


When the Past Catches Up

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Lizzy-verse [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angels are Dicks, Childhood, F/M, Kidnapping, Quickies, Sex, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 11:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To better understand the very important meaning behind the woman that's been hunting with the Winchesters for a while now, Castiel sends Dean, Sam and Lizzy back to Lizzy's hometown in 1990.  When they arrive he tells them to follow her and discover all they can about the young girl when she was just six.  What they find is surprising.  Not that finding Lizzy and her best friend Lou living their lives happily and safely is surprising, but the fact that they also find that there are two new little boys attending their elementary school for the time being sure is.  And they just happen to be brothers.  And they just happen to have pulled up to the school in a big black Chevrolet Impala.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Any Time at All

**Author's Note:**

> This is the seventh story in my series. It follows the trio back in time to discover more about Lizzy. Why does she have a connection to Castiel? Who are her parents? Who are the two mysterious boys rolling through town with their dad? And why are the angels after Castiel and Lizzy? It's all quite complicated.

* * *

*****THEN*****

"What's going on, Cas?" Dean asks when he sees the ridged manner Castiel suddenly acts. The angel stands up from his seat in the wooden chair and looks around the hotel room, effectively cutting off their highly important conversation about just who Lizzy is.

"They're coming," Lizzy answers for the angel, also sensing the oncoming visitors. "A lot of them. And fast."

"Cas, what do we do?" Sam quickly asks with alarm as he and Dean stand up quickly.

"Come," Castiel demands as he lines them up side by side in the Las Vegas hotel room, Dean in the middle. He grabs Lizzy and Dean's wrists and pulls their hands together, getting them to hold on to the other. He then does the same with Sam and Dean.

"Whoa," Dean stops him, pulling his wrist back. "The hell are you doing?"

"Trust me, Dean," he responds heavily while pressing Sam and Dean's palms together and they awkwardly oblige the angel while looking suspiciously at each other.

"Um, Cas?" Lizzy begins, a threatening feeling overcoming her suddenly. It's dark and foreboding. "They're pretty angry."

"They're angry with me," Cas cryptically explains. "I have answers for you but if we stay here, it won't be good. We need to go."

With that, Castiel presses his fingers to Dean's forehead in the middle of the hand-held line. The room is filled with the sound of fluttering and then it's empty. All four are gone and the only sound left in the room is the TV quietly playing daytime soaps.

* * *

*****NOW*****

Lizzy, Dean, and Sam find themselves hand in hand while standing on a sidewalk, a quiet road at their backs and a small house stands before them. Clearly they're not in Las Vegas anymore.

"We're here," Castiel announces standing in front of them, his focus still trained on Lizzy as she looks around and begins to take in the surrounding area. They appear to be in the middle of a suburban neighborhood with a row of houses on each side of the road and children with backpacks walking down the sidewalks on the sunny, brisk morning. The grass is green in front of every moderate sized house and the leaves on all the trees are tinged with the beginnings of their fall color change.

"Ok… mind letting us know where here is?" Dean questions while letting go of Lizzy and Sam to drop his hands heavily on his hips. He's annoyed that the angel zapped them somewhere without any form of warning. Whatever, Dean thinks to himself. He didn't want to poop this week anyways.

"Holy shit," Lizzy mumbles lowly when the recognition sets in. "We're home."

"Whose home would that be?" Dean asks her while his eyes study the quaint white with black trim house they are standing in front of.

"My home," she quietly adds.

"This is your house?" Sam questions, turning to look at her.

"No, no," Lizzy tells him while still peering at the home in front of them. "This is Kyle Dennino's house. We're in my hometown."

"Who the hell is Kyle Dennino?" Dean wonders impatiently aloud, seriously confused by where they've been dropped off.

"We were good friends when we were little," Lizzy explains while taking in the house and yard she hasn't seen in years. "Lou and I used to hang out at his house after school, before sometimes too. Our moms were friends since high school so Mrs. Dennino watched us sometimes. She would make us breakfast on the days when my mom had to go into school super early. Oh man." Lizzy points to a large tree in the front yard. "He fell out of that tree right there once. Broke his arm and knocked out his two front baby teeth the day before picture day. Mrs. Dennino was wicked pissed."

"This is a lovely waltz down memory lane and all, but two seconds ago you sit us down to tell us that L is part angel then you zap us here to avoid your ticked off siblings… what's happening, Cas?" Dean asks Castiel, wanting to find out just what is going on. "Why the hell are we here?"

"To understand more about Elizabeth's life," Castiel begins to explain, receiving wide eyed looks from all three hunters before he focuses solely on her. "You've unfortunately been informed sooner than I'd like that you are important to heaven… and to the plan it has for the world." Castiel looks around him, eyes darting from place to place. He looks alarmed. "There isn't much time for explanation. You're here to understand your  _past_ and all the things that have been kept from you concerning it."

The group grows quiet. Sam and Lizzy attempt to decipher what Castiel is telling them, but Dean starts to get a clearer picture instantly. It was Castiel's emphasis on the word past that made it all click for him.

"Oh, no. Cas, you didn't," Dean lets out in complaint, arms dropped to his sides with defeat. Not this again.

"I regretfully had to," Castiel answers.

"Had to what?" Sam asks, knowing that Dean's clear let down can't be good for any of them.

"This whole thing isn't about where we are… it's about when," Dean answers, peering over to Lizzy to gage her reaction. He's very worried about how she'll handle all of this.

"Shit," Lizzy says immediately after Dean's statement. She points to the car parked in the driveway of the house they are still standing in front of. "That's Kyle's mom's car."

"So?" Sam asks her, not getting why the sight of the car is so important.

"So, she got into an accident with that car when we were in fourth grade. She totaled it and replaced it with a… Mazda, I think."

"Good memory," Dean answers her, impressed by what she can recollect.

"Thanks, but… that car is old and nonexistent now. And Kyle's family moved away before high school. So how…"

_The front door of the house flies open suddenly and a young boy, very tall for his age with his backpack slung over one shoulder, jumps down the front steps._

Lizzy panics with the sight and grabs tightly to Dean bicep while her face drops.

"That's Kyle?" Dean assumes.

"Yeah… but he's a kid," Lizzy quietly answers as the surprise of seeing him, her friend from so long ago still looking like he did so long ago. He should be in his twenties and about seven feet talk. He played basketball in college before she lost track of him.

_"I'm gonna beat you both!" Kyle shouts into the open door. "You guys are wicked slow!"_

_Barreling through the front door after him are two little girls, no older than eight, each wearing their own backpack. The brunette pounds down the front steps first with a bright smile on her face as she begins chasing after Kyle. "You're so not gonna win this time!" she shouts to the boy already halfway down the street._

Lizzy inhales sharply and her nails dig hard into Dean's arm. She feels like the wind has been knocked straight out of her lungs and she can't breathe. This can't possibly be happening. It can't. It's not possible.

_As the darker haired girl runs quickly past the four standing on the sidewalk, she turns over her shoulder to yell back to her blond friend. "Move it, Lou-Lou! He's gonna get to the monkey bars first!"_

Lizzy slaps a hand over her mouth as what she sees topples her emotions and she tries desperately not to cry at the sight.

_"Shut up, Lizzy!" the smaller girl yells as she hustles to catch up. "He always beats us, you know that!"_

Sam's frozen. His feet are rooted to the pavement and he can't for the life of him peel his eyes off of the little, thoroughly annoyed blond girl. It's her through and through, there's not a doubt in his mind. The blond strands, the crystal blue eyes, and the attitude add up to her perfectly.

_"What, are you giving up you baby!" her dark haired friend shouts back, smile still beaming._

_The blond girl pauses for a minute, shaking her head. "No!" she yells back. "He just wins every time, dummy!"_

_"Quitter!"_

As the smaller of the two girls jogs past them, she leaves behind three people standing on the sidewalk with dropped jaws and paralyzed bodies. No one speaks as everyone is completely unsure of what to say. The only sound heard besides cars passing by and kids talking as they walk to school in the early morning is Lizzy, her sobs a complete contrast to the surrounding happy scene.

"Oh my God," Lizzy finally cries out, her voice muffled by her hands covering over her face as the situation hits her hard for what it truly is. Seeing the two of them, best friends even back then, makes her crumble. Lou, her Lou, just ran past her completely unaware of her looming, unpleasant and far too short future. It hurt like nothing else ever has.

"Jesus, Cas!" Dean angrily says to the angel as he pulls Lizzy into himself, wrapping protective arms around her as she cries into his chest. "Couldn't you've been a little more subtle?"

"Or at least warned us?" Sam quietly asks, brow knitted in pain as his eyes look ready to overflow themselves. His chest physically hurts with what he's just seen.

"I know it's not ideal," the angel explains regretfully to them. "But it is necessary."

"Necessary to make me see  _that_!" Lizzy suddenly shouts out, turning to face Castiel with both anger and crushing sadness. "You couldn't have sat me down for another fucking heart to… whatever the hell it is you have, instead?"

"No. The other angels don't particularly agree with me informing you of any of this," Castiel begins to explain before making a concerned expression while continually looking around them. "I tried to talk to you but we had to leave to keep you all safe so here we are…" The hunters follow the angel's eyes with concern.

"They followed us, didn't they?" Sam asks, getting the eerie feeling that Castiel is on high alert for a reason.

"Definitely. They're on their way right now," Lizzy answers him confidently, wiping her eyes while feeling the hatred of the small, angry angelic army.

"I will hold them off," Castiel proclaims, his silver sword dropping from his trench coat sleeve before quickly turning to Lizzy in a rush and speaking in a quick, decisive tone. "You need to follow your younger self, learn as much as you can. It will all be revealed to you and I will be back as soon as I can."

Castiel disappears into thin air, leaving the shell-shocked three to their own devices.

"What the fuck is going on!" Lizzy asks with sheer panic to both Sam and Dean, eyes filled with anxiety and fear. "What do we do?"

"I think we listen to what Cas told us to do," Sam says, knowing it's not what she wants to hear.

"I so can't do that," Lizzy shakes her head rapidly. "I can't just go watch myself and Lou as kids. I know too much now. I  _can't_  do that."

"Yes you can," Sam wearily tells her. "We all can." It's more that he's trying to convince himself of this than Lizzy. Seeing Lou at that age broke his heart and knowing he has to keep doing that leaves him absolutely shaken.

"And what choice do we have anyways?" Dean adds, knowing from experience that they had to do and see what Castiel asked them to. "We're kinda stranded here. Can't get back until Cas gets what he wants out of us. Trust me."

Lizzy wrings her hands and looks down the street in the direction of her elementary school which is just a few hundred feet away. They can hear the morning bell ring and the students yelling. She knows from memory that they are lining up to head inside for the day. Surreal… far too surreal. She's still drunk and sleeping, that has to be it, right? That bender  _was_  a good one after all. Maybe this is just her extremely drunken brain punishing her for the abuse she put it through. As she runs a hand through her hair out of pure frustration she hears Mary's charm bracelet on her wrist jangle as she does, reminding her that Dean had just moments ago given it to her and that this is in fact real.

"Fuck me," Lizzy grumbles and takes a seat on the curb, her elbows propped on her knees and head in her hands. "When the fuck did this become my existence?"

As Sam stays standing, walking in little circles to clear his mind, as Dean sits next to her and drapes an arm around her shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. "Looks like this was always your existence."

"I don't want it to be." Lizzy looks up to him with desperate eyes, her fear and defeat clear on her face. Once again Dean finds himself angry for all that she's being put through but instead of show that anger, he goes for an attempt to rationalize everything.

"Hey, I don't want mine any more than you want yours, L. This sucks, I know it. But you wanted answers, right?"

"Not like this!" she rebuts, eyebrows knitted in concern. "This is ridiculous!"

"I know," Dean says, pulling her close. Lizzy drops her head onto his shoulder as the idea of what she must do begins to find its roots in her mind. She has to do this. She has to find out what it is that Castiel feels is so highly important for her to know.

"Shit, this is so jacked up," Lizzy complains one last time before mentally preparing herself.

"Hey, uh, guys?" Sam calls down to them when he stops mid-pace and stands tall with his eyes trained down the road away from the school. What he sees sends chills down his spine and a whole new kind of panic punches him right in the gut.

"You'll be ok," Dean assures her, ignoring Sam. One person at a time. "You're strong. And you're not alone. You have us with you."

"Thank God for that," Lizzy huffs while sitting up on her own accord.

"Oh shit," Sam lets out when his eyes confirm just what he'd thought he'd seen seconds before. "Dean!"

Dean looks up at his brother and sees him pointing in off the distance at the same time that he suddenly hears a very familiar rumbling engine coming closer. Following Sam's eye line, Dean looks down the road as the approaching car barrels forward.

"No fucking way…" Dean drawls out, standing tall and watching as the pristine, black '67 Chevy Impala flies past them. As it goes by, Dean and Sam both recognize the small face peering at them through the back window, all wide hazel eyes, pointy little nose, and shaggy brown hair.

"What is happening here?" Sam mumbles while still too surprised to fully function. It's quite clear now that they weren't there for just Lizzy. They were there for themselves too and the revelation is terrifying.

"That was your car…" Lizzy trails off while slowly standing, face paling as she does, and watching the Impala pull over to the side of the road up ahead, right in front of the school.

"Definitely." Dean sighs with the added issue to their already problematic situation.

"Oh my God," Lizzy mumbles. What the fuck are the Winchesters doing in her town way back when? This makes no sense at all to her.

"Shit," Dean lets out, the shock of seeing the car still ruling his better judgment. He begins walking in the direction of the school, the walk very quickly turning into a sprint.

"Dean!" Lizzy yells out to him, but he only runs faster. The other two hunters start moving, following close behind.

* * *

 


	2. Back to School

* * *

As soon as Dean gets close enough to the school, staying a good distance behind the Impala, the whole scene comes into full focus; the two story brick school building, the flagpole flying the stars and stripes, the few straggling kids walking into the building with backpacks, and amid the cars parked out front is, without a doubt, his car complete with the Kansas license plate that used to be attached to it up until about a year ago.

"Why are you guys in my town?" Lizzy asks while coming to a stop next to Dean, Sam stopping next to her on the other side. Neither answer while the two brothers watch with morbid curiosity as the driver's side door loudly creaks open.

_John's tall frame unfolds and stands up, rubbing his tired eyes and looking around the area carefully, making sure it's safe for his boys to come out._

"Dad…" Sam whispers out. It felt surreal to see him again. He had darker hair than the last time he saw him. When John had died, he was much greyer than he was at this point in time. He also has thick sideburns and a clean shaven face much like Sam remembers him having when they were kids. The oversize leather jacket that was now in Dean's possession hugs his shoulders, the collar popped exactly the way Dean always wears it.

_A child kicks open the back driver's side door and jumps out, his boots thudding onto the pavement before shoving the door shut behind him._

_"He's not coming out, dad," the kid warns knowingly as he adjusts the collar of his canvas jacket to match his father's. "He's pretty pissed at you still."_

Lizzy sighs loudly, knowing she's looking right at a young Dean. He's about four and a half feet tall, couldn't be older than eleven, but its surly him. The way he stands, the inflection in his words, everything about him confirmed it. That is without a doubt the man she loves… before he was a man of course. Grabbing tightly onto his full-grown hand as he stands next to her watching, she tries to gage Dean's headspace. The blank expression on his face gives nothing away.

_"Watch your mouth, Dean," John lightly says down to his son, a hand ruffling his short blond hair. "And he'll come out. He always does." Dean gets an annoyed look and does his best to fix his hairstyle back to the way it was, using the side window's reflection to help him, as John walks around the car, opening the backseat door on the other side. "C'mon out, Sammy."_

_"I don't wanna!" the small voice shouts back without getting out of the car._

The expression on Sam's face as he watches can only be described as painful. This argument was an old one for his father and him. He regrets every fight like this he ever started as a child looking back on his life. In hindsight, he knows his dad did his best.

_"You kinda have to, dude," John responds lightly with a sad smile, ducking down to look into the car. "What's going on? You love school."_

_"I don't want to go to_ another _school, dad!" Sam heatedly returns and Dean shakes his head before walking to the other side of the car. He nudges John out of the way with a look that says he'll handle this one and leans into the car._

_"Sammy, stop being so stubborn. You're gonna have fun like you always do," Dean reassures his little brother who is obviously tired of being the new kid._

_"Please don't make me go, Dean," Sam begs back._

His little brother's pleads still break Dean's heart to this day. He remembers all the times Sam would melt down over this same issue and it hurt more every damn time.

_"Please don't make me go without you, Sam," young Dean retorts_

Dean whispers the same line at the exact same time as his former self, eliciting a surprised look from Lizzy. He remembers saying this very thing to Sam the first day at nearly every new school they went to for years. And he remembers it working quite well.

_Dean continues to try. "I don't know the people in there either. I need you to come with me." He holds his hand into the open door to take Sam's._

_"Don't be a liar, Dean! You don't need me!" the little voice rebuts loudly, not taking the hand extended his way._

_"Not lying, Sammy," Dean fights back. "I'm scared. I need you with me, man. C'mon, don't leave me hanging." Dean keeps his hand extended for another minute before his brother finally takes it. Dean pulls him out of the car and as soon as Sammy is on his feet, backpack over one shoulder, Dean tucks the small, drooping shouldered kid under his arm._

"I remember this," Sam quietly says as he watches the scene unfold.

_John shuts the back door of the car, proudly patting his older son on the shoulder in thanks, and the three make their way through the red front door of the school, disappearing from sight._

"This was our fourth school in like two months," Sam adds. "I fought dad the whole ride over."

"You're right," Dean says to his brother, the memories coming back. "You pitched a fucking fit before we even left the motel that morning, saying how mean dad was."

"Didn't want to be the new kid again," Sam recalls clearly now with a shrug of his shoulders.

"That ended up being a pretty common fight for you two," Dean adds.

"This is fucking adorable and all, but big picture here guys! What the fuck!" Lizzy asks heatedly as she turns around to face them both, reminding them just how insane their situation is. "You guys went to my school!"

"Looks like it," Sam answers. "We've been to so many schools that this one must have slipped our minds like most of them have."

"Yeah, I don't really even remember much about being in this town at all," Dean admits after searching his brain.

"Ok, let me try this," Lizzy evenly states while growing frustrated with the boys for not fully grasping the severity of this discovery. "What are the chances that you two just happened to randomly go to my school when you were little and it doesn't mean anything at all and it's an actual coincidence?"

"Slim to none?" Dean guesses.

"Non-fucking-existent!" Lizzy shouts back with balled up fists. "This is fucking crazy! What the hell is going on!"

"Ok, you need to relax," Dean tells her, grabbing her by the shoulders and staring straight into her eyes. "You're in public and you're ranting like a crazy person. We have nothing with us, no weapons, no I.D.s, no nothing, so take it down before you get us some unwanted attention." Dean peers around him, hoping no school kids or their parents were looking at them. They lucked out this time.

"This is insane!" Lizzy whispers her shout to Dean, repeating once more how unable to grasp what is happening she is.

"No shit," Dean quietly responds, walking her over to a park bench across the street from the school and plopping her into it. "Just calm down a minute and we'll figure this out. We always do."

Dean sits next to her and he watches her eyes dart all around her. She's gripped with panic, he can see it, and she's doing her best to keep it together. He grabs her hand, his little way to reassure her, and the corners of her mouth quickly lift with the contact before dropping again.

"We need a plan," Sam finally suggests as he walks over to them, stopping briefly at the newspaper vending machines next to the bench. One of the papers is the Free Press so he opens the door to grab one of those as he's fresh out of change.

" _I_  need a fucking Valium," Lizzy remarks, keeping her voice down like Dean asked of her. Sam sits next to Dean on the bench and tosses the paper into his lap.

"October 1990," Sam tells them, giving them a frame of reference for the time they've been dropped into.

"I was in first grade," Lizzy thoughtfully tells them. "Mrs. Tomlin was my teacher. Louie and I were in the same class that year."

"What can you tell us about the school?" Dean asks her in an even tone, trying to make the conversation more businesslike for her.

"Um," Lizzy starts while training her eyes on the front of the school. Her head cocks to the side and her eyebrows knit together. "I can tell you that the grey station wagon parked in the front lot is my mother's. She taught sixth grade here for years… my mother is inside that building right now." The pain is clear in her statement.

"That must've sucked to be you," Dean quips, aiming to get her mind to relax and not crumble with the idea of her mom being alive and so close. "School is supposed to be a time to get away from your parents."

"Yeah, but if I ever forgot my lunch money, the parental cash machine was just upstairs," Lizzy rebuts while still searching the area.

"Wait a minute," Sam says with a concentrated look as he crunches the numbers in his head. "1990. That means if you were in first grade," Sam looks at Lizzy. "Then I was in second and Dean, you were in sixth."

"Makes sense," Dean returns, not really understanding at first what Sam is getting at. Sam exchanges a knowing look with Lizzy, assuming she's figured it out by now. The scowl on her face lets him know she has.

"Of course," she says sarcastically to Sam before turning back to Dean. "By chance do you remember the name of your teacher when you were here?"

"Nah," Dean admits as he scours his memory. "Hmm, but if I'm thinking of the right school I do remember that she was kinda hot."

Lizzy rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Son of a bitch.

"Mm, you know what? I think this is the place. Damn she was awesome. Long dark hair, tight little body on her, and she never took any of my shit, which was kinda why I liked her," Dean continues. "She was a challenge, I loved that, and I think I got her to like me in the end. Oh and she used to look down over her glasses at me when I was being my usual pain in the ass self and give me this look like she was pissed…"

"Kinda like this?" Lizzy asks seriously, pointing to her own face while tilting her head forward and staring him down while annoyed. The light bulb finally went on for him.

"A lot like that actually," Dean grimaces as he realizes he'd had a crush on Lizzy mother way back when. "No wonder I had a thing for her, huh?"

"My head hurts," Lizzy responds while leaning forward and clutching her head in her hands. "That's so creepy."

"Ah. Mrs. Noonan," Dean absentmindedly comments while recalling the lovely woman in his mind, not thinking twice about the inappropriateness. "What a MILF."

"Not now, Dean," Sam tries to stop his brother from making matters worse for Lizzy.

"Dude, she called dad a DILF before," Dean tries to defend himself. "Payback, man. Plus, they say if you want to know what your future with a chick looks like, just look at her mother… well I'm a' looking and I'm a' liking."

"Time and place, dude," Lizzy sternly reminds him, once again the lesson she tries to impart onto him gets lost.

"And you're forgetting that the rest of us have never been crapped out on the other side of a worm hole before," Sam reminds Dean. "We're not exactly as comfortable as you are right now."

"Well you better get comfortable fast. We're here and we've got some shit to get done, you little pain in the ass," Dean says, jabbing his brother in the ribs with an elbow. Something about seeing himself as a kid has made him want to revert back to that time a little. He forgot how fun it can be to get on Sam's nerves, especially with how distant they've been in the past few months.

"Dude, cut the shit. I was like six," Sam responds, shoving Dean's arm away from him. When he feels Dean flick his ear, he starts to lose his composure. "Dean!"

"Sam!" Dean patronizingly calls back.

"Uh oh," Lizzy's worried voice calls to them as they all turn to see John Winchester back at his car, paused with the driver's side door open and staring straight at the three people on the bench. Sadly, none of them noticed when he came back out of the school and it looks like they've revealed themselves to him. Lizzy sends an easy smile his way, hoping to ease the tension, but John's concerned and suspicious look remains trained on the two men next to her.

Dean grins and waves John's way, hoping to do the same, and through his fake smile wonders aloud, "You think he heard us?"

"Definitely," Sam returns, trying to answer quietly. Eventually they watch as John shakes his head and gets back into the Impala. The car starts up and rumbles off down the road and the three hunters exhale loudly.

"Oh, that can't be good," Dean grumbles.

"Not at all," Sam agrees.

* * *

 


	3. Dean and Sammy Down By the Schoolyard

* * *

After an hour of sitting on the park bench across from the elementary school, the initial shock is beginning to wear off and the three have found themselves tossing out ideas as to how they should go about the situation they find themselves in.

"Hey. What day is it?" Lizzy questions, trying to formulate a true plan.

"Thursday," Sam answers, recalling the date on the newspaper.

"Lou always came home with Mom and me on Tuesdays and Thursdays because both of her parents worked late those days," Lizzy recollects. "So I guess I'll follow mom, Lou and myself when school gets out. You two can go after your own selves and see what's going on there."

"You're not going off on your own," Dean tells her determinedly. Lizzy doesn't respond with words. Instead she just looks at Dean with an expression that lets him know he's being overbearing once again. "Don't look at me like that, L."

"Don't be so over protective, Dean," she rebuts. "It's  _my_  family. They're really boring and we live in a quiet neighborhood where nothing ever happens."

"Right up until the night your parents got attacked," Dean rebuts with a solid arguing point. "And there are angels right on our asses."

"Lizzy, I hate saying it, but Dean's right," Sam adds in. "We have to be smart about this. I'm not too sure that splitting up is a good idea right now."

"At least not until we get some weapons," Dean tacks on, agreeing with his brother totally. "For now, we all stick together."

"So we just let John and, um, younger versions of you two go off and we don't follow them? At all?" Lizzy challenges.

"Pretty much," Dean answers. "We'll catch up to them later. Cas said to follow you, so that's what we're gonna do first."

"I'm not gonna win this one, am I?" Lizzy assumes once she sees the hard stance they're both taking on the issue.

"Not at all," Sam confirms for her.

"Fine," Lizzy grumbles, unused to not getting her way. With Sam and Dean she usually has their numbers and can get what she wants from them. Maybe they're right then.

The loud outdoor bell rings and takes the three hunter's attention away from the conversation for a moment. Soon enough, the side yard is flooded with screaming and running children climbing on playground equipment and chasing each other.

"Recess," Lizzy offhandedly announces as she stands up and looks both ways down the street. "Let's go."

"Where?" Dean asks her as she steps off the sidewalk and begins moving toward the recess yard.

"To go learn more about our former selves," she calls over her shoulder, never slowing her pace. Dean and Sam jump up and follow her as she makes her way across the street and around the chain-link fence marking the school's perimeter. She knows the area well and quickly finds the wooded space she remembered being at the back corner of the playground and ducks behind the thick bushes there.

"We look like pedophiles," Sam comments unhappily while kneeling on the grass and hoping that he's out of sight.

"We look like a lot of things a lot of times," Lizzy brushes off. It's true. They look suspicious whenever they're looking into any case. What's the difference now, really?

Lizzy spots and points to her younger self and Lou walking across the blacktop yard towards nothing in particular. They stroll side by side, Lou with a book in her hand as usual and reading while Lizzy spoke to her a mile a minute. "Who reads at recess?" she wonders aloud, hoping the offhanded comment will help ease the stress of what she's seeing.

"My nerd brother," Dean answers while nodding his head to a few feet in front of them. The three all look to see Sam sitting alone in the middle of a row of swings, engrossed in a book and avoiding all the other children. "Hundred bucks says he's still stewing over having to go to a new school today."

_Lizzy's eyes light up when she spies the new kid off in the distance. She tugs on Lou's coat sleeve to get her attention and Lou lifts her head from her book. After Lizzy whispers into Lou's ear with a hand covering their conversation, they both look over in his direction and Lou nods. They quickly take off, jogging towards him with smiles on their faces._

_"Hi!" Lizzy brightly yells to Sammy as they get closer to him. She sits down on a swing to his left while looking him over. "You're new, right?"_

_"Ah, yeah," Sammy timidly replies while lifting his eyes from his own book to meet Lizzy's for the first time._

"You have  _got_  to be kidding me," Sam mumbles from behind the brush, unable to fully accept what he's witnessing. "There's no way this happened."

_"I'm Lizzy," the young girl informs him while pushing off the ground backwards to get the swing moving a little. "This is my best friend, Lou."_

_"Lou?" Sammy asks while making a weird face at her name._

_"Yeah," Lou flatly says back to him. "Why?"_

_"Never heard of a girl with the name Lou before," Sammy shrugs off._

_"It's short for Louise," Lizzy tell him matter-of-factly._

_"Shut up, Lizzy!" Lou angrily shouts to her friend for giving away her real name._

"She always hated her full name, even then," Lizzy whispers to no one in particular, a small smile threatening to break through. She revels in the moment she gets to re-experience, though it makes her ache to have her best friend back in her life.

_"I like the name Lou," Sammy says to her with a smile, clearly trying to recuperate from the slip up. "It's unique."_

_"Thanks," Lou bashfully says, picking at the binding of the book in her hand._

_"I'm Sammy."_

_"What grade are you in?" Lizzy breaks in with her curiosity._

_"Second," Sammy answers her while finally shutting his book._

_"Who's your teacher?" Lizzy keeps prying._

" _Um, Ms. Burnside."_

_"She's really nice," Lizzy lets him know. "You'll like her. She's…"_

_Lizzy's comment gets interrupted when a boy runs up behind her and pushes her in the back, making her fall forward off of her swing and onto the ground harshly._

Dean flinches with the sight out of instinct. Doesn't matter what time they're in or age they're at, he feels that tug in his soul to help her followed by the desire to pummel that little kid for what he did. Lizzy grabs his wrist, silently telling him to cool off when she recognizes his emotions.

_"What the heck, Peter!" Lizzy shouts with fury as she gets up from the ground and sees who pushed her. As she brushes off her bare knees now covered in dirt and blood, Sammy stands up with an angry look aimed at the laughing bully. He drops his book onto the ground and tenses up his shoulders, ready to do what he can to help, but is highly surprised when Lizzy steps up and pushes Peter right back, making the bully only laugh harder with her weakness._

" _Why did you do that!" Lou loudly yells, upset by what just happened to her friend._

_"It's funny," Peter laughs._

_Suddenly, Dean can be seen sprinting across the school yard right towards the group._

"Some things never change, huh?" Lizzy comments while nudging Dean with her shoulder.

_Dean had been keeping an eye on his little brother, like always, and caught the rude and mean-spirited act as he did. He flies into the group of kids and shoves Peter, who is much younger and smaller than him, in the shoulders, making the kid stumble backward and trip over his own feet. Peter hits the blacktop butt first and looks up in shock._

_"How do_ you _like it!" Dean shouts to Peter as the bully gets back onto his feet._

_"Get outta here, new kid!" Peter shouts back despite looking frightened while standing back up._

_"You wanna try pushing me like that!" Dean retorts, stepping closer to Peter and eyeing him._

_Peter takes a moment, looking between Sammy who is still staring daggers into him and Dean who's balled up fists look ready to fly. Before he can say anything or even run, Dean pushes him again._

_"C'mon tough guy!" Dean tries, looking to invoke the kid a little more._

_"Whoa!" an adult voice can be heard yelling. The entire group turns to face the teacher headed their way._

_"Great," young Lizzy grumbles unhappily as the woman approaches with an angry face._

"Holy shit," Lizzy whispers, once more seeking the comfort of Dean's hand in hers. "Can't do this." He knows why immediately. The teacher marching over has the same dark and expressive eyes as Lizzy, along with the same body type, skin tone, even her gait. It's Lizzy's mother. Dean squeezes back, doing what he can to silently support her. He's already been through seeing his own mother again in the past and it was heartbreaking. He sympathizes completely with her, especially when he peers over at her pained expression. He might have to kill Cas for this one.

_"What's going on over here?"_

_"Nothing, mom!" Lizzy embarrassingly says._

_"Doesn't look like nothing," she returns while focusing on Peter and Dean. "Start talking, boys."_

_"This kid just pushed her for no reason," Dean points at Peter, ready to explain what's happening. "So I came over here to see how he'd liked it."_

_"He's lying, Mrs. Noonan," Peter claims, trying desperately to get out of trouble._

_"Then why is my daughter bleeding?" Mrs. Noonan asks after seeing Lizzy's injuries._

_"She just fell," Peter lies._

_"No way!" Dean shouts out._

_"Nuh-uh," Lizzy yells at the same exact time as Dean. "He pushed me for no reason."_

_"Alright Pete my boy, you know the drill," Mrs. Noonan tells him, pointing to the brick wall of the school building. Peter shuffles his feet to go take his punishment of standing against the wall for the remainder of recess. "Liz, go to the nurse and have her clean you up, ok?"_

_"Fine," Lizzy sadly says. She goes to leave, but pauses to turn back and smile at Dean, something sweet and earnest in her eyes. Dean just awkwardly smiles back while shuffling on his feet._

_"And you," Mrs. Noonan focuses in on Dean. "Not even here two hours and you're already getting into trouble?"_

_"Sorry, ma'am," Dean respectfully apologizes just like his father had taught him to. "But that kid shouldn't be been picking on girls like that for no reason. It's not right."_

_Mrs. Noonan takes a long look at the new student with a stern expression, only breaking into a small smile towards the end of her silence._

_"You know what?" she says to him. "You're right, he shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean you go picking fights. It's my job to intervene, not yours."_

"She's so good," Lizzy quietly laments to no one in particular as a silent tear of pride and longing slowly rolls down her cheek. Her mother always had an unbelievable and solid understanding of people, especially kids. She knew how to deal with them based on pure instinct and she was damn good at her job. Lizzy held her mother in such high regard for moments exactly like this.

Seeing her tears, Sam drops a heavy hand onto her shoulder. His heart is absolutely breaking for her.

_"You're right, ma'am," Dean says back. "I won't do it again, I promise."_

_"Also, you don't have to call me ma'am," Mrs. Noonan makes a disturbed face. "Makes me feel old. You think I'm old?"_

Lizzy huffs a sad laugh at her mother's comment. So very like her to say such a thing. Breaking tension with humor; another thing she picked up from her mother.

_"Not at all," Dean responds with the same suave smile he still uses to this day to get out of any and everything._

_"Stick to Mrs. Noonan then," she tells him with the patented big, toothy smile that she passed on to her daughter. "Now go play. You only a few minutes left and I don't want you bouncing off the walls of my classroom the rest of the day."_

_"Thank you," Dean sighs, relieved to not be in any trouble. He smiles over to Sam before running off to rejoin the kickball game he'd been in the middle of._

Lizzy looks back over to Dean one more time after seeing him interact with her mother. As surreal, heart wrenching, and just awful in general as this experience has already been, Lizzy finds it actually heartwarming somewhere in the midst. Dean looks back and reaches out to wipe away some of her tears, hating seeing her crushed like this.

_"You know that kid?" Lou asks Sammy, jerking her thumb in Dean's direction as he runs away._

_"He's my brother," Sammy says with a hint of pride._

_"Oh," Lou simply answers back, sitting into one of the swings with her book in her lap. "It was nice of him to stick up for Lizzy like that."_

_"He does that stuff all the time," Sammy explains while picking up his book, brushing it off, and dropping down next to Lou in another swing. "What're you reading?"_

_"Samantha Saves the Day," she says while holding up the book to show him the cover. "It's an American Girl book. They're really good."_

"Ha," Dean reaches out and pokes Sam in the shoulder. "Samantha."

"Shh," Sam shushes back.

"It's like a really girly omen for the future," Dean pushes further.

"Shut up," Sam whispers back, desperate to not miss a word of their conversation. He never had long enough with Lou, so to see this previously unknown interaction is something he considers a gift. He won't let his brother ruin that for him.

_"What you reading?" Lou asks as she tries to get a glimpse of the cover in his hands. Sammy holds out the quite hefty for a young child book for her to see._

_"New England Ghost Files," he tells her, opening up to the page he left off on. "It's all ghost stories from this area, true ones."_

_"Sounds scary," Lou says with a worried face._

_"It is, but it's cool," Sammy admits absently while diving back into the chapter he'd been working on. "Dean said it was good and that I should read it while we're here, so I'm giving it a try."_

_"Cool," Lou brushes off as she opens her own book. The two sit side by side silently, each engrossed in their own worlds, until the recess bell rings a few minutes later. Once she hears the sound, Lou calmly marks her page, closes her book and stands up. "Bye Sammy," she says and takes off running toward the class as it lines up. Sammy gets up also but keeps reading while slowly walking towards the school again. He's only interrupted for a few seconds when Dean runs past him, ruffling his hair._

_"Jerk!" Sammy yells out to his brother as Dean gives him a taunting look before they all head inside to continue their day._

Lizzy turns away from the building and sits on the ground once all the students are inside. She brings her knees into her chest and hugs tightly, closing her eyes for just a moment in attempt to bring down her anxiety and clear out the last of her tears. She can feel the building tension inside of her. She's had a few panic attacks before and now would not be the time for another.

"Now we seriously need a plan," Dean announces, putting most of his focus on Sam while Lizzy takes a breather.

"Yeah," Sam answers as he tries to get himself out of the daze he's in. "A plan. Uh, we should head to Lizzy's house while no one's there. Look around, um, see if we can find out anything helpful."

"I agree," Dean says quickly, standing up and looking around the area to make sure they were alone. "And we probably need some kinda home base and weapons at some point, but without money that'll be tough. I only have a couple bucks in my wallet."

"Dad's in town," Sam reminds his brother. "We know he has a whole arsenal of weapons. Maybe we could borrow a few."

Dean looks at his brother with disbelief for a beat. "And how do you think we're gonna do that, Sam?" he asks while annoyed. "You wanna just walk up to him and say what? Hi John, I'm your son from the future, can I have a couple guns please. And some salt if you got it."

"We could steal them," Sam says simply, knowing that his idea was the opposite of simple. Dean looks at his brother dumbfounded.

"Let's call that our last resort," he rebuts while looking off in the distance for a parked car that no one would miss too much. "Stealing weapons from dad? Ha. Dude, he'd kill us."

"I never said it'd be easy," Sam says back before hearing it. Struggled breathing. He turns his head sharply to the side from his seat to see Lizzy curled up, forehead resting on her knees, and her back hitching erratically along with her attempted inhales. He immediately scoots over until he's right next to her and Lizzy reaches out to grab his forearm when she feels him close by. "Lizzy, you're fine."

Dean hears his brother's words of comfort and turns quickly to look down at them on the ground. Lizzy is balled up and shaking her head rapidly against her knees while digging her fingers into Sam's arm. Anxiety attack. It's been a long, long time since she's had one of these and Dean had only hoped she was done with them all together. Then again, this situation would make most people lose their cool.

"Not, not fine," Lizzy struggles without looking up. "No, no, no…"

"Hey, look at me," Sam calmly and soothingly asks of Lizzy and she lifts her head, her eyes meeting his. "You're ok. You have us and we'll figure it all out. You can do this."

"No, no. Nothing's… can't do it. No," Lizzy panics as she once again shakes her head no and drops it back onto her knees, her breaths continuing to come out broken and ragged. "Mom and Lou, no. I can't…"

Dean takes a seat on the ground in front of her, ready to bring her back down to Earth like he has in the past when this happens but Sam beats him to it. Having seen Dean do this before, he pries Lizzy's hand off of his arm and presses it flat against his chest.

"In and out, Lizzy," Sam says, pressing her palm hard against him. "Breathe with me, ok? You're alright. Dean's right here, so am I. You're not alone and together we can handle this, right Dean?" Sam looks to Dean with wide eyes, hoping to elicit his help.

"Of course," Dean tells her, running a hand through her hair and over the back of her head. "We can get through this. L, you're fine, more than fine."

Dean, shocked to see Sam handle her so well, surprisingly finds himself… angry? Odd, he thinks to himself as he sits in front of her, one hand grasping tightly to her free one and one hand on her knee to show her that he's there. He hates it, but he swears he feels a pang of jealousy at Sam's control of the situation, and control over her. Dean used to be the only one who could help her in times like this but now that Sam had grown close enough to earn that full trust she must have let him in completely. Dean should be happy about this, and he knows it, but something about it nags at him. Maybe those shifters hadn't been lying. Maybe they weren't trying to get him jealous so much as they were just plain telling the truth when they told him about Lizzy and Sam kissing. Once more he brushes aside the thought as best he can. They'd never do that. He  _knows_  they wouldn't.

"There you go," Sam encourages as he sees Lizzy's breathing finally start to even out. He covers over her hand on his chest with his own and closes his fingers around hers. "See, you're fine."

"Thanks," Lizzy forces out between breaths while her head is still lowered. She sighs aloud with the relief as it spreads through her and she turns her hand around, her palm against Sam's, and holds tight. "Sam-I-Am, thank you."

Dean reaches out to her, a hand cupping the side of her face and lifting it. She meets his eyes. "You back with us?"

"Yes," Lizzy returns. "I'm back, Hot Shot. Don't worry. Just temporary insanity."

"Well, you're allowed a moment of insanity on this one," he tells her with all honesty. "If you didn't lose your shit a little, I'd be concerned that you weren't human."

"Uh, I'm not," Lizzy huffs, recalling all that they'd just learned about her. "Or partially not at least."

"Yeah, don't remind me," he says back, holding a hand out to help her up.

"Sorry," she softly apologizes. She noticed how poorly Dean is taking the whole Nephilim link she has and she really should try and not bring it up if possible. He's had enough on his plate already.

"I know this is probably asking too much, but do you think you can handle taking us to your house?" Sam asks this with an empathetic look.

"I think so," Lizzy answers, brushing the dirt off her pants and standing tall. "I just need to get my head wrapped around all this. It just won't sink in, and seeing mom like that, and Louie with Sam… shit." Lizzy pauses to smile small up to Sam, happy he was able to help her like he did. Sam sheepishly smiles back but worries deep down if what he did was overstepping his bounds. Reeling Lizzy back in was Dean's job, but when he saw her in trouble he couldn't stop himself.

"I saw a shitty little Chevette across the street in that lot," Dean peers off in the distance. "I'll be right back." Dean quickly raises his eyebrows once and begins jogging in the direction of their intended transportation. Once he's gone, Lizzy finds herself staring at the brick school, specifically the third window in from the left.

"You really ok?" Sam checks on her after following her eye line and not finding what she's so fixated on.

"Not at all, dude," she responds in a faraway voice. "My mother is in there."

Sam keeps quiet, unsure of what to say.

"She was the best damn mother anyone could ever ask for," Lizzy tells him. "She didn't deserve what happened to her."

"Most of the people we lose don't," Sam tells her. "I wish you didn't have to go through this."

"Me too," Lizzy says, lingering on the window for just a few second more before turning back to him. "God damn it, Sam. This is…"

"Insane," Sam tries to finish for her.

"I was gonna say crazy."

"How about surreal?"

"Fucked up."

Sam lets out a small smile. "I like the last option."

"You know, I gave her that book," Lizzy changes the subject, her brain overloaded with all it just saw and switching from one topic to another. "I was obsessed with the Samantha series and made her read them. She loved them too."

It hurts just to look at her in the moment, her face addled with concern and body language still defeated from her panic attack. Seeing her so weak is not something Sam is used to. He hates it. Pulling an arm around her shoulders, he begins walking her out front to go meet Dean.

"You sure you can handle going home?" Sam asks down to her under his arm as they walk.

"I won't freak out again, if that's what you mean," Lizzy explains. "I got that out of my system for good."

"Ok, just…" Sam sighs. "If you need a break, or can't be in there, you gotta let us know."

"I'm fine, Sam. Shut up," Lizzy lightly returns, leaning her head against him and finding the comfort he's trying to give her.

"You really have been around us for too long," Sam tells her, hearing her words as if they'd come from Dean or his mouth instead.

"Far too long."

* * *

 


	4. Home Sweet Home

* * *

"This place is nice," Dean comments as the three look around the rather large and well-kept house.

"Dad did well for himself," Lizzy offhandedly remarks while her eyes wander around the house she hasn't seen in years. After her parents died here, Lizzy couldn't bring herself to step foot inside again. She had Lou pack up her most important items from her room the day after it happened and her uncle helped her sell off the property as soon as possible. But right now everything is just as she remembered it. Same furniture, same wall colors, same everything. It's once more the happy place she used to see it as.

Walking into the kitchen, Lizzy beelines for the calendar on the refrigerator. Any and everything they had going on was always written on it so that her mother could keep track of their lives. Her mother was also slightly neurotic about scheduling.

"Louie and my parents have a double date tonight," Lizzy announces while pointing to the day's date on the calendar that matched the newspaper Sam found earlier. October 24th. "They did this a lot. They'd share a sitter for Lou, Derek, and me and they'd head out for the night together. And then it looks like Mom and Brian are doing their coffee night tomorrow."

"Brian, like Lou's dad, Brian?" Sam asks, the name being very familiar to him.

"Yup. They used to work together a while back, before mom met dad even," Lizzy explains. "They went to the same college and used to work in the student center together. That's how our families became such good friends in the first place. They go grab coffee together about once a month to catch up."

"Your families really were close then," Sam comments while walking into the living room, scanning it for anything helpful when his sights fall on the family portrait on the wall. The people smiling back at him look so damn happy, so carefree. At least Lizzy got to experience this before it all went to shit for her. Then again, is it better to at one point have that good life and know what you're missing once it's gone, or is it better to never experience any of it at all? A whole different kind of blissful ignorance.

"Super close," Lizzy tells him, getting an idea. She opens a drawer under the kitchen counter by the phone and searches through the junk in it for the address book her mother kept there. "I never joked when I said that Lou was like my sister. She really was in all but blood… which might be a good thing at this point."

Dean watches her pull out the small book and flips quickly through the pages.

"What're you doing?" he wonders when she picks up the phone from its cradle on the wall.

"Planning ahead," Lizzy simply explains while dialing. "I'm getting us an in." She smiles up to him before talking to the person on the other line. "Hello, Mrs. Donovan. Is your daughter home? Lovely, could I speak to her please? Thank you."

Dean shrugs his shoulder with a confused face at her and Lizzy holds up her index finger, asking him to wait.

"Hi Christy, it's Cathy. How are you?" Lizzy asks with a slightly deepened version of her own voice. "That's good. So I hate to do this to you, but we have to cancel for tonight. I know it's last minute but something's come up. Oh, no it's nothing bad, just a conflict we can't get out of. I'll call you again soon to reschedule. Ok, that sounds good. Bye, Christy."

"What are you up to?" Dean questions as she returns the phone to its cradle.

"What better way to find more out about myself than babysit myself, right?" Lizzy asks as she walks down the hallway.

"Jesus, a little reckless don't you think?" Dean asks of her, Sam soon following the conversation having heard everything while in the other room.

"How are you gonna get past your parents?" Sam presses. "You look just like your mother… and little you."

"I'll figure it out," Lizzy tells them, plan already in place in her head, while stopping at the bottom of the stairs. She peers up to the second floor, her stomach churning at the sight. She doesn't move for a bit, just looking and contemplating silently.

"L?" Dean calls to her, seeing her conflict, and stands behind her, looking up and seeing what she sees. To him, it's just another staircase, but he knows to her it's much, much more. It's the path right to where her life was ruined, to where her family was destroyed.

"Yeah, I'm here," she tells them, eyes still angled up. "I… I don't think I can… go up there."

Sam and Dean exchange looks, knowing this situation was bound to get too heavy.

"Then don't," Dean tells her. "We'll go. You stay down here, find what you can."

Lizzy nods her agreement and Dean wraps his arms around her shoulders from behind her. He can feel her shaking and he once again worries about her ability to get through everything. "If you need me, I'm just upstairs," Dean whispers into her ear, trying to comfort her as much as he can. "I'm back down here in a second. You just say the word."

"I know," Lizzy whispers back, her hands coming up to grasp briefly on his forearms across her chest as she sighs. "I'm so glad you're here, Hot Shot. I woulda lost my shit by now if you weren't."

"Where else would I be?" Dean returns, kissing her cheek quickly before letting go. He takes absolute solace in her words, happy that he's still the one she needs the most. "Let's get this over with fast, Sammy." Dean starts taking the stairs two at a time and Sam follow him quickly.

Looking around, she takes in the surrounding first floor and thinks about where she should start. The nice living room on the other side of the house is calling to her and her feet are headed in that direction before she could stop them.

Walking into the pristine room that, as a kid, Lizzy was never allowed to play in, she stops at the old armoire her mother found up north at an antique dealer's shop. Taking tentative steps, Lizzy reaches out and slowly opens the top drawer. She knows she should be looking elsewhere for more important things at the moment, but she couldn't stop herself.

Sitting on the floor, Lizzy begins taking out the several large, leather-bound books inside the drawer and spreads them out on the floor, sighing heavily before looking through them.

* * *

Distracted completely. The little girl's room has Dean entranced. Surprisingly, the bright lilac colored walls, the massive mountain of stuffed animals on the bed, and the wooden vanity in the corner covered with makeup, specks of glitter, and hair accessories didn't make him run for the hills the second he saw them. They were part of Lizzy, who she is and who she was, and that is more than enough to get him to stick around. He snoops a little, not finding anything helpful at all, but keeps going anyways out of curiosity. It really is a once in a lifetime chance and he's not going to let it pass by.

The more he finds the more he learns about her and the more he learns about her the more he loves her. She was a TV addict even then, as her Alf, The Monkeys, and Punky Brewster posters would let on. She also already loved dance. The ballerina lamp, dance bag hanging off the doorknob, and pictures of her in dance costumes let him in on that fact. And then he spied the boom box in the corner on her desk.

Smiling as he makes his way, Dean presses play on the tape already in it as he takes a seat in the wooden chair draped with a sparkly blue boa. 'Higher Ground' by The Red Hot Chili Peppers plays loudly from the speakers. He proceeds to look through her cassettes piled randomly in a shoebox next to the stereo. Paula Abdul, Van Halen, New Kids on the Block, B52's, Guns N' Roses, Wilson Philips, CSN, Led Zeppelin… she listened to a variety even then. The handwriting on the homemade labels of some of the tapes is too good to be her first grade penmanship. Her father must have made her those. Good man, Dean thinks. If he ever had a kid, the first thing he'd share with him or her would be good music. He can just imagine how fun it'd be to listen to Led Zeppelin with his own child, or let them in on the greatness that is Metallica or AC/DC.

"Dean!" he hears Sam shout out over the music from the room next door. "Come here!"

Stopping the music and standing up to leave, Dean pauses for a quick second. He puts the Led Zeppelin tape in his back jean pocket before leaving. He isn't sure why he had to take it, but he did.

"What'd you find?" he asks while walking over to Sam. He finds his brother sitting with a scattering of pages all over the desk in the corner of Lizzy' parent's bedroom. The filing cabinet to Sam's right has both drawers wide open.

"Something big possibly," Sam explains. "Check this out." He holds out a paper for Dean to read.

"What is this?" Dean asks, not able to make heads or tails of what he's seeing.

"It's a college fund set up for Lizzy," Sam explains. "It's called a U fund. But check out the contributors."

"Catherine Noonan and… Brian Becker?" Dean's eyes grow wide as he shoots his sights over to Sam. "Lou's dad?"

"Yeah," Sam says returning the wide eyed look. "I had to pick the lock on the drawer this was in. Clearly this isn't supposed to be out in the open for some reason."

"Why would Lizzy's mom and Lou's dad set up a college fund together for her? That's weird." Dean's concern is obvious on his face.

"Really weird. But then I remembered what Cas was saying before he zapped our asses here. He mentioned that both Lizzy's parents were highly pumped with Nephelim blood…"

"But he kinda suggested that Paul wasn't," Dean finishes for Sam. "There's no fucking way, dude."

"I don't know, Dean. It doesn't look good."

"Son of a bitch," Dean looks away from the bearer of bad news to look out into the hall at the top of the staircase and washes a hand down his face with a heavy sigh. "As if this wasn't bad enough already."

"I know. This makes everything so much worse."

"Maybe Brian's just a good guy," Dean tries to explain away. "He wants to help a good kid into a bright future."

"You don't really think that," Sam calls him out.

"Not at all," Dean admits, looking back down at the statement in his hand with a heavy sigh. "We can't tell her yet."

"Not until we're a hundred percent sure," Sam tacks on, not wanting to burden Lizzy until absolutely necessary.

"That all you found?"

"Yeah," Sam says, reorganizing everything around him on the desk to put it back so that no one would know they'd been there. "Everything else is just bills and whatnot."

"Alright, you finish up here. I'll go check on L." Dean hands the paper back to Sam and heads down the stairs. He wants so badly to not know what he now knows. Everything is falling into place, why they're here and what it is they needed to discover. More than ever, Dean wishes there was a place to flee, somewhere far away to hide and escape, were no news can reach them and change their lives. No monsters, no contact with anyone else. Especially no revelations about who they were and how fucked their lives are. He'd give anything to protect her from all that keeps piling on top of her, but all he can do is stand by her side while it happens. He can't wash it away and make it disappear. He's never felt more helpless.

"L?" Dean calls out once he's down on the first floor.

"In here," her small, sad voice calls out to him from the other room. He follows the sound to find her on the carpeted floor of the living room surrounded by loose pictures and opened photo albums.

"Crap, L," Dean laments while walking towards her, seeing her tear streaked cheeks and slumped over body. He takes a seat behind her on the floor, a leg to each side of her frame that looks suddenly so small, and wraps his arms around her waist. "You shouldn't have looked at these." He drops his chin on her shoulder while scanning over the photos. Birthday parties, anniversaries, first days of just about everything, every happy moment in her life up until this point in time is displayed all around her on the floor.

"I know," Lizzy's higher than normal pitched voice answers. "Couldn't help it. I threw all this in storage once they died. I couldn't look at them anymore. God, I haven't seen some of these in years."

Dean reaches out in front of Lizzy to take up a photo of her mother and father sitting on a porch. Catherine has a long sundress on, her hair blowing with the breeze on a sunny day and toothy, wide smile in place. She's sitting on Paul's lap, his arms around her middle much like Dean's are to Lizzy's right now and they look beyond happy. They couldn't have been older than twenty-five at the time it was taken.

"She's beautiful," Dean tells Lizzy, holding the picture in front of them both to look at. "You really do look exactly like her."

"I got lucky," Lizzy laughs lightly through the tears.

"Nah,I did," Dean tells her in all honesty. Lizzy turns her head to look at him.

"You aren't scared now?" she asks him. "Of me?"

"Why would I be scared of you?" Dean wonders, taken aback by her question.

"I'm not who you thought I was," she says to him. "I'm not even all human, Dean. That doesn't make you want to run just a little?"

"Hell no," Dean answers back with conviction. "I will never be scared of you."

"I'm a little scared of me," she tells him.

"I know who you are, ok? You aren't some dick angel running around being a dick. You're Lizzy. My Lizzy. That won't ever change."

"Good," Lizzy answers softly while wiping her face. "Because there is no way I am getting through any of this angel shit without you."

His arms tighten around her. "Good thing I'm not going anywhere then."

Lizzy sighs in relief. She never actually thought he'd leave her, but the idea had popped up in her mind. It terrified her, just the thought of being without him when dealing with this.

"L, I hate to do this but we have to get outta here before school gets out," Dean warns quietly, knowing someone would be back sooner or later. "Come on. I'll help you put this all away."

Lizzy nods and starts packing everything up, Dean doing the same, but not before he takes the picture of Lizzy's parents and pockets it. He has no idea why he's become a sudden kleptomaniac, but something keeps pushing him to take things important to her.

* * *

 


	5. How to Make a Bad Day Better

* * *

After making Dean pull over at a payphone, Lizzy uses the change she swiped from the kitchen counter of her house to call her own home phone. She leaves a message while pretending to be her babysitter and explains that she had to cancel for tonight. She then says that since it was so last minute she's sending over a good friend of hers, assuring them that he's a great guy just trying to save for college. She promises that he is sweet with lots of babysitting experience. She then seals the deal by reminding them that the family has used Christy for years and hopefully will trust her judgment. That loose end now tied, she hangs up and jumps into the backseat of their borrowed car.

"What was that about?" Dean questions as she never explained herself before making the call.

"I left a message at home saying Christy had to cancel tonight," she says as if it was nothing while sliding over to the center of the backseat and leaning an elbow on each of the front seats.

"So your family has no one to watch the kids so they can't go out tonight… and they'll be home…" Sam rationalizes.

"Should make it easier to check out Lou's house then," Dean complains sarcastically as he pulls out onto the road again.

"Why would we need to check out Lou's house?" Lizzy asks with confusion. The men grow silent, not wanting to reveal their suspicions to Lizzy as to why they'd like to search Lou's place, or at least not yet.

"Just covering our bases," Dean explains away. "Didn't find much at your house, so we thought why not?"

"Well, I think I just need to talk to my former self a little bit. Maybe I knew more back then than I remember now. I got us an in, so relax." Lizzy is hopeful that getting to know herself as a kid can reveal something to her. If not, they might be at a loss. "I told them Christy is sending a friend to Lou's house in her place that has babysitting experience and is saving for college."

"L, you can't show up there!" Dean worries aloud as he jumps to conclusions. "Already told you that. You look too much like kid you and your mother. It's clear as day…"

"Oh, I'm not the babysitter," Lizzy assures him. "Sam-I-Am is."

"What!" Sam shouts out at her words, snapping around to face her with eyes wide in panic.

"It'll be fine. We were good kids, easy to watch." Lizzy smiles brightly to him while gripping his shoulder in the hopes that he'll relax and just go with it. "You deal with them for a little bit and Dean and I will come in to help once the parents are long gone."

"No way," Sam shakes his head as he looks back out the windshield. "Not doing that. Dean can go."

"No he can't," Lizzy explains. "No one would buy him as a babysitter."

"Why not?" Dean wonders, a little insulted.

"You look older than a kid saving for college," Lizzy explains. "And you don't exactly come off as the kid-friendly type."

"Kids freakin' love me!" Dean rebuts.

"I never saidyou  _weren't_  kid-friendly, I just said you don't  _look_  the part," Lizzy further tells him. "And Sam does."

"Lizzy, I can't do that," Sam tells her, looking down at his hands folded in his lap.

"Yes you can," Lizzy tries to brush off.

"No," Sam says again. "I can't." He turns his head towards Lizzy and looks to her with sad eyes. "It's Lou. I can't…"

Lizzy gets it immediately. He's nervous about being in the presence of Lou. Lizzy moves behind Sam's seat and wraps her arms around it and his neck, her cheek pressed against his.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Lizzy apologizes, trying to get back on his good side to get him to agree to her plan. "I should have talked to you first."

San nods his head but doesn't look up.

"But I need you on this one," Lizzy tells him. "I can't do it and you're the most believable. Dean and I will get in there as soon as we can. You won't be alone for long."

"It's still her though," Sam says, his heart still heavy from watching her earlier that day. "I miss her too much to see her again, like this. She's innocent and doesn't know…."

"I know," Lizzy remarks. "But I'm gonna look at this a different way. I miss Louie so fucking much. This is an opportunity to talk to her again, to have her back. I want to take advantage of that. I don't care what age she is, she's still my Lou."

Sam nods again instead of verbally agree, the lump in his throat making him give pause.

"So think of it as getting her back, just for a little bit. There's so much to her that you never got to know and I think this will be a good chance for you to learn more about who she was."

Sam huffs quietly, a smile tugging at his lips all the while, and finds some kind of solace in her words. He is curious about her still and he has to admit it is quite the unique opportunity.

"Ok," Sam agrees hesitantly, already regretting it. "I'll do it."

"Thank you," Lizzy smiles and kisses Sam's cheek. Lizzy sits back in her seat, relieved that she still has a way into Lou's house and a way to speak to her younger version. Something made Cas bring them here and she has to find out.

"So, no money and no roof," Dean changes the subject abruptly. "Any suggestions?"

"I have an idea," Lizzy pipes in. "Head back to my neighborhood."

* * *

"Oh, this will do just nicely," Dean comments as he walks into the large master bedroom of the sparkling, new show house. The neighborhood Lizzy used to live in was still expanding at this time so there were several houses that were recently built and on the market just down the street. As fortune would have it, many were very much empty. It was a squatter's paradise. Lizzy told them to go with the one farthest off the main road that ran through the heart of the neighborhood to keep them out of sight and they parked the stolen car in the garage to keep it hidden. They found themselves in luck when they went inside and discovered that the electric had been turned on and there were random pieces of furniture inside to make the place more welcoming to potential buyers.

Lizzy stands in the doorway to scan the room and watches Dean dive onto the king sized bed giddily. She can't help but smile a little at the display. Very rarely was their temporary housing so nice, clean, and comforting. Dean's now much like a little kid in a candy story.

"Ah," he lets out as he leans back onto the cushy decorative pillows with his hands behind his head. "I could get used to this way too easily."

"Well don't," Lizzy warns, knowing it'll be back to fleabag motels soon enough.

"New mattress, L. Wanna help me break it in?" Dean asks her while wagging his eyebrows, doing his best to lighten things up for her. This has become a regular thing for them; whenever life got bad, really bad, they escaped into each other. Humor is always a quick fix, as is sex. Here, Dean not-so-subtly tries to combine the two.

"Maybe later," Lizzy rolls her eyes despite the corners of her mouth turning up slightly. She stands with her hands on her hips and watches him from the edge of the bed.

"Come on," Dean slyly and exaggeratedly beckons while bouncing up and down on the springy mattress. "You know you wanna." He smiles wide while knowing just how ridiculous he looks.

"You look like a little kid that has to pee," Lizzy says with an actual smile, something she only assumed she wouldn't be able to do today. Thank God for him.

"How 'bout this then," he asks while flipping over onto all fours and obscenely starts humping the bed. "You like that?"

"Mmm, love it," Lizzy lets out in a laugh, an honest to God laugh, with the display. "I think my goofiness is finally wearing off on your ass."

"This could be you, you know." He nods downward to the comforter below him.

"Ooh, if I could only be so lucky," she exaggeratedly says and continues to laugh. "You're fucking crazy."

"I'll be anything if I can get you to laugh right now," Dean tells her with a smirk, not stopping his miming.

"Hey, Dean. Do you… dude!" Sam blurts suddenly while rounding the corner to catch his brother's shenanigans. "What the hell are you doing?"

Lizzy laughs even louder at Sam's reaction. Dean pauses and looks over his shoulder to his brother in the doorway behind him, still on all fours.

"You just gonna stand there and make a guy wait, Sammy?" Dean asks with a serious face.

"I'll try again later," Sam remarks and simply turns on his heels to walk away instead of play into his brother's antics.

"And you'd think he'd be used to that kinda shit from you by now," Lizzy quips as Dean reaches out to her and pulls her arm, getting her to join him on the bed. They settle in with their backs against the headboard, Dean's arm around her shoulders.

"You're gonna be ok through this, you know?" Dean tells her. "You're pretty much the strongest broad I know."

"Aw, thanks kid," Lizzy jests with a fake yet proud punch to Dean's jaw. He pretends that his head rolls to the side with the mimed hit.

"Seriously though, you're gonna get through this. If anyone can handle it, it's you." Boy does he hope that's true. For now he keeps the new information Sam stumbled upon hidden from her but he worries about how she'll take it when she finds out.

"I'm doing what I can," she tells him, fiddling with the pendant around his neck and leaning her head on his shoulder. "And I have you and Sam here to help."

"Very true," he adds on.

"I think slowly I'm beginning to accept things." Lizzy looks up at him. "I'm an angel blood pumping warrior created solely for fucking your brains out and being a deciding factor in the Apocalypse. Oh, and I've been sent back in time to follow my own badass self. No biggie."

"Not when you put it that way," Dean says sarcastically, tightening his arm around her as she returns her head to his shoulder. "Fuck it, we'll figure it out. We always do."

"Yes we do."

The two sit quietly for a moment, taking in the silence aside from Sam's movements downstairs and the calming effect of just being near the other. It's nice.

"When was the last time we just sat like this?" Dean asks.

"Never," Lizzy quickly answer. "Free seconds like this we're usually fucking by now."

"Yeah. That's true," Dean says with a fond smile. He looks down at her with hopeful eyes. "Wanna change that?"

"Right now?" Lizzy asks with surprise. With everything going it seemed like the most inappropriate timing for sex. But then again, this day did suck. And they had a bed, in a room, with a door to it, alone. That never happened when out on the road.

"Why not?" Dean shrugs. "You could probably use it. I know I could."

"You could always use some sex," Lizzy huffs with a grin.

"And who are you to talk, huh?" Dean reminds her. She was just as bad as he was.

"That's very true," Lizzy returns, a hand landing on Dean's jaw as she sits up and turns to face him. She really wouldn't mind the chance to forget the shittiness of the day, even if it's just a temporary distraction. "And I am  _awful_  stressed." She kisses him slowly, lips dragging painstakingly across his.

"You know, you seemed it," Dean says against her lips before grabbing her waist and pulling her into his lap.

"I think… you're right," Lizzy playfully says, never detaching herself from him. "I  _could_  use this."

"Fucking A," Dean responds, hands pulling her in by the back of her neck and deepening their kiss.

"You know what else I could use?" Lizzy whispers.

"What?" Dean happily asks, knowing her answer will be great. She always knows the right things to say to get him going.

"I could really use that big, hard co…"

"Dean?" Sam's voice is heard at the bottom of the stairs. "You two decent up there?"

"Son of a bitch," Dean angrily curses under his breathe while quickly lifting Lizzy off of him and putting her back in her seat next to him. "Yeah!" Dean sits up tall and adjusts himself.

"Good," Sam says while climbing the stairs again. As they hear his feet hit every step, Lizzy and Dean try to appear as casual and nonchalant as possible. Lizzy yanks one of the pillows out from under herself and plops it onto Dean's to hide the evidence of what their activities had done to him. He gives her a smile at her quick thinking.

"It got suspiciously quiet so I thought I should make sure before I came up," Sam announces as he reaches the second floor hallway and enters the bedroom. He takes in the sight of them acting a little too cool and gets it right away. "Suspicions confirmed."

"What do you want, Sam?" Dean asks, impatient to find out what his brother so badly needed.

"I think we need to go out and get some food and then find whatever supplies are easy to come by before we go all Babysitter's Club."

"I loved those books…" Lizzy offhandedly remarks.

"Fin, sounds good," Dean begrudgingly agrees.

"I've got a couple twenties in my wallet we can stretch," Sam adds in.

"I'm sure in 1990 a couple twenties will get us plenty," Dean returns. "I'll be down in a few."

"Ok," Sam says, shooting them both a warning glance. "Hurry up, I need to be at Lou's in an hour and a half."

"Sam, we'll be down in like two minutes," Lizzy says to him.

Sam glances down at the pillow in Dean's lap and back up to his eyes before huffing a laugh at his brother's transparency while leaving them.

"Bitch," Dean grumbles after him before turning his focus back to Lizzy. "C'mon, you can be our tour guide around town."

"You need a minute there?" Lizzy grins slyly, nodding down to the pillow in his lap.

"Nothing a short trip to the bathroom can't fix," Dean sadly informs her, standing up to head out of the room to take care of his situation.

"Aw, no," Lizzy coos. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," Dean tells her with a knowing look. "You know what you do to me, especially when you start to talk dirty like that. It's all your fault, really."

"No way," Lizzy tells him, standing quickly and rushing to the doorway to block him. "So not letting you jerk off in the bathroom right now."

"Sam's right, we have to get going," Dean tells her with a shrug. "No time."

Lizzy looks up at him and grins, shutting the door behind her. She then grabs his hand and walks over to the bureau. She stands with her back to the furniture and pulls him in front of her. She grasps his belt buckle, swiftly opening it. "And that's why they call them quickies, dumb-dumb. They're quick."

"Seriously?" Dean asks with wide eyes.

"Seriously," Lizzy confirms with a smile.

“Yes,” Dean celebrates before attacking her lips with his own and not letting her take the time to change her mind.  In a few quick seconds, he has Lizzy’s pants open and he’s pushing them to the floor.  She pulls her lips away from his and smiles up at him while kicking out of her boots and dropping her jeans.  Dean copies her, losing his boots, pants, and boxer briefs.  Once Lizzy steps out of her underwear she hops up onto the bureau, sitting right at the edge.  She tightly fists his shift and pulls him closer to stand between her legs. 

Silently, Lizzy stares him down while grabbing his hand and bringing it to her mouth.  She licks a slow, wet trail from the base of his palm to the tips of his fingers, grinning evilly when she’s done.  As Dean watches her a low growl escapes from this throat.  If she’s trying to make this quick she’s doing a hell of a job as he finds himself dying to be inside of her already.

Lizzy grabs Dean by the back of the neck, pulling him down to kiss her again as he runs his now slicked hand over his length.  Once ready, he slowly pushes inside of her, making her hum quietly with the feeling.

“I so needed this,” Lizzy whispers, keeping her volume down in the quiet house.  She needs to feel good today so very badly.

Dean grabs her waist just above her hips on each side and pulls her in sharply, making her whimper with the abrupt movement.  Smiling down at her, her eyes already heavily lidded, Dean begins thrusting in and out of her at a determined pace.  Lizzy’s breathing quickly picks up as she reaches up and gasps onto his shoulders.  They make eye contact for just a second before she runs a hand along his jaw and pulls him into a heated kiss as she moans quietly into his mouth.

As quick as this is supposed to be, Dean has never been able to give up on getting Lizzy to her own satisfying end.  It’s just not something he’s able to do.  Letting go of one of her hips, he snakes his hand between their bodies and down between her legs.  Pressing small circles into her, Lizzy inhales sharply with the added gratifying change.  Her hands tighten their grasp on him.  Biting her lip, she does what she can to keep quiet despite it getting harder and harder to do so.

“Oh God,” Lizzy quietly says as the mounting pleasure keeps building.  “Oh shit.”

Dean brings his lips back to hers to quiet her down.  She wasn’t exactly a quiet women when it came to sex and he knows it.  Even with lips attached, her elevated moans still escape.  God damn she sounds beautiful in times like these and as much as he doesn’t want to stop her, he knows he has to.  They’re under a time crunch and hearing Sam bitch about wasting time for a quick fuck wasn’t at the top of his to-do list today. 

Dean stands tall again and pulls his hand off of her to press a palm across her mouth to keep her voice muffled.  Lizzy’s eye grow wide, at first taken aback by his restraining her, but soon finding it a big turn on.  There isn’t much sexier to her than when Dean takes charge like this.  It’s all she needs to push her to her limit.  Against his hand Lizzy groans out her satisfaction as she succumbs to him, still trying her damnedest to keep quiet. 

Smiling wickedly down at her display, Dean takes back his hand and places it onto her free hip.  Holding tightly, he moves quickly towards his own end.  It was supposed to be a quickie after all.

Watching him after she’s returned to the world, Lizzy once more pulls Dean down by the back of his neck, this time not to kiss him.  She wants to help him along also and knows just how to do it.

“Do you have any idea how good that big fucking dick of yours feels?” Lizzy whispers into his ear, making Dean grit his teeth.  “How much I love it when you fuck me like this?”

“Oh fuck,” Dean whispers back.  Dirty talk.  She’s a master at it and practically kills him with it every time she gets going.

“And I know you like how my pussy feels,” she keeps talking.  “Don’t you?  You love when I spread my legs for you and take you deep inside me.”

“Holy shit,” Dean mutters, pressing his forehead to hers while slamming his eyelids shut.  He’s torn now, wanting so badly to let himself go but at the same time not wanting to so that he can listen to her more.  He knows she gets better and better the longer he holds out.

“Tell me,” she bids to him, looking up to his concentrated face with absolute amusement.  “Tell me how much you love being inside this pussy.”

“God, I love it,” Dean responds in his labored voice.

“Fuck me harder, baby.  Just how you know I like it.”

Picking up speed immediately, Dean pounds into her, Lizzy once again finding it hard to keep quiet as his movements begin feeling better and better once again.

“You make me such a little slut for you, Dean,” Lizzy tells him in a quiet yet carnal tone.  “Always needing you.  Always hungry for your cock.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, L,” Dean says a little too loudly.  Lizzy presses her index finger hard against his lips, shushing him.

“Now shut up and fuck me until you come,” she demands. 

Brain demolished, Dean lets go.  He buries his head in the junction of her neck and shoulder, biting down on her jacket lapel hard with his struggle to stay quiet.  Lizzy holds him into her, her legs locking around him as he goes through his climax.  Soon enough, he’s a heavy breathing mess leaning his weight into her as he recuperates.

“Holy hell,” Dean pants into her clothing and she laughs. He lifts his head to look her in the eye, satisfied smile in place.  “The things that come out of your mouth sometimes, L.  Fuck.”

“Funny, I always thought you liked the things that go _into_ my mouth more,” Lizzy grins slyly.

Dean stands tall, backing slightly away from her, and shakes his head while looking down at the woman he loves as she grins proudly.  “Just when I think life sucks more than I previously thought possible, you go and do something like that…”

“And totally redeem myself!” Lizzy shouts jokingly.

“No, Lloyd.  You remind me that life ain’t that bad.”

She laughs at him while sitting up on the bureau.  “Just trying to keep you happy, baby,” she winks before hopping down from her seat to grab her clothes. 

“You’re doing a hell of a job,” Dean informs her while beginning to get dressed.  “And you’re doing a bang up job of contradicting that angel label that’s been put on you.”

“You don’t think I’m an angel?”  She exaggeratedly pouts over to him while pulling on her pants.

“You’re definitely what I’d _like_ angels to be like,” he smirks.  “I just don’t think actual angels ever talk like that.”

“Hey, maybe I’m part demon too then, huh?” Lizzy joking asks, getting an annoyed face in return.

“Don’t say that,” Dean says flatly.  “Not funny.”

Lizzy shrugs while tying her boots.  “It’s kinda funny.”

“No it’s not,” Dean repeats, the idea of her being any less human scaring the shit out of him.  He’s already concerned enough.  She’s Lizzy, not some angel and most definitely not a demon.  At least that’s what he keeps telling himself.

“Let’s get outta here before the bitch face comes out in full force, huh?” Lizzy suggests.

Dean scrunches his face at the thought and turns to head out of the room, feeling her hand land hard on his ass as he does.  He turns and silently issues her a warning, his index finger pointed her way accusingly with a mock angry face.  She sticks her tongue out at him and they leave the room, hoping while descending down the stairs that Sam didn’t hear anything and he isn’t pissed all the while.

* * *

 


	6. Sam: Babysitter Extraordinaire

* * *

"You can do this," Sam whispers to himself, glancing once more over his shoulder to the craptastic stolen car of theirs parked on the side of the road about five houses away. He sees Dean's arm rise out of the driver's side window to give a thumbs up and Sam rolls his eyes. This sucks.

Turning back to the front door of Lou's childhood home, Sam raises a fist to knock on the door and pauses. His arm shakes with nerves but he forces himself to knock three times. Once it's done he drops his arm, stands a little taller, and panics on the inside when the door cracks open.

"Hello!" a smiling woman greets warmly as she looks at him. "You must be Sam!"

"H-hi," Sam nervously smiles back.

"Damn, you're tall," she comments, looking up at his height.

"Yeah," he huffs back, unsure of what to say. "So I've been told."

"You make me look like a midget!" she laughs, standing at only about five feet. "Come on in."

She stands aside, letting Sam into the house. Looking around he realizes it's the exact same layout as Lizzy's house but it looks completely different. There's stuff everywhere. Books, toys, school bags, it's a cluttered mess.

"Sorry, didn't pick up today," she excuses. "The kids were making me nuts after school and I never got the chance."

"Kids tend to do that," Sam brushes off. "It's fine."

"I'm Jane, by the way," she holds her hand out to him.

"Nice to meet you," Sam smiles back and shakes her hand while really looking at her. Blue eyes and blond hair; this must be where Lou got them from. Other than that, he doesn't see much of a family resemblance. Then Brian walked into the room.

"Hi there," the man calls out while walking over with his hand out. "I'm Brian."

"Sam," he greets and shakes another hand. There it is. Despite the darker coloring, he has Lou's nose, her eye shape, her entire bone structure. She looked just like her father.

"We're so glad you could come," Brian explains. "We have reservations to this great little place a few towns over and we'd hate to miss them."

"You ever been to Ronaldo's?" Jane asks.

"Nah," Sam smiles back. "Can't say that I have."

"I hear it's great," Jane smiles.

"Well, there's money on the table for pizza. Emergency numbers are on the fridge," Brian explains while pointing into the kitchen from where they're standing in the hallway. "The kids shouldn't be too bad. Derek usually just plays with his Legos and Lou will have Lizzy so they'll be plenty occupied."

"Just keep an eye on them," Jane warns. "They tend to get themselves into trouble with a lack of supervision."

"I can only imagine," Sam remarks, assuming the two girls are a lot like the two women they turned out to be. Jane and Brian look at Sam questioningly with his comment. Right, he's not supposed to know them yet. "I mean, um, Christy already warned me about them a little. Said they were great kids, just kinda high energy." What a save!

"Well she certainly got that right," Brian agrees as they hear the side door opening.

"We're here!" a small girls voice shouts out as a young Lizzy rounds the corner and nearly plows right into Sam. She stops in her tracks and looks straight up to him with a scrunched up face. "Who are you?" she wonders loudly.

"That's Sam, remember?" Cathy tells her as she joins the group with Paul. "Christy couldn't make it."

"Oh yeah," Lizzy recalls as she immediately changes her focus. Looking up the staircase she bellows out, "Louie!"

"Lizzy!" they hear another voice shout back. "I'm up here!"

With that Lizzy is pounding her feet up the stairs as fast as they will take her, hauling her sleeping bag and backpack along.

"Wow," Sam remarks with a grin after seeing how excited Lizzy was to hang out with Lou… which she already did at school and all afternoon. They never changed one bit.

"Yeah, you'll get used to it," Jane laughs off while dropping a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Anything else you need?"

"Nah, I think I can manage," Sam answers.

"Alright, we'll be back around ten or ten-thirty I'd say," Paul explains. "It is still a school night after all, right teach?" He jokingly elbows Cathy, earning a fake scowl in return.

"Sounds good," Sam tells them. "Go have fun."

"Will do," Brain grins as he ushers the group outside to leave. Once he's left as the only adult in the house, Sam sighs in relief. Tough part one, done. Now he has to go get tough part two done; meeting Lou.

He begrudgingly climbs the stairs, listening to the girl's chatting voices going a mile a minute as he does. Once at the top of the stairs he peers into the bedroom at the end of the small hallway. He sees a boy sitting on the floor engrossed in his scattered Legos. Must be Derek. He looks like he'll be an easy kid to watch.

A few steps more and he's standing in the doorway of Lou's bedroom. The two girls are digging through a big pink toy box with what looks like frilly clothing, plastic jewelry, and sparkly accessories in it.

"Hi Sam!" Lizzy loudly greets when she sees him in the doorway. She smiles up to him, her front tooth missing, and Sam can't help but grin. Her smile, sans a tooth, is still the damn same. Lizzy never lost her youthful side, being goofy at times and always overly excitable. She's definitely brought a brightness to his and Dean's lives with her presence and now he gets to see that same brightness at its beginning.

"Hi," Lou says a little calmer. "Want to play dress up?"

Looking at her, studying her, he realizes how much he's missed her. Her eyes are so bright, just like every time she'd be excited over something or have good news to share with him when she was older. She also smiled just like she did when happy over just about anything. God damn, it was her through and through, no matter the age.

"Do you wanna?" Lizzy asks, breaking his train of thought with her excited question.

"Um, nah, that's ok," Sam declines as nicely as he can through a struggled voice, but regrets doing so the minute the two girls look at him disappointed. Their saddened faces melt his heart completely.

"Please?" Lou begs up to him, her blue eyes peering up hopefully as she walks over to him. "Christy always does." She takes his much larger hand with both of hers and tugs hard, attempting to pull him over to the box of princess outfits and accessories.

"No, no," Sam starts to more forcefully turn them down as Lou pulls him to the floor. "This stuff is for you guys. Plus, there's nothing my size in there. And… I'm a boy." He sits on the floor Indian-style between the two of them because what choice did he have at this point.

"But you have hair like a girl," Lizzy rebuts as she stands up and walks behind him with some hair elastics on her wrist. She pokes fun of him, just like adult Lizzy does. She uses her pink, glittery hairbrush and starts combing through his locks, studying and planning how she was going to go about his makeover.

"Thanks," Sam caustically returns as Lou joins Lizzy and suddenly Sam find himself at the mercy of two very determined little girls who were clearly going to get their way.

* * *

"You think he's ok so far?" Lizzy wonders aloud as she and Dean stand before the front door.

"I'm sure he's fine," Dean brushes off as he knocks.

"Yeah, you never saw Louie and me as kids. We ate babysitters for breakfast."

As soon as the statement leaves her mouth they hear a raucous scramble on the other side of the solid door. They recognize Sam's voice as it's warning and asking them not to answer the door themselves since they don't know who it could be. He already sounds frenzied as the two little girls start yelling and screaming to him to open the door and see who it is.

The door opens halfway and Dean busts out laughing immediately.

"Jerk," Sam responds, his hair in a multitude of ponytails and braids. Lizzy covers her mouth, trying to block the smile she can't stop from forming. "I hate you, by the way," Sam tells her with disdain as his arm gets pulled by an unseen force, jerking his upper body a little.

"Aw, no you don't," she grins. "You still love me."

"No I don't. I hate both of… well, you," Sam repeats as the girls pop their heads out the door.

"Hi!" little Lizzy nearly shouts, excited to see the new people at the door. "Who are you guys?"

"We're friends of Sam's," Dean says to both girls, now dressed in princess clothing. "I'm Jack. This is Elizabeth."

"That's my name!" young Lizzy shouts excitedly while jumping up and down.

"Small world," Elizabeth, as she is going to go by for the night, forces a smile. Her eyes are transfixed on the tiny Lou she remembers so well. She looks happy and healthy and just so good, just like she should.

"People call me Lizzy though," young Lizzy explains.

"You two mind if my friends come in and hang out too?" Sam checks in with the young girls.

"Sure!" Lou tells them, pushing the door all the way open to let them in. "We're gonna order pizza soon! You can have some!"

"Awesome," Dean comments as he steps inside and looks around, Elizabeth following after him.

"Elizabeth, do you paint nails?" Lizzy asks up to her, the little girl clearly attaching herself to the woman already based alone on sharing a name. "We did makeup and hair and clothes, but we need manicures."

"Sure," Elizabeth tells her, feeling the surreal experience becoming more and more comfortable as she stands in the house she knows as well as her own. She's always felt at ease in Lou's house and around Lou and that feeling comes right back when she steps inside the still happy household. This is turning out to be much less scary than she'd assumed it'd be.

"Louie! Elizabeth is gonna paint our nails!" Lizzy shouts out loudly, running up the stairs as she does to grab their supplies. Lou joins her quickly and for a few seconds the three hunters get some peace.

"I'm gonna get you off the hook for a little bit I think," Elizabeth smiles to Sam.

"Thank you," Sam gratefully returns, already overrun by the small tornadoes.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean calls from behind him. Sam turns to look at him and is immediately greeted by Dean's phone in his face. With the click of a button, Dean has proof of Sam's embarrassing moment saved on his phone.

"Such a fucking ass, dude," Sam complains while reaching quickly out to snatch the phone from him, Dean sharply pulling it out of reach just in time.

"You think I'm just gonna let this golden opportunity go?" Dean asks incredulously. "Have we met?"

"You know, I always wondered what it would be like to be an only child," Sam remarks while looking to Elizabeth. "Seems like more fun."

"Wow, are you two aware that you revert to children the second you're around them?" Elizabeth comments while pulling Sam to sit on the couch. She begins taking out the girl's handiwork in his mop for him. "Hard to say no to us, isn't it?"

"Impossible," Sam complains. "You guys are cute and evil."

"Yes we were and it's a deadly combo. You shoulda seen the first babysitter we had. Let's just say after one night with us, she never came back."

"Oh you bad asses," Dean patronizes her, earning a joking glare back.

"Alright, I'm gonna do some manicures and talk to them, see if there's anything I can get outta them that I don't already know," Elizabeth explains while still working on Sam's hair. "Someone check on Derek and the other order pizza."

"I call pizza," Dean says quickly and Sam sighs.

"I already dealt with Thing One and Thing Two," Sam complains to Dean with annoyance. "You're turn."

"Nah, I already called it," Dean smirks while walking into the kitchen as Sam sulks a little in his seat.

"You better order at least one cheese," Elizabeth yells to him as footsteps are heard pounding down the stairs.

"Yes! Cheese pizza is the best pizza," little Lizzy confirms for them.

"It's the only one I like," Lou informs the group as they walk through the living room to sit at the kitchen table with their big box of nail supplies.

"It's the only kind any kid likes," Elizabeth remarks, knowing how true her statement is. She did enough babysitting in her own day to know that as fact.

"Ok then, one cheese, one sausage and pepperoni," Dean smiles as he reaches for the phone.

"Gross," Sam quietly says. Elizabeth laughs at the disagreement.

"De, ah, Jack!" Elizabeth quickly covers her mistake. "How about one cheese, one pepperoni? That makes everyone happy." Again, her babysitting experience is coming in handy. She knows how to get a solid compromise out of kids… or adult brothers for that matter.

"I thought this was my job?" Dean gripes to the group.

"Just order the pizza already, Jack," Lou complains exaggeratedly, much like she always did in her adult life, and Lizzy nods her head in total agreement while sitting next to her, much like Lizzy always did in her adult life. Dean shutters with the Twilight Zone version of the girls he knows already.

"Whatever," Dean grumbles after a second, knowing the two were going to somehow win anyways, and starts dialing the phone as he was told to.

* * *

 


	7. Family Portraits and a Giant Peach

* * *

A half hour later and the very random crew is huddled around the kitchen table, the kids on one side and adults on the other, eating dinner. Sam checked on Derek like he had to and built a few things out of Legos with the young kid. He found himself really enjoying his time with the quiet child who happens to be quite smart. Derek had a huge falling out with Lou over her decision to hunt later in life and didn't even attend their burial for her when she died. Sam could never understand how a sibling could be so disconnected with another and he still holds a grudge against Derek, a big one, but at the age of four it's hard to stay angry with the little guy when he hadn't done anything wrong yet.

Elizabeth laughs at the little girls as they awkwardly attempt to eat their slices with wet nails, fingers sticking out every which way as they hold their pizza. She wasn't able to get anything new out of them while they played beauty parlor, but she found herself having fun anyways. It felt good to have these carefree times back, even for just a little bit. Plus, just like her mother, she always had an easy way with kids and found them to be fun. They make her forget about adulthood temporarily and she welcomes that opportunity.

"Hey, Sam. Hit me," Dean requests of his brother while holding out his plate. Sam drops a new slice on it and Dean takes it back happily.

"We met a Sam today," Lizzy tells the group after hearing the name. "Except he goes by Sammy. He's a new kid. He's in second grade."

"Was he a nerd?" Dean asks with a mouthful of pizza, earning him a patented bitch-face from his brother.

"No," Lou says defensively to him with a narrow-eyed glare. "He was nice."

"Was he cute?" Elizabeth pushes with a grin.

"No!" Lou shouts, her cheeks growing rosy.

"Lou likes him," Lizzy casually admits while concentrating on her food, making her friend turn full-blown red.

"No I don't!" Lou shouts, whipping her head in Lizzy direction with an angered face.

"Yes you do!" Lizzy calls her out. "You told me at lunch you like him."

Under the table, Elizabeth grabs Sam's hand briefly, looking to him and hoping he's taking this moment for all that it is. The sad grin let her know he is. Sam's heart fills with the idea that Lou was talking about him way back when, already liking him.

"He was just nice to us," Lou tries to explain away. "That's all."

"Whatever Louie," Lizzy groans, knowing her friend is lying.

"And you're the one who keeps talking about his brother," Lou accuses. Dean's eyes grow wide as he looks happily and cockily over at Elizabeth.

"Yeah 'cause I think what he did at recess was cool, but I don't like him," Lizzy honestly answers as Elizabeth fights not to laugh.

"What?" Dean loudly asks her. "Why not?"

"He's too old."

She couldn't hold it back any longer. Elizabeth busts out laughing as Dean gives her the evil eye. Every now and then she picks on him for being over four years older than her and Lizzy's words resonate way too much with their relationship.

"What's funny?" Derek asks as he brings his oversized-for-him slice to him mouth.

"Nothing, never mind. So, I was thinking I wanna draw," Elizabeth announces to the group as her laughter subsides. "Anyone wanna draw with me after dinner?"

"I do!" Lizzy shouts excitedly.

"Me too," Derek says muffled by food.

"Nice," Elizabeth cheers. She's just found a way to possibly get into her former self's head a little more. Perfect.

"I'm gonna read," Lou informs them and Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"We get a cool babysitter and you want to read?" Lizzy complains to her friend while fixing the falling shoulder of her princess dress. "You're weird, Louie."

"What are you reading?" Sam questions the little girl.

"I'm reading an American Girl book," she informs him. "But with my dad I just started James and the Giant Peach."

"I love that book," Sam tells her in all honesty. He fondly remembers reading a lot of the twisted works of Roald Dahl when he was younger, James and the Giant Peach being one of his favorites. "I'll read some of it with you if your dad won't mind."

"You will!" Lou asks, eye wide and lit up with a hopeful and adorable grin. She must get whatever she wants all the time, Sam thinks. How would anyone say no to that? He never would be able to.

"Sure," Sam happily agrees.

"Once you're ready for bed first," Elizabeth adds in, remembering that as soon as Lou got to reading at night, she was bound to pass out. Unless coffee was involved, she'd need waking up during research before hunts now and then.

"Ok," Lou agrees with a shoulder shrug and goes back to eating pizza.

"How come you don't go by Lizzy?" Lizzy asks Elizabeth suddenly and without transition.

"Uh, I used to until very recently," she admits with absolute honesty. "But my best friend in the whole world called me Lizard."

"Lizard!" Lizzy shouts with a laugh. "That's funny! Louie!"

"I'm right here," Lou complains with sheer annoyance and a hand over her ear after her friend practically shouts into it.

"Call me Lizard from now on," Lizzy asks of her. "But only you, because you're my best friend."

"Ok," Lou once again easily agrees.

"Alright you three," Elizabeth announces once it appears the three are done eating. "Go get ready for bed. Pajamas and brush your teeth."

The table clears out and Elizabeth looks over to her men. "Not so bad, right?"

"No," Sam grins a little, finding the night easier than he thought it'd be.

"You get anything from them?" Dean asks as he takes one last bit from what's left of his slice.

"Not yet, but I have a plan."

"And that is?" Dean wonders.

"Kids draw everything in their lives," she explains. "And they draw everything exactly how they see it. If I can get me talking and then drawing, hopefully I can get something out of this."

"Good luck with that," Dean quips, assuming it'll be a tough task.

"So who's on toothbrush duty?" Elizabeth asks, looking between the two of them.

"Do they really need help with that?" Sam wonders aloud.

"Dude, Derek is only four. Of course he does," she explains. "And the girls need to be watched so that they actually do it at all. We used to skip brushing our teeth all the time."

"I'm on clean up," Sam claims a job quickly, looking to avoid any responsibility like the one Elizabeth is suggesting.

"Me too," Elizabeth calls out almost too fast to understand. She them looks over at Dean with wide eyes, mouth dropped open, and pointing as him with sheer elation.

"No fucking way," Dean refuses.

"Watch your language!" Elizabeth hisses for his swearing while the kids are around. "And you lost fair and square. Now get up there before things get too crazy."

As if on cue, Lizzy and Lou start giggling uncontrollably… and quite suspiciously.

"This is bullshit," Dean grumbles lowly as he shuffles his feet up the stairs. As Sam starts cleaning the kitchen Elizabeth slinks silently to the bottom of the staircase, standing there to listen. Her curiosity is absolutely killing her. She has to see how he handles this one.

"Alright you two," Dean says in his most intimidating voice when he gets to the bathroom door to see the girls laughing together. He stands tall with his hands on his hips. "Just brush your teeth and get it over with."

"We already did," Lizzy says back, guilt written all over her face.

"Why do I feel like that's a load of… crap?" Dean says, censoring himself quickly while lifting an eyebrow in skepticism.

"It's not, we swear!" Lou pleads with him, her body language stiff and unnatural.

"Then let me feel your toothbrushes," Dean demands of them, hand held out expectantly.

"What?" Lou asks, the worry in her voice clear as day.

"Why do you need feel our toothbrushes?" Lizzy questions with very clear alarm.

"Because, if you actually brushed your teeth, they'd still be wet. So lemme have 'em ladies." Dean shakes this held out hand and waits.

The pause in the conversation as Elizabeth listens in has her covering her mouth and trying everything she can not to laugh. He's got their numbers. He's pretty damn good.

"Fine," Lizzy gives in with an eye roll. "We'll brush our teeth."

"That's what I thought," Dean clearly grins out as he watches them prep their brushes. He then realizes that he is one person short. "Derek!"

Silence. Shit. Dean leaves the girls for a moment and walks to Derek's room, which is covered in scattered Legos. He finds Derek with his head through the short sleeve of his pajama t-shirt and struggling to get the item on.

"Dude, what did you do?" Dean questions as he moves to help the poor kid out. He pulls the shirt off his head and looks at the boy. "This right here," he points to the arm sleeve, "Is not for you head." He helps Derek into his shirt the right way. The little boy stops once his shirt is on correctly and smiles up at him

"Thanks," his little voice says up to Dean before running off to the bathroom. Dean stands there by himself for a second with his hands on his hips.

"Well that was just God damned adorable," he comments with a very straight face while following the little guy.

* * *

After the struggle for the brushed teeth had ended, Lizzy and Lou came flying down the stairs. Lizzy jumped into a chair at the table where Elizabeth had set out crayons and paper and Lou ran right for Sam, book in hand.

"Ready!" Lou smiles with her head angled straight up at him, holding out James and the Giant Peach for him to see. Sam grins and reaches down to her, picking up the small child and resting her on his hip.

"So am I," he tells her as they walk to the next room, nearly bumping into Dean on the way that has Derek over his shoulder, his bottom facing Sam as the kid laughs loudly behind Dean's back. The brothers share a tired and somewhat awkward grin before walking past each other.

Sam heads with Lou to the quiet, nicer living room on the other side of the house as Dean plops Derek into a chair at the table where the Lizzys are already drawing. Elizabeth grins to him like an idiot, loving seeing Dean like this. She always knew he'd be damn good with kids and seeing it first hand is great and oddly comforting.

"What are we drawing?" Dean asks the group as he sits next to Elizabeth.

"I'm drawing my family," Lizzy explains without looking up.

"Me too," Elizabeth tells Dean while nudging him with her shoulder.

"Done!" Lizzy announces and hands Elizabeth her picture. Elizabeth swaps their drawings and they each look them over.

"This is your family?" Lizzy incredulously asks Elizabeth when she gets a chance to look at her picture.

"Sure is," Elizabeth says, pointing at the people in it. "That's Sam, and me in the middle, and that's Jack."

"Where's your mom?" Lizzy wonders.

"She's not alive, honey," she explains. "Neither is my dad."

"That's sad," Lizzy tells her, handing the picture back. "I don't want my mom and dad to ever die."

"I know you don't," Elizabeth answers back with a shaky voice, running a hand through Lizzy's hair. "But sometimes things happen that you can't help. Sometimes they're bad things and other times they're good things."

"Like when we went to Disney?" Lizzy asks, giving an example of a good thing.

"Exactly," Elizabeth answers. "But I still have a family. Sam and Jack are my best friends in the whole world."

"Louie's my best friend!" Lizzy loudly exclaims.

"And she's close to you, just like family, right?" Elizabeth asks.

"Yup," Lizzy answers, already working more on her picture that she took back.

"Then she's family too," Elizabeth tells her younger self as Dean slides a folded piece of paper in front of her. She gives him a questioning look and Dean just nods at it in return, wanting her to look at it. Elizabeth unfolds the paper and reads.

_Will you go out with me?_

_Circle one_

_Yes_

_No_

_Maybe_

Elizabeth grins like a lovesick teen before shooting Dean a look that says how lame he is. She picks up a crayon, marks the paper, refolds it and passes it back.

Dean unfolds his note and takes a look. She's added a fourth option.

_Definitely… but only if you'll make out with me._

"Done," Dean jokes as he pockets the note before looking over to Derek's handiwork. "What're you drawing over there, dude?"

"Dinosaur," Derek explains as he scribbles a green blob in the center of the page.

"Nice," Dean answers, pulling over a new piece of paper. "I'm gonna draw a monster."

"Try not to make a real one, huh?" Elizabeth requests of him in whisper.

"Relax," Dean explains. "They don't know that wendigos are real."

* * *

"The two women and the small boy stood absolutely still on the grass underneath the tree, gazing up at this extraordinary fruit. James's little face was glowing with excitement, his eyes were as big and bright as two stars," Sam reads to Lou while on the couch. Once Sam had sat down, Lou climbed right onto him like she always did with her dad. For her it was no big deal, but it was awkward for Sam at first. He wonders if the little girl sitting in a stranger's lap like this is a bad or inappropriate thing, but once she was there he couldn't find a solid reason to move her. Sam lays his legs across the couch, his back against the arm, and Lou tucked into him, her back against his stomach. They both look at the pages of the book Sam holds out front of them.

"He could see the peach swelling larger and larger as clearly as if it were a balloon being blown up. In half a minute, it was the size of a melon! In another half-minute, it was twice as big again!"

"Dad says that I grow like that," Lou comments, her voice quiet. "He says me and Derek grow fast like weeds."

"You do," Sam agrees.

"But I feel like I'm gonna be little forever," she exasperatedly tells him and Sam can't stop the grin from coming.

"You might be right," Sam remarks, knowing she only made it to about five feet even.

"I like the way you read, Sam," Lou tells him.

"Oh yeah?" Sam huffs as he cranes his neck to see her face. "Why's that?"

"I don't know," Lou says, her small fingers running across the lines on the book's pages as if she's actually reading ahead. "You're just good at it." She looks up at him through her free-falling blond hair, her eyes hopeful and happy… and so small.

"Well, thank you," Sam grins back as he brushes some of her hair out of her face.

"You're welcome," she answers back, once more looking at the book in front of her and leaning a little more into Sam. His heart once more fills with love for this girl. He misses her terribly, the adult her, but the kid her has so much in common with the version he knows. She's questioning, smart, happy at times and tough at others, and she loves fiercely. Her best friend is her first priority even back then.

"I like you the best," Lou randomly tells Sam. "You're the nicest. And you like to read."

"That's very nice of you to say," Sam returns with sheer fondness. "And I promise not to tell Elizabeth and Jack you said that."

"Ok," Lou says back, pulling one of his hands off of the book with her two tiny ones. She makes him point a finger to the page and she drops her hand over his, pointing right along with him. "My dad reads like this with me so I can read along and get better."

"You can read some of this?" Sam incredulously asks the first grader. "Some of the words are kinda big."

"I know," Lou simply answers, ready to read along and learn, as Sam sighs with contentment before continuing.

"You're pretty smart, Lou" Sam tells her. "That's very impressive."

"Thank you," she says nonchalantly. "Can you read now?"

"I'd love to," Sam tells her, moving his finger along the page just as Lou asked him to. "'Just look at it growing!' Aunt Spiker cried. 'Will it ever stop!' Aunt Sponge shouted, waiving her fat arms and starting to dance around in circles…"

* * *

An hour later and Elizabeth and Dean have a nice pile of mementos to take home. Dean was given three monster pictures from Derek and a picture of a car from Lizzy that she made him when he mentioned he liked cars. He even has one from Elizabeth of the two of them holding hands surrounded by a heart. Lame, yes, but it was cute, even if Dean would never admit it. Elizabeth has a stack of drawings, all from Lizzy, that she now goes through.

"Who's that for?" Dean asks Lizzy when he notices a picture that she set off to the side.

"It's for the nice boy at school," Lizzy explains. "He helped me a recess today so I made him a thank you card."

"Dean?" Elizabeth asks.

"Yup."

"That's very nice of you," Elizabeth says before pointing to the drawing of a yellow dog she just finished. "Who's this?"

"That's Boggs," Lizzy tells her. "It's the dog I want for Christmas."

"Sox fan even then?" Dean quietly asks Elizabeth.

"It's a local sickness," she tells him before returning her attention to the pages she's been given. "You're asking for a dog?"

"Yup," Lizzy answers. "It's all I want."

"Do your parents want a dog?" Elizabeth questions. She remembers this fight well. For years she'd ask for a dog for every birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, whatever she could, and for years she never got one.

"No," Lizzy whines. "Dad says he's allergic."

"That sucks," Dean says to her as an elbow pokes him in the ribs. "I mean, that stinks."

"Yeah it does," Lizzy returns. "I want a dog so bad."

Elizabeth ends the conversation there. She knows how the story goes so she just drops it. She still at her age never had a dog, one of her many regrets in life. Flipping to the next page she sees a dancer in pink. The next is her teacher at school. The page after that gives Elizabeth pause, her stomach dropping into her shoes when she sees it.

"What's this?" Elizabeth asks with a concerned look as she slides the page between the two of them. Lizzy looks up for a quick second and answers quite calmly.

"That's Cassie," she tells her before diving back into her current work of art. With the sound of the name, Dean's head shoots up and looks over to Elizabeth. Their hearts pounding faster, Elizabeth turns away from Dean and back to her younger self.

"Tell me about him." Elizabeth listens as she and Dean look over the page, a shadowy figure of a man with obvious large black wings.

"He comes to say hi at night sometimes, when I'm sleeping," Lizzy explains.

"Does he scare you?" Dean wonders.

"Nope," Lizzy lightly responds, still working on her current picture.

"No?" Dean says surprised. "In this picture he looks a little scary."

"Yeah, but he's really nice," Lizzy assures them. "He makes me feel good to be around. He just checks in on me and makes sure I'm ok. Said I'm of import."

Elizabeth closes her eyes tightly with what Lizzy says. There's only one person, or being, that would say that. Castiel's been checking on her. As a kid. Her personal guardian angel. What the holy fuck?

"Do you even know what that means?" Dean asks her.

"Nope," Lizzy answers again. "Cassie just wants to make sure I'm happy."

"Happy?" Elizabeth asks. "Why?"

"He says I deserve it, like a reward."

Dean grabs Elizabeth's hand tightly, trying to convey so much to her silently; his support, understanding, sympathy, everything. That and he wants to keep her there, with him and not locked in her own mind that's speeding a mile a minute.

"Do you know why he's checking on you, kiddo?" Elizabeth questions, needing to find out all she can.

"He said I'm gonna grow up to be really strong and help out the world." Lizzy looks up from her page. "And I'm special and he's always gonna look after me."

"Ok," Dean nods his head slowly, Elizabeth's grip on him tightening. "And this is what he looks like? With big wings?"

"Yup," Lizzy responds before holding up her next picture. "Look, I made you another one!" She hands the picture to Dean who takes it with a shaky hand.

"A cheeseburger?" he questions her.

"Yeah, you like them don't you?" Lizzy asks in an already knowing tone.

"Love 'em," Dean answers flatly, his heart skipping a beat. "But how did you know I liked cheeseburgers?"

"I don't know," Lizzy says to him with a shrug. "Just did."

Dean gets an unnerved feeling and looks back to the first picture she made him of a car. It's black. It's big. It has four doors and a driver that vaguely looks like him through first-grade crayon scribbles with a passenger that has longer brown hair. He barely looked at it before when she gave it to him as he'd already been given many other pictures. Now he's highly alarmed.

"Why did you make me a black car?" Dean asks her, Elizabeth's eyes glazing over when she looks at the picture of the Impala.

"It's your car," Lizzy brushes off.

"And who's in the car?" Elizabeth wonders.

"That's Jack," she points to the driver before pointing to the passenger. "And that's Sam."

"Why did you put the two of us in the car together?" Dean wonders.

"Because you drive together all the time, silly," Lizzy says with obviousness as she slaps a hand to her forehead.

"How did you know that?" Elizabeth questions, horror taking hold of her.

"Just did," Lizzy casually says.

Sitting quietly for a quick second, Elizabeth's brain starts turning. "Draw something for Sam."

"Why?" Lizzy questions.

"Because he'll feel left out if you didn't," Dean explains, knowing what Elizabeth is up to. Lizzy easily tapped into Dean's head and she wants to see if she can do the same with others.

"Ok," Lizzy says, and grabs a new page. She sits for a beat and looks back to Dean. "What should I draw him?"

"You don't know?" Dean questions.

"Does he like cars too?" Lizzy asks, clearly not able to tap into Sam as she just did with Dean.

"Not really," Elizabeth informs her as she stands up. "Ok you two, I think it's time for bed."

The collective groan of disappointment from the two children is heard and Elizabeth shakes her head. She needs them to go to sleep and now. She's discovered enough and she needs to leave as soon as she can.

"No way is that gonna work," she tells the kids. "Come on, Dean will clean up while I get you two and Lou upstairs."

The children get down from their seats and start to follow Elizabeth but Lizzy stops suddenly. She turns back around and runs over to Dean. She jumps into his lap and gives him a big, tight hug around his neck. Shocked by this, Dean sits still for a beat before returning the embrace, his much larger arms wrapping around her small frame. It's weird to say the least, but he can't quite find it in him to pry her off. It was his Lizzy after all.

"Goodnight Dean," Lizzy whispers to him.

"You mean Jack," Dean corrects her, having given her a fake name after she already met a new Dean earlier that day.

"Sorry," Lizzy smiles. "Goodnight Jack."

She jumps off of his lap and runs up the stairs. His eyes meet Elizabeth's and sees the fright she has while she shakes her head with the shock of how connected they already are. Dean leans across the table and takes up the picture Lizzy made for the boy at school. The picture on it is of three people. The one in the middle is much taller than the other two with dark hair. Above him it says dad and the man is holding the hands of two boys, one with blond hair and a smile labeled 'Deen' and a shorter boy on the other side with longer blown hair and a straight line for a mouth labeled 'Sam'. Eyes meeting with sheer concern and terror, Elizabeth turns sharply away. The sooner she gets them all off to bed the sooner she can leave this mind-fuck.

"Alright Louie, bedtime," Elizabeth announces as she turns the corner into the living room. She stops herself in the doorway when she sees them.

Sam and Lou both fell asleep. Lou is curled up sideways against Sam's chest and Sam has an arm around her, the other still clutching the book they'd been reading. The peaceful scene is too much for her to see. Covering her hand over her heart with the pain she feels in it, her eyes overflow silently. The tears are unstoppable at this point. Everything becomes too overwhelming to bear any longer.

"Dean," she calls out just loud enough for him to hear. He immediately joins her.

"Hey," he softly calls to her as he sees her crying. He hugs her in. "You were doing so good. What happened?"

Elizabeth silently points over to Sam and Lou on the couch and Dean sees them for the first time. His expression changes from concern to defeat. This trip can't possibly get any harder than it already has been on them.

"You go clean up the kitchen. I'll tuck the brats in. Then we'll leave," Dean tells her. He lifts her face to look at him by the chin. "Ok?"

Elizabeth nods and Dean gives her a quick kiss on the lips before running up the stairs to get the kids to bed as fast as possible. He has to get her out of there before she loses it again.

* * *

 


	8. Saying Goodnight

* * *

Dean and Lizzy left Sam asleep on the couch when they left the house. Maybe it was a bad idea, risking letting an unknowing person wake the hunter later, but it didn't matter. He looks so happy, so calm that neither had it in them to ruin the moment for Sam.

Once Lizzy and Derek were asleep, the two awake babysitters decided to leave for adult Lizzy's sake. They're sitting in their little stolen car, listening to music quietly and waiting for Lou's parents to get back so they can get Sam and drive home. Now out of the house, Lizzy finds it easier to cope with all she just went through and discovered. After she talked to her little self and found out more, Lou's home was suddenly overwhelming to be in. Sitting in the passenger seat, she's finally been able to breathe again.

"Ok," Lizzy speaks up after sitting quietly for some time. She turns down the volume on 'Satisfaction' so they can talk. "Truth… I'm officially scared now."

Dean nods his head. "You and I both."

"This angel thing didn't worry me so much before. It never made me panic or be scared in the least, but now… this is fucking big, Dean."

"I know," he returns, pulling her hand into his lap and clutching it tightly in both of his own.

"This goes back my whole life," Lizzy worries. "I've been followed and looked after. I was told I was important. Cas was…. fuck. What am I going to do?" Lizzy looks at him with scared eyes, making Dean hurt for her completely.

"We," Dean corrects for her, eliciting one very small, almost invisible smile from her.

"What are we going to do?" Lizzy fixes her question.

"Talk to Cas," Dean explains. "I'm getting the feeling he's the only one with answers that's willing to give 'em."

"And until Cas comes for us?" Lizzy further implores.

"We keep following you," Dean tells her straight up. Looking away, Lizzy sighs loudly. "L, I know you don't want to and I know you've already seen and learned way too much, but we have to. You know we do."

"Yeah," Lizzy frustratingly says back. "I just have to wonder how much more I'm supposed to take of this."

"You have backup, L," he reminds her. "We're still with you all the way."

"Thank God… or fuck that, thank luck," Lizzy responds, no longer liking the sound of God's name after all this. "Damn it, Dean, I'm… I'm a freak."

"You're not a freak," Dean tells her sternly, much like he's told Sam several times in the past.

"Yes I am," she returns with certainty. "I can sense angels and I've had one up my ass my whole life. That's pretty freakish to me."

"Still not a freak," Dean repeats, much quieter this time, though deep down he isn't sure that she's not. It just frightens him too much to really consider that the angels might have some kind of hold on her, that they might have a claim to her. "You're still just Lizzy."

"You don't believe that."

Dean lowers her eyebrows and looks at her. "Yes I do."

"No you don't," she matter-of-factly rebuts. "I know for certain you're worried that I might not be just Lizzy. You're scared, Dean. Admit it."

"And once again, you're inside my fucking head."

"I'm always inside your head," Lizzy tells him. "Apparently, even as a kid."

"Ah, yeah. What the fuck was that about?" Dean asks her. "How did you as a kid know about my car and that I like cheeseburgers?"

"Fuck me if I know," Lizzy laments before realizing what she's just said. Dean opens his mouth to make an inappropriate comment but she holds her hand out to stop him. "Don't."

"She… you… called me Dean you know," he informs her. "When kid you said goodnight, she called me Dean. I think she knows who I am."

"My head hurts all over again," Lizzy complains as she drops her head. "So clearly I have some freakish link to both you AND angels. Ha, maybe you're part angel too then."

"Then why can't you read Sam like you can read me?" Dean challenges. "He has the same blood as I do… almost."

"Good point," Lizzy gives in, knowing he's right. "Plus, you'd never be considered an angel… ever."

"Watch it, L," Dean jests lightly with her harmless insult. She's right anyways.

Lizzy leans her head back in her seat frustrated while staring up at the ceiling of the car. "I want to go back," Lizzy says. "I want to just be a hunter again, traveling around, eating shitty food and putting down the ghost of the week."

"Wouldn't that be nice," Dean agrees completely. The simplicity of their old lives sounds great right about now. No angels, no God, no Apocalypse. Just random evil to kill and lives to save. Black and white, clean cut, not messy.

"I'm just really glad I have you with me," she says while looking over at Dean, his green eyes meeting hers. "I really need you right now."

Dean tightens his grip on her hand. Even if she said this kind of thing all the time, he's never once gotten sick of hearing it. It makes him feel good and good isn't something he comes across often. They sit together in silence, appreciating that no matter what they had each other, and wait for Lou and Lizzy's parents to return.

* * *

The small weight resting against his chest is lifted off of him gently, waking Sam from his deep and surprisingly peaceful sleep. Normally he'd be in attack mode immediately, but the second he hears her small voice, he knows where he is and that he's very safe.

"Hi daddy," Lou's young, sleepy voice greets as Sam opens his eyes.

"Hey Lou-Lou," Brian softly returns, hoisting her up and onto him as he stands back up. "Go back to sleep, honey."

Lou instantly snuggles into her father, her small arms reaching around his neck and her cheek pressed to his shoulder. Sam misses her already and feels a piece of him is gone the second she's no longer sitting with him. It hurts. A lot.

"Jane has your money," Brian whispers to Sam. "Thanks so much for coming, Sam. Really saved our asses."

"Yeah," Sam responds quietly. "No problem." He can't stop looking at her resting face, so perfect and small, so tranquil and carefree. If he didn't have his wits about him already, he'd be reaching out to take her, wanting his Lou back so badly it aches.

Brian heads up the stairs to put Lou to bed and Sam feels the loss of her the second she's out of sight.

"Here," Jane offers with an extended hand as she walks into the room. She has his money for him in her hand. Sam slowly takes it from her, guilt coating his actions. He knows he shouldn't take money from Lou's parents, but if he didn't it'd be suspicious. Well, on the bright side the hunters have money to eat tomorrow.

"Thanks," Sam says. "Do you need help getting Lizzy back home?"

"Nah," Jane tells him, holding out her now empty hand to Sam. He takes it and lets her help hoist him off the couch. "She'll just stay here for the night, its fine. You need a ride?"

"No, um, I can walk," Sam explains away while walking to the front door. He pauses at the bottom of the stairs, looking up and realizing how unprepared he is to leave.

"You live in the neighborhood?" Jane asks with surprise, Sam confirming her question with a nod. "Well, we're gonna have to call you again whenever Christy is busy. Looks like you did a hell of a job with the kids, and they're not easy."

"They weren't so bad," he rebuts. "They were fun."

"Now I know you're lying to me," Jane smiles up to him. "Thanks again for coming, Sam. We really appreciate it." Sam turns to look at her and sees that she's holding the door open for him. Sam gets the hint.

"Yeah, anytime," Sam says back and walks through the door.

"Goodnight," Jane smiles to him one last time and shuts the door, leaving him alone in the near silent October night. He sees the small car waiting for him a few houses down and begins walking, looking back once at the house that brought him back to her, even if it was for only a few hours.

He pulls open the back door of the Chevelle and heavily plops himself down onto the backseat. Sighing once he slams the door shut, Sam sits back in his seat and looks out the window to the house he just came from. The car remains silent at first, no one willing to start the conversation after the night they'd had.

"You shouldn't have let me fall asleep," Sam almost too quietly to hear tells Dean and Lizzy.

"I didn't have the heart to wake you," Lizzy admits in a small voice. Dean turns around to look at his little brother, clearly hurting, but he doesn't say anything. What can anyone say to make this better anyways?

Sam doesn't respond, just stays silent as Dean starts the car for their short drive up the street.

* * *

The rest of the night was a quiet one. Sam barely said another word. He just moped around for a little bit before going to bed early. The retreat of sleep was calling him, his brain overthinking his experience with past Lou too much while awake. Lizzy and Dean followed soon after, both exhausted by the night with the three kids and the emotional rollercoaster that came with it.

Halfway through the night Lizzy is still wide awake. She's tried so hard to fall asleep but no matter what, she can't. The image of Sam asleep with little Lou in his lap haunts her ever second. She can't seem to get past it.

Slowly and carefully, Lizzy rolls out of bed. She takes her time to ensure that Dean won't wake up. He can't make what's hurting her better this time. He doesn't understand, not quite like Sam does.

Creeping quietly down the hall of their borrowed house, Lizzy comes to a stop in front of the room Sam is occupying. Pushing the door slowly open, she peers in.

"I'm up," Sam's voice informs her after hearing the door open and Lizzy stops trying to be quiet.

"I can't sleep either," she informs him while pushing the door all the way open and leaning into the frame of the doorway. Sam is on his side, head resting on the uncomfortable decorative pillow and looking at her. "Sam, I miss her so much."

"Me too."

Crossing her arms over her chest with hunched shoulders, she can feel the tears threatening. Sam can understand how hard this was for her and she's just looking for someone who gets it.

Without a word, Sam pulls aside the sheets and comforter of his bed. Lizzy takes the invitation and walks over, dropping into the open space and lying on her side facing away from Sam. Bringing the blankets over her, he wraps his arm around her waist and Lizzy links her hand into his. The second he has her in a safe embrace, she lets it all out. The tears fall and the sobs wrack her whole body instantly.

The sound of her sorrow rips his heart in two but all Sam can do to help is be there for her. Nothing he says will make it better just like there's not a thing she could say to make life easier on him. Pulling her in tighter, he lets his own silent tears fall. They both are still so lost and broken by Lou's death and instead of getting better with time it seems to only get worse.

"I just wish you could be happy," Lizzy whispers to Sam, tired of seeing him miserable and lonely. "I wish she was still here for you so bad." She'd give anything to see him smile and actually mean it. He's grown more and more distant over time and she's sure that he's snuck out on his own a few times. He's up to something, she knows it, but she keeps it to herself. He's been through enough. Adding an overbearing and harshly judging brother will not help him in the long run.

Saying nothing in return, the two lay there, locked together in silence, and mourn their loss together. Together. At least they had that.

* * *

 


	9. Flirting is Hereditary

* * *

"What the shit is this?" Dean's voice loudly asks, abruptly waking both Lizzy and Sam up. Lizzy is laying alongside Sam with a hand on his chest and her head resting on his shoulder, much how Lizzy slept next to Dean every night. She must have settled in that way out of habit in the middle of the night. When they hear Dean's voice Sam pulls his arm from under her where it had been wrapped about her shoulders and they both sit up straight with a start.

"What's wrong!" Lizzy asks with alarm. The tone of voice Dean used makes both scared that something is up. They look to him with worry.

"I woke up alone and freaked out considering the last time that happened," Dean tells her, referring to her Vegas disappearing act and solo booze-fest just a couple days ago. He glares heatedly over at Sam with his hands on his hips. Never having been much of a jealous person before he met Lizzy, he hasn't quite figured out how to handle his possessiveness over her. And after the whole Vegas fiasco complete with sex tape and marriage, this really sets him off. "I came in here to ask Sam if he knew where you were. Guess he did."

"Jesus, dude," Lizzy forces out with a relieved breath, her hands clutching her chest as she pulls the covers off of her legs. "I thought something was seriously wrong."

"Something _is_ wrong, L," Dean loudly informs her. "Why the hell are you in here?"

Lizzy and Sam sit still for a second, eyes wide once more as they look at the angry man in the doorway. Sam's heart races a little. He gets it. Dean's letting his imagination get the best of him and assumes something happened between he and Lizzy.

"Dean, nothing happened if that's what you think," Sam reassures him. "Neither of us could sleep after seeing Lou again. It was a pity party in here if anything."

"I cried my fucking eyes out and we fell asleep … with the door open," Lizzy finishes, standing up and walking to stand in front of Dean. "What did you think happened here?"

Dean looks down at her, jaw set and arms still angrily crossed. "Why didn't you just wake me up if you couldn't sleep?"

"Because you were actually, truly asleep for once… peacefully and without waking up every hour to check on everything and everyone. I wasn't going to ruin that," she explains. "Plus, Dean, I miss Lou and after yesterday, Sam understands how I feel. It was a mutual misery thing."

"And that's all it was?" Dean questions.

"Yes," Sam answers. "Relax, man. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Oh no?" Dean challenges, finally letting go of what's been nagging at him for days now. "That why you kissed her before?"

"What?" Sam shouts out instantly with the question. His stomach knots. How the hell did Dean find that out?

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Lizzy asks calmly up to Dean, keeping her nerves down and letting her brain quickly turn as it desperately tries to figure out how to handle this one.

"I'm talking about the two times you and my brother went behind my back and locked fucking lips," Dean points accusingly between them. "Yeah, I know."

"Look, Dean…" Sam starts to apologize profusely before being cut off.

"You're insane," Lizzy accuses. "Where the hell did you get the idea that that would ever happen?"

"It's a funny thing about shapeshifters, L," Dean explains. "They can tap into your brain. They know what you know."

It finally clicks with Sam and Lizzy. The shifters told him. Of course.

"They lied," Lizzy tells him simply.

"Bullshit," Dean calls out. "Why would they lie about that?"

"Why did they do everything they did to us?" Lizzy further explains. "The whole point of them involving themselves in our lives was to fuck with us. Clearly, they did a great job. That's quite the seed they planted in your mind."

Dean stands still, looking down at her with a still clenched jaw and his eyebrows lowered. She does make a very good point…

"Seriously, you think Sam and I would ever do that?" she asks while turning to Sam who's still sitting in bed, giving him the death stare that says he'd better play along. "Sam, tell him he's lost his shit."

Sam looks over to his very angry brother and makes the decision to go along with Lizzy and lie. Dean had no reason to worry. Sam didn't want Lizzy like that… right? "You've lost your shit."

"See?" Lizzy turns back to Dean and says. "Relax, Hot Shot. I'm yours and only yours, like I've told you a million times."

Dean looks both of them over carefully. He believes her, he always does, but he wishes that nagging feeling in the back of his mind over this would just go away.

"Hey, I love you," Lizzy says while holding his face in her hands. "You're the only person I want, ever."

"I know," Dean admits stubbornly.

"And Sam is like my brother," she tells him with a disgusted face. "Gross dude." She kisses Dean on the lips quickly.

"Fine," Dean agrees to drop the issue. He looks at Sam one last time, Sam feeling its icy intent as he does. "We should get going, check out the school again."

Dean walks away without another word, determined to make sure he gets the first shower for once. Maybe it'll wash away his uneasy feelings still lingering.

As soon as Dean is gone, Lizzy turns back to Sam and mouths to him, "We'll talk later."

Sam shakes his head disapprovingly at her lies. Sure, he's been doing his fair share of fibs lately but this one made him feel worse than plain not telling Dean in the first place. Lizzy walks away from the situation and Sam stays sitting in bed, running a hand through his hair in frustration, and tries to compose himself in order to push this one deep down with the rest of the lies he'd told. Ruby, psychic exorcisms, demon blood, and now kissing Lizzy.

If Sam ever catches a break, any kind of break in his life ever again, he might just drop dead from shock.

* * *

"Well this has been enlightening," Dean grumbles as the three once again find themselves across the street from the small elementary school. They drove around that morning and found the Impala parked outside the Little Apple Motel a few miles away. They followed John to school and watched him drop Sam and Dean off. After that they stuck around. Lizzy is supposed to be their main priority so they scout out the school she's in with little hope that it'll reveal anything new.

"Yeah, I had a feeling that from outside the building we wouldn't get too much more info," Lizzy adds with a yawn. After the shitty night sleep she got last night paired with the drunken/throwing up/hung-over night before, she's not doing so hot during their second day in the past.

"You ok?" Sam asks her from the back seat of their new crappy car they had to steal. They were fearful that the police would be looking for the first one by now and decided to switch it up, this time finding an old Pinto that was shockingly still running in 1990.

"Fine," she claims through the end of her yawn. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Yeah, well, after school's out, you're going back for a nap," Dean offhandedly comments to her while staring at the front of the brick building.

"Um, did that whole babysitting thing go to your head?" Lizzy smiles at him. "You're now telling me when it's nap time?"

"Sorry, you just look like you need it," Dean tells her, zeroing in on the dark circles under her eyes.

"If anyone in this car needs some sleep it's Sam," she comments while turning around to look at him. "You look like shit by the way. You feeling alright?" She noticed the bags growing steadily under his eyes and the pallor in his skin tone getting worse and worse.

"Thanks so much. I feel fine," Sam answers in return quickly and guiltily. He's been getting sicker by the day but in the past Ruby won't be able to help him out with that. "And I agree with Dean."

"Yeah, yeah. You're both right," Lizzy begins with narrowed eyes. "But I could always use more sleep. Hazard of the job. What else is new?"

"Sam and I will run out, get food and whatnot, maybe some funk free clothes while you catch up on your sleep," Dean tells her. "Right Sammy?"

"Yeah, sure," Sam answers quickly.

"Ok," Lizzy cautiously says. "Try not to get me some lame or ugly clothes though, ok? I have a reputation to maintain."

"You'll be fine," Dean reassures as the school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. All three turn their attention to the mob of kids pouring quickly out the doors. After what feels like only a couple minutes, most students are gone, either riding the bus home or having been picked up. There are a pair of familiar looking kids sitting on the curb out front of the school, though, waiting for their ride.

_"Where's dad?" Sammy asks with disappointment._

"Late as always," Sam grumbles from the back seat. He's seen this before. Their father was known to be up to an hour late picking them up from school depending on what he'd gotten himself into during the day.

_"He's on his way, Sammy. Relax," Dean remarks, picking up a few rocks from the sidewalk and tossing them across the street, trying to hit the newspaper vending machines the three hunters were sitting next to the day before._

_"He's always late," Sammy complains. "So not cool."_

_"You're not cool," Dean rebuts to his annoying little brother as a rock loudly hits the plastic window of the Free Press vendor. "Yes!"_

_"Hi!" Lizzy's cheerful voice can be heard as she runs over to the two boys on the curb, leaving her mother in the dust as they had been walking to their car together._

"You know I was just thinking to myself, I could use some more surreal shit happening right about now," Lizzy remarks as they watch the whole thing unfold.

_"Hey," Sammy greets when he sees her, standing up with her presence._

_"How come you guys are still here?" Lizzy wonders brightly, smile in place as she's happy to see the two of them._

_"Our dad's running late today," Sammy explains._

_"Hey Sammy, is this Lou?" Dean wonders aloud with total glee as he stands up to get a better look at the girl. He drops an arm around his shorter brother and flashes his patented smile._

_"No, this is Lizzy," Sam explains, shrugging out of Dean arm and getting annoyed with him. "Remember, you helped her yesterday?"_

_Lizzy just smiles up at him expectantly, assuming he'd remember her clear as day._

"Wow, love 'em and leave 'em even back then, huh?" Lizzy pokes fun, seeing that her younger self didn't make much of an impact on the childhood Dean.

"L, if I was scamming on first graders when I was eleven, that'd be gross," Dean informs her.

"Touché," Lizzy answers, agreeing completely.

_"Oh yeah, you're the girl that kid pushed yesterday at recess," Dean finally recalls. "That kid's an asshole."_

_Lizzy just scrunches her face with his vulgar language._

_"I mean, he's a jerk," Dean tries to recover._

"Guess you didn't have the trucker mouth yet back then," Sam quips as he pushes Lizzy in the shoulder from behind her.

"Shut up," she jokingly returns while swatting at his hand, getting a weird look from Dean at their easy interaction.

_"He's a wicked big jerk," Lizzy concurs while dropping her pink backpack on the ground and unzipping it. "Everyone hates him because he's so mean. Here. I wanted to say thank you for being nice." Lizzy stands up tall after pulling out a paper and holds it out to Dean. Taking the paper he looks it over and smiles._

_"Ha, check this out Sammy," he shares the paper with his brother. "You're not smiling, she got it right."_

_"Shut up, Dean," Sammy answers, pushing his brother away._

_"Uh, thanks… Lizzy," Dean smiles genuinely over to her, Lizzy returning it, proud that he liked her work. They share a moment before Mrs. Noonan joins them._

Lizzy looks over to Dean quickly, smiling like the puppy love stricken woman that she is. That was damn cute to watch, no matter how fucked up it is in the long run. The look on his face lets her know he agrees totally.

_"You're still here?" Mrs. Noonan asks with sheer surprise. "You kind of struck me as a leave the second the bell rings type of student, Dean."_

_"I usually am, ma'a… uh, Mrs. Noonan," Dean catches himself. "Dad's just running late today. This is my brother Sammy."_

_"Nice to meet you, Sammy," Mrs. Noonan nods down to him right as the Impala's engine can be heard coming near. The car pulls up right in front of them and John jumps out in a hurry._

_"Sorry," he apologizes quickly when he sees an adult with his sons. He pops on his best smile with hopes of getting out of any trouble they caused, something his eldest son picked up from him. "Guess I lost track of time today."_

_"Oh, it's fine," Mrs. Noonan brushes off. "You're not that late at all."_

_"Dad, this is my teacher, Mrs. Noonan," Dean introduces and John's eyes grow wide._

_"You don't say," he slyly returns. "Well it's nice to meet the teacher my son won't shut up about since yesterday."_

_"Dad!" Dean calls out with embarrassment as Sammy bursts out laughing at his brother's red-turning face._

_"John Winchester," he formally greets with a handshake. "I really hope he's been behaving himself for you. Dean can be a handful sometimes."_

_Mrs. Noonan looks at John with utter surprise. "Really?"_

_"Well, that's what every teacher so far has told me," John says while ruffling Dean's hair. "They all say he's a bit energetic and very curious… which I always take to mean he's a pain in the butt."_

_"You're killing me," Dean says up to his father, moving away from his assaulting hand and fixing his hair quickly. He sits on the curb with Lizzy and Sammy to avoid hearing any more ego-killing moments._

"You know, it's kinda cute how flustered you are around my mother," Lizzy admits. "Still creepy, but kinda cute too."

"Hey, she was old enough for me back then," Dean explains with levity. "You weren't yet."

_"Dean's been pretty good for me," Mrs. Noonan tells John, avoiding mentioning the fight from the day before. "In fact, if you check his folder when you get home, you might like what you find."_

_"Oh yeah?" John responds with honest shock at what his son's teacher says._

_"Yes. His creative writing piece from yesterday was really good," she explains while watching the three children sit on the curb looking over the pictures in one of Sammy's books. "The assignment was to write about a time when someone needed you. He wrote all about his little brother. It's really quite sweet and very well written."_

Both Dean and his former self look at the teacher with utter wonder. No one had ever praised his work when it came to school, probably because he half-assed everything he did. He actually tried on this one assignment, however. The paper was about Sammy and that combined with his need to make this one teacher happy and proud made him work to his fullest ability for once.

Sam looks at Dean from the backseat. He remembers that paper. It was about the time that Sam had gotten sick and Dean was watching him while John was hunting. Dean stayed by his side until he was better, making sure he took medicine when he had to and getting him whatever he needed or wanted. From that moment on, Sam had relied on Dean more than anyone else, even his own father, for everything in his life… until he grew up and chose to rely only on himself. Sam found that assignment tucked away in his dad's journal years and years later. When he first read it, he was shocked. His brother never spoke his feelings much less wrote them down, so when he read his brother's words it actually touch him. It also made him realize that Dean had tons of unused potential in him as the paper was damn good for a sixth grader… he just never used it for whatever reason.

_"I can't wait to read it then," John smiles wide, looking the woman in front of him over. "You know, Dean never responds to teachers very well. Generally he doesn't like them at all, but you've changed his mind I get the feeling."_

_Mrs. Noonan smiles and nods. "Hopefully. He's a really good kid."_

_"Well thank you, but I think it's because he has a really good teacher."_

"Oh God," Lizzy says as her voice dips with slight disgust. "Oh shit, is your father hitting on my mother!"

"You just assumed Dean acts like he does by instinct only?" Sam quips. "Ha, it was all learned from dad."

"He did flirt pretty mercilessly sometimes," Dean adds. Lizzy looks to him with a scowl. "Hey, think of it as a compliment."

_"That's very sweet of you, Mr. Winchester," Mrs. Noonan hesitantly returns._

_"Call me John," he smiles back._

_"Ok, John. Well, I have to go now," Mrs. Noonan politely bids farewell. "I have to take Lizzy home and get dinner ready for her and her father." With this, she winks and John looks slightly dejected._

_"Ah," John says as he tries to hide his disappointment. "Well, lucky guy. Have a nice weekend, Mrs. Noonan."_

_"You too," she smiles back. "C'mon Liz."_

_"Bye Sammy," Lizzy says while standing up and grabbing her backpack. She stops and grins wide to Dean. "Bye Dean."_

_"See ya' Lizzy," Dean returns and stands up next to his father. The two stand side by side as they watch the mother and daughter get into their car, honking once and waving as they drive away._

_"You got good taste, Dean my boy," John says offhandedly as he ushers his own kids to the Impala before driving away._

"God damn it," Lizzy complains. "John was as bad as you are?"

"Nah," Dean brushes off. "He just flirted a bit, maybe got some lovin' in here and there, but with two kids it was kinda tough to find the time."

"Jesus," Lizzy huffs as Dean turns the key in the ignition.

"Alright, naptime young lady," Dean tells Lizzy with a shit-eating grin. "Gotta catch up on your beauty sleep."

"Like I need it," Lizzy jokes with a grin. "Though I doubt I'll be able to sleep that much." She knows how difficult that would be to do. She's tired but her adrenaline is still pumping a bit. She sees the worry in Dean's eyes and decides it best to assuage him. "But I'll still try."

"S'all I ask," Dean returns. "We shouldn't be gone long. Keep the doors locked, lights off..."

"I know the drill," Lizzy tells him. She smiles reassuringly and Dean leaves her alone. He knows she'll be careful, he just worries sometimes.

* * *

 


	10. Big Daddy

* * *

It isn't a sound or a voice that wakes her up. It's a feeling. It's her Spidy-Senses.

Lizzy did manage to catch a little sleep after Sam and Dean left her alone to run errands and get food, having easily drifted off in her completely emotionally burned out state. Also, the bed was comfortable and the house was quiet, which at this point in her life is an unusual luxury.

Now, however, instead of being peacefully asleep, her skin crawls with the feeling of someone nearby,  _very_  nearby. She doesn't move or open her eyes while she listens intently, her ears straining to hear anything at all. Attempting to devise a quick way out, she finds it too late when she feels the cold metal blade press against her neck.

"Who the hell are you?" the threatening and low voice demands a little too closely into her ear. Lizzy's eye fly open but it's dark in the room now, the heavy decorative curtains not helping in the dusk hours of the night. Peering towards the voice without turning her head, she can only make out the outline of a man hunched over the bed. He's a decent size, about Dean's height if he were to stand tall she guesses, and he has the same bulk to him. Lizzy takes a deep breath and prepares to get herself out of this one any way she can.

"Get that knife off of me," Lizzy calmly warns in her most foreboding tone she could muster.

"Tell me who the fuck you are and I'll be glad to… depending on your answer."

"Last time I'll ask you. Get that fucking blade off of my neck or you'll be damned sorry." Lizzy talks a big game, but much like her best friend always said, she had the balls and the strength to back it up. She was ready to make this guy regret ever coming after her.

"I don't have time for this game, sweetheart. Start talking," the harsh voice returns and Lizzy finds something familiar about it. His tone, his choice in words….

Oh well, she  _did_  give the man fair warning.

Grabbing ahold of the wrist attached to the knife in one swift, sharp movement, Lizzy pulls the intruder into her while she swings hard with her free hand. Landing her fist square in the center of the mystery man's face and feeling his nose shift under her knuckles, she then uses his loss of balance against him by shoving him back away from her by the shoulders. Once he takes a couple steps backwards with the assault, Lizzy launches off of the bed and stands opposite the intruder with a ready stance. Watching him shake off the hit, Lizzy prepares herself mentally. After the past few days she's had, maybe it'll be nice to kick some ass. She always felt better after beating a guy much bigger than her into the ground. She used to do it for fun and to let off steam. It was also one of the things Dean got extremely mad at her for when they first met so she hasn't had a lot of chances for this outlet since.

"You decided to fuck with the wrong chick, buddy," Lizzy comments while the two stare each other down. Catching a sliver of light from between the curtains, the man's eyes are lit up for a split second. Familiar yet very dark, his eyes make Lizzy feel almost comforted instead of alarmed for just a brief moment. The calm is only fleeting as the large man darts at her, knife still in hand.

The blade cuts through the air and Lizzy leans back deftly to avoid its reach before having to duck out of its return path in quick succession. She finds her opening after the last swipe and strikes fast, her fist forcefully crashing once more into the man's face, this time to his left cheek. He backs up with an annoyed grumble as Lizzy advances on him, swiping her foot through the air. Coming in contact with his hand hard, his grip loosens and the knife flies off into the shadows of the room.

"Fuck this," the stranger complains as he reaches behind himself and pulls out a gun. "Who the hell are you?" Lizzy hears the gun cock and her blood runs cold. A loaded gun on her twice in three days; once with the shifter in Vegas and now this guy. That's a new record for her.

"Alright," Lizzy gives in, knowing a handgun beats bare fists any day. Holding her hands up in defeat, she stands still. "You win. Let's talk."

"Name," the man sternly commands.

"Lizzy," she answers, her heart beating fast. Where the hell are Dean and Sam? Shouldn't they be back by now? "I had wrongly thought this house was empty. I'm leaving right now."

"Who are you with?"

"I'm alone," Lizzy lies of course. Giving up other hunters is a huge no-no.

"Bull. Who were the two men you were with today... and yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" It hits her hard. She knows exactly who she's talking to and being threatened by. He was the only one who paid them any attention the first morning they were outside that school. "Oh my God."

"Who were they!?" the man shouts, losing his patience as Lizzy stands quiet, trying to find the words.

"Listen, we're on the same team here," Lizzy tries to explain while taking a slow, very cautious step forward towards the intruder. "You're a hunter. So am I. So are the men I'm with, so put the gun down and we'll…"

"Where did you get that!?" he very angrily demands while cutting her off. It's then Lizzy realizes that when she stepped forward the new-to-her Winchester family heirloom on her wrist caught a beam of light from the window, reflecting off of its surface and calling attention to it.

"From one of the men I'm with," Lizzy slowly explains, knowing that now she was screwed. He knows this item and he knows it well. This may set him off once and for all. "I can explain if you'll let me."

"Who the hell are you!?" the man demands, ire toppling his composure with the sight of the jewelry.

"My name is Elizabeth Noonan," Lizzy says slowly, hoping to transfer her calming tone onto him. "And you're John Winchester."

"How did you know my name?" he demands quietly. "How did you know that? And why do you have my wife's bracelet?"

"Please put down the gun," Lizzy begs. "I'm not here to mess with you or hurt you, ok? It's a really long story but I would be more than happy to share it if you'll put the gun down and be willing to believe me."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because," Lizzy breathes deeply before explaining. "You're John Winchester. You married Mary Campbell and had two sons, Dean and Sam, both named after Mary's parents. Mary died in 1983 in a house fire after a demon attacked her in Sam's room. Ever since you've been on the road with your kids looking for what killed her."

"How the fuck do you know all that?" John asks, his gun shaking a little with what the unknown to him girl says.

"Because, John, I'm… oh fuck it, I'm in love with Dean… um, the Dean of my time, not the kid of your time. I'm here from 2009." Lizzy pauses. "Yes, I am fully aware of how nuts this sounds. I think we just need to sit down and have a long talk," Lizzy suggests. "I only know this stuff because I know your sons very, very well. They're all I have left in my life."

John drops his gun and turns on the lamp by the bed. He looks her in the eye, really looks at her, and for some reason he relaxes a little.

"Dean gave me this," Lizzy holds up her wrist. "Because he told me that I should have it since I am the most important woman that's ever been in his life… only after Mary." She steps closer to him. "You know that with everything I just told you that I'm not lying."

"No, I don't think you're lying." John sighs. "Doesn't mean I understand."

"Trust me, I sometimes wonder if I get it all too," Lizzy comments. "Let's sit down, huh?"

* * *

"God damn," John sighs while sitting at the round kitchen table with what he now knows as his son's girlfriend from the future. After talking with her for just a little while, he found himself fully believing her and at complete ease in her presence. He washes a hand down his face with utter frustration and shock over the story of how they got there and the quick version of Lizzy's background. Watching his habitual movements Lizzy feels a little flash of familiarity in her heart. That's Dean's go to move when he gets overwhelmed also. "So you've been hanging around my boys for a while now?"

"This point, they're my family," she explains.

"Well, if you have the boys you must have me too then," John half assumes while looking at her for confirmations. With a pained voice, she lies.

"Yes. I've lost everyone else."

"Well, we know that story well so I'm sure they can relate," John returns.

"John, I feel I owe you so much," Lizzy begins. "They'll be back any minute so I have to get this out now. Your kids… they're amazing. They're my rocks. There is no way I'd be alive without them at this point. They're caring, and smart, and so good at what they do, just… there aren't words to explain what they both mean to me. Sam is like the brother I never had and I really don't know what I'd do without him. And Dean, God John, I love him more than anything, more than myself. He's my world. Thank you for him, honestly."

She reaches across the table and takes John's hand, looks him in the eye, and John smiles, nodding quietly instead of answer her. His heart fills with her words and his voice would come out unsteady if he tried to speak right now.

"And I know that what I am about to say is going to be way, way out of line," Lizzy swallows hard. She knows he could hate her for saying this but this opportunity will never come again. She has to go for it. "But I love your son way too much to not tell you this. The Dean I know, while strong and fearless in the face of practically anything, has no idea just how wonderful he is and I feel he never will."

Gaging his reaction, she sees not anger but confusion so she goes on.

"I know all about Sam, we all do," Lizzy tells him, John's face going pale as she does. "And I know why you made it a priority to look after him and make it Dean's job to ensure his safety, but over time, after always having Sam be both yours and his first and only priority, Dean lost his sense of self. He became your soldier, not your son."

"Now wait a minute," John interrupts her, taking his hand back. There's the anger she knew was coming. "I love my sons equally. Just because what happened to Sammy in the past is what it is, that doesn't mean I love him more or I think differently of the two."

"And I believe that completely," she reassures with all honesty. "But Dean doesn't. He idolizes you, John. When you meet him you'll see what I mean. His look, his music, his clothes, what he says, what he does… it's all you. But when he was little it appeared to him that you were so concerned with Sammy that he always fell by the wayside. I just want you to know how much he loves you and wants to make you happy and proud of him. Please, don't forget about him as a son. He's more than just Sammy's keeper. I want him to be able to know how great he is and not look at me like I'm a crazy person when I tell him just that. He's never understood why I see someone so admirable and wonderful in him because he doesn't see it."

A terrible silence grows between them and Lizzy itches with regret. She shouldn't have said anything. Shit, this was a bad idea. She opens her mouth to apologize but John beats her to it.

"You got balls on you, kid," John grumbles. "To say this all to me."

"It's my only chance to make Dean happier in life," Lizzy shrugs. "At the risk of you absolutely hating me, I had to try for his sake. I only want him to be happy."

"Yeah," John answers with a wrinkled forehead. "So I'm guessing you're pretty good for him."

"I try to be," Lizzy smiles, glad that the legendary hunter doesn't want to kill her. "Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him at this point. I think about what happened to you, with Mary's death, and I seriously don't know how you got through that. Losing Dean…" she pauses. Better not tell him that she did lose Dean before and that he went to hell. Seems like it'd be a bad idea. "The thought of losing him, it terrifies me. Not sure I could get past that."

"You'd be surprised how strong you can be when you have to," John tells her, his words falling on experienced ears.

"You'd be surprised how much I understand that statement," she tells him. "Thank you for not wanting to kill me for being so forward."

"Why would I want to kill you for trying to help one of my kids?" he asks with a winkled expression.

The front door opens, interrupting their conversation, and they hear footsteps moving quickly through the house.

"L!" Dean shouts out, looking for her. "Where are you!?"

"Perfect timing," Lizzy comments quietly to John before letting them know where she is. "Kitchen!"

"Why's the Impala here!?" Sam asks as they both rush into the kitchen to find Lizzy sitting with their father at the table. They freeze, wide eyed and shocked. John stands with a smile, looking over the two full grown men standing in front of him. It's silent in the room for a few seconds as the reunited family just stares at one another. Even though Dean and Sam had observed him from afar, they were by no means ready to talk to their father.

"My boys," John greets them with a sentimental smile, making it a point to walk to Dean first after his and Lizzy's conversation and pull him in, hugging him tight. Dean looks over his father's shoulder to Lizzy, questioning her silently, but she just shrugs in response. What was there to say anyways? John pulls back, holding Dean by his shoulders for a moment as he looks him over.

"Hi… dad," Dean struggles out, still shell-shocked as he stares at the man he hasn't seen in nearly three years.

"Hi Dean," John says back, dropping his hand twice onto his son's cheek. He lets him go and moves onto Sam, the younger brother looking about ready to panic at the sight of his father. "Sammy," John smiles and hugs his other son the same. When he backs off after a minute he laughs a little to himself.

"Why are you laughing?" Sam softly asks.

"You're so," John starts and then laughs a bit again. "Shit, you're really tall."

"Yeah," Sam absentmindedly agrees with a small smile. "High school was good to me."

"Just never saw that coming," John tells him before taking in the sight of the two young men before him, proud of his kids and how they've grown. "You two look good. Really good."

"So do you," Dean returns without thinking. Quickly he points to his head. "Less grey."

"I guess that was bound to happen eventually," John huffs.

"Though you look like you… went a few rounds today," Sam says, referring to the swelling still forming on John's cheek and the smudge of red under his nose.

"Um, I think I have to take the blame on that one," Lizzy pipes up and grimaces as she holds her hand up guiltily. She turns to John. "Sorry about that, by the way. If I'd known…"

"L!" Dean loudly calls her, interrupting her apology. "You beat up my dad!? What the hell!"

"I didn't know it was him!" she returns, feeling bad enough as it was. "He broke in while I was sleeping. It was dark and he went after me!"

"Dean, get off her ass, huh?" John asks of his adult son before speaking strictly to Lizzy. "Liz, you did exactly what you should have. I may not know much about you, but I'm proud of the way you handled yourself. You're trained well and it was my fault for underestimating you."

"Yeah, most who underestimate this one end up looking like you or much, much worse," Sam tells his father with a proud smile.

"Oh, I've learned not to piss her off too much," Dean adds in.

"Damn straight," Lizzy returns with a finger pointing straight at him before sitting once more at the table. "And you can thank Bobby for my ass kicking abilities."

"Bobby Singer?" John asks with some surprise.

"The one and only," Lizzy brags. "He took me from pain in the ass college kid to monster-killer in no time."

"Eh, there's some natural ability in there too," Sam compliments with a sheepish grin. "He just built on what was already there."

"Would never have known it was there at all without the sensei," Lizzy admits. She still feels she owes her life many times over to the grouchy old man with a soft spot for her and Lou.

"So there isn't another me running around this town with grey hair, is there?" John asks the group as he also takes a seat, Sam and Dean doing the same. "I'd hate to find out how miserable I become a couple decades later."

Dean and Sam stay quiet. They don't want to answer him. Explaining to a person when and how they die can't possibly be good for the future, and Dean's already learned that no matter what you say or do nothing will change anyways.

"Nope. You weren't with us when we got sent on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," Lizzy explains quickly on behalf of Sam and Dean. "We were working a case in Las Vegas without you."

"Sure sounds like something Dean would get into," John remarks.

"Sounds to me like you know just who your kids are already," Lizzy comments.

"I have a pretty good idea," John smiles while turning to his sons. "So what the fuck were you two getting into that shot you back in time?"

"My life," Lizzy explains quickly. "Honestly, this whole mess is all about me. This is my home town, I grew up here and that angel I told you about plopped us here to learn more about what makes me… me."

"Angels, shit," John complains while once more washing a hand down his face.

"That's what I said at first," Dean remarks, remembering how insane is all sounded the first time he'd heard it too.

"Ok, so why does an angel want you to understand your past?" John questions Lizzy, making her tense up a bit. She isn't too sure how much she should say.

"It's a pretty long story," Sam comments, saving her from having to rehash the whole ordeal when he recognizes her hesitance. "Ah, sort version, Lizzy has a kind of link to the angels and needs to find out how and why."

"Yeah, it's complicated," Dean answers looking over at her, grabbing her hand on the table top to give her the reassurance she needs. "But we're figuring it out. We've been told to follow her as a kid and get whatever info we can."

"Wait, this is the town you grew up in?" John questions over to Lizzy.

"Yes," she confirms. "We were checking out my elementary school yesterday morning, which is when you saw us." She turns to Sam and Dean. "By the way, dumb-dumbs, it's your fault your father almost killed me. He heard you bickering and use your names on the bench the other day outside the school. Made him more than a little suspicious. I can't imagine why." With her sarcasm John smiles.

"Sorry," they both apologize to her at the same time.

"I had a feeling something was up when I heard the names and then when I saw you casing the joint again today my interest was piqued to put it lightly," John admits. "Never thought it'd be my actual kids from the future though."

"I doubt most people would assume that," Sam says. "Even hunters."

"Ah, so I have to ask," John starts. "If you're all here to follow Lizzy, does anyone think it's kinda odd that I'd be in this town with you guys at the same time?"

"We think it's wicked odd considering I had thought I'd met the for the first time just a few years ago," Lizzy confirms. "And so far, we have no idea what the connection is."

"Can't be a coincidence though," Dean adds in.

"When is it ever?" John challenges before pausing while looking at Lizzy. "Ah, wait a minute. Lizzy? Weren't you the little girl today after school? The one who was with Dean's teacher?"

"Affirmative. That was my mother," Lizzy confirms.

"That's some messed up stuff," John says. "I met you as a kid this afternoon and then almost killed you tonight. That's one huge mind fuck right there."

"You're telling me," Dean smirks. "How do you think I feel? I just found out I was scamming on her mom like twenty years ago."

"And not only that, but I had to watch you hit on her," Lizzy adds, focusing only on John disapprovingly. "Talk about mind fuck."

John pauses and looks between the three younger hunters at the table. No one comes to his defense. It was useless to. They all saw it happen.

"She's good to my son," John admits quietly. "And, she's pretty." He smiles bashfully while on the inside dying with embarrassment.

"Yeah, pretty  _hot_ ," Dean corrects his father, receiving a punch in the arm almost immediately. "She is! And be flattered, you're like her twin."

"Still my mom, dude," she warns with anger at both the men speaking of her mother in such a way.

"Well what can I do to help the future hunters of America?" John asks, looking for a new topic to get out of the one he's in. "I can't sit by and let you three run around in your pasts without helping out. Wouldn't be very fatherly of me."

"As of right now, there really isn't much you can do," Dean tells him. "We've discovered a few things already and we have one more thing to check out that you really can't help too much with."

"Speaking of, what time is it?" Lizzy asks the table.

"Little after six," John tells her while looking at his watch.

"Ah, I hate to break up the family reunion, but we have to run." Lizzy stands up from her chair, Dean doing the same to come along. "We have some people to follow."

"Yeah, and I should probably go check on… well, you two," John says with awkward hesitation. What an odd thing to say.

"Uh, before you go," Sam stops his father, remembering one severe disadvantage they are at in the moment. "We were kinda dropped off here with no weapons. Any way we could borrow some while we're around?"

"Come on out to the car," John wearily but happily says. "I'll give you whatever I can do without. Just don't take anything silver unless you have to. Gonna need that."

"What're you hunting?" Lizzy asks, concerned over his need for silver.

"Possible werewolf a town over," John explains while heading for the front door, the three hunters following. He keeps talking as they trek across the lawn to the Impala. "There was a body found last week, chest torn apart and heart missing. Sounded clear cut to me but now that I'm here, I can't find anything."

"No one else has died?" Dean asks.

"Nope," John answers. "So now I'm left scratching my damn head wondering where the hell it went to. I've already pulled the boys from three other schools this year alone. I'd like to stay put for a minute, not hit the road and track down a were' gone nomad if I can."

"I know I'd like that," Sam comments as John unlocks the trunk and shoots him a questioning look. "Um, sorry I gave you such a hard time about that as a kid. I didn't understand back then."

"Yeah, I know that, Sammy," John tells him. "I tried not to take it too personally, but it still hurt like a bitch every time. Clearly you've figure it all out though, huh?" He smiles to his son, glad to know that Sam eventually came around. Sam just sadly forces a smile back, not feeling it necessary to share just how strained their relationship becomes in the future or the fact that Sam really didn't figure it out… he tried his damnedest to get away every chance he had.

"What!?" Dean smiles out as he searches through the weapons in the trunk. His hand grips onto a familiar old piece and he lifts it out to look it over. "Get the fuck out of here. I forgot all about this beauty."

"Oh yeah," Sam grins. "I remember that one."

"The Fieldmaster," Dean proudly says aloud while checking it over. "Remington pump action riffle, sawed off. This thing can dole out some serious punishment! You used to leave this with me a lot back in the day when you'd be out for a while."

"I got an old double barrel with ya' right now," John explains. "Go ahead and take that one with you while you're here. I got some salt rounds you can take too."

"Thanks," Dean says as he reminisces a little. He slept with this gun propped next to his bed many a night while John was out on hunts and he and Sam were alone. He'd shot it only a few times, but that didn't mean he loved it any less. Most kids have a blanket or a stuffed animal for security. Dean had The Fieldmaster.

"Here," John says, nudging Dean aside so that he can gather some items for them. "Take a couple knives, I have an extra salt canister too. Do you know what you're up against?"

"Uh, angels mostly," Lizzy says, making a pained face. "And whatever else decides to join the party at any given moment. The second anything finds out about us being here, it could get ugly."

"Right," John says back oddly. "Can't say I know how to defend against angels."

"Unless you have an angel's blade, neither do we really," Sam answers back. "Have any flasks?"

John pulls one out of his back pocket, swishing around its contents with a grin. Dean huffs with a smirk. It's the same flask he keeps on him most of the time. He saved this one exclusively for booze, just like his dad always did.

"Not what I meant," Sam explains with a grin, not surprised by the answer he gets. "How about rosaries?"

"Yeah," John answers, rummaging through the his items before handing one over. "You need the blessing?"

"Nah. Everything we need is right up there," Lizzy grins while poking Sam in the temple a few times, making him wince and lean away from her finger. "He's a walking, talking reference book for the supernatural. The dude's awesome."

"That 'a boy," John compliments, proud to find that his son turns out to be the bright man he'd always thought he'd be.

"Lizzy and I need to go follow some people, try and figure out why the hell we're here," Dean shares. "Dad, you could probably use a second set of eyes, right? Maybe one of us can see something you might have missed."

"Yeah, that would be good," John admits.

"I mean, if you want, Sam could help you out."

Lizzy opens her eyes wide with glee as she looks over to Sam. In her mind it's a great idea. She knows Sam and John didn't part on good terms before John died. What a way to make up for ruined time.

"Yeah," Lizzy agrees. "You should do that. It'll probably be a mess through tonight and this way you can avoid emotional meltdown number three. We can meet up later tonight."

Sam looks over at John and John looks back. Both shrug and neither can find a good reason not to work together.

"If I can't trust my own son, who can I trust?" John tells him, tossing a handgun his way. "You in?"

Sam stares down at the gun in his hand and thinks it over. He would like to erase all those times he hassled his dad about hunting with him and he does miss the man terribly.

"Sure," Sam says. "I'm in."

* * *

 


	11. Who's Your Daddy?

* * *

Pulling up to the Little Apple Motel while sitting in the passenger seat with the local classic rock station blasting (not much has changed over time), Sam feels his heart race a little when they park in front of one of the rooms.

"You wanna come in or is that too weird?" John asks his adult son with an awkward smile.

"I don't know, honestly," Sam answers, confused as to which way he should go about this situation. Seeing his own young self and eleven year old brother was one thing, but interacting with them?

"I can guarantee Dean will be so busy watching TV and Sammy will be so hard into a book that they won't even notice you."

Sam inhales deeply and nods his agreement. "Yeah, alright." He looks over to his dad with a hesitant smile which is returned to him.

Once out of the car and in front of the door, John and Sam both hear the shouting from inside the room. John sighs heavily while unlocking the door and quickly heading in.

"Hey!" John shouts to the two boys interlocked on the dingy carpeted floor. "Knock it off!" Dean has Sammy in a head lock and Sammy is throwing his fists while shouting out for his older brother to get off of him. John rushes over to pry the two apart, grabbing each one by the collar of their t-shirts and holding them out to his sides so they can't reach each other. "The hell's going on here?"

"Dean's being a jerk!" Sammy shouts out, trying to push his older brother again but gets stopped by John's grip on him.

"No I'm not!" Dean yells back. "Dad, he gets to pick the show every time. It was my turn and I wanted to watch Unsolved Mysteries!"

"That show's stupid!" Sammy rebuts.

"No,  _you're_  stupid!" Dean returns while once again trying to get at his little brother once more.

"I think you two have been cooped up together for too long," John explains away. "Sammy, sit on the couch. Dean, bed."

The two huff angrily but do as their told. They each plop heavily down into their respective places, Sammy with his arms crossed over his chest and Dean with his fists balled in his lap.

Sam stands by the door looking over the scene with fondness. He and Dean fought like that a lot when they'd been forced together in tight quarters for a while without their dad around to keep the peace. It was always something menial they fought over, too, like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box or what they'd eat for dinner (usually Spaghettios or Mac and Cheese). It wasn't fun at the time, but now it' almost endearing.

"You both lose," John declares after thinking it over for a minute and stealing the channel changer. "The news it is." He flips to the local news feed before searching through the mini refrigerator and both Sammy and Dean say nothing. They know better than to argue with their father, especially when he found them literally fighting like that. Dean sits and stews while Sammy takes up his nearby Ghost Files book and dives in. "Doesn't look like you guys ate dinner yet."

"Didn't want any of the food in there," Dean tells him with an attitude.

"Why don't I go pick something up then?" Sam finally pipes in from his still standing place by the door. He would love nothing more than to make his former self and young version of his brother happy. Plus, in the craziness of finding his dad talking with Lizzy when he got back, they never ended up eating the food Dean and he picked up. He  _was_  hungry. "I didn't eat yet either."

"Who  _are_  you?" Dean suspiciously asks.

"That's Tom," John lies. "I'm working with him a little bit while we're here."

Sam just smiles as he watches Dean eye him carefully, always being the weary one when new people came around his family.

"I could go pick up a pizza maybe," Sam offers again, Dean's formerly stern look softening with the word pizza. Sam learned last night that pizza is a hell of a way to get kids on his side and he's seeing just how right that little bit of information is. Peering over at his dad, Dean waits for a verdict while silently praying for a yes.

"You don't have to do that," John tells him. "We have stuff for sandwiches."

"That we  _always_  eat," Dean grumbles. "Like every night."

"Don't push it, kid," John warns to his mouthy son.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to," Sam smiles.

"Alright, but he's your problem now," John answers back while nodding to Dean. "You've just earned yourself a new best friend." Sam laughs as John reaches for his back pocket and then tosses his wallet to Sam followed by the keys to the car. "It's on me though."

"Yes sir," Sam answers automatically, his former discipline coming right back in the presence of his father.

"Can I go with you?" Dean asks hopefully up to the much taller, and now totally cool in his eyes, man.

"Like I said…" John mutters, earning a grin from Sammy from the couch as his father makes fun of his older brother.

"Uh, ok," Sam hesitantly answers, not exactly sure if this was a good idea or not.

"Dean, leave the guy alone, huh?" John says to his overly enthusiastic son after catching Sam's unsure tone. "He's already doing something nice for you."

"I gotta get outta here, dad," Dean complains. "Been stuck with mopey butt over there the whole God damned day."

"Language!" John shouts out.

"You're no fun either, Dean," Sammy tells him without looking up from his book. "You're always being annoying."

"Dean, it's cool. You can come with me," Sam announces, seeing that the poor kid just needed some time away. "You can help me pick out the pizza."

"Awesome!" Dean shouts, jumping off the bed and dashing for his jacket.

"Great," Sammy complains. "Pepperoni and sausage. Gross."

Sam leans down to Sammy and quietly whispers, "I'll get a cheese too." He winks at his former self and watches as his own face beams with joy. He wonders when the last time was that he himself smiled like that. "Let's go," Sam goes to say to Dean but when he turns he finds the door already open. Peering out he sees Dean sitting in the car already.

"At least some things never,  _ever_  change," Sam says to John before heading out the door. Once in the car he sees Dean rifling through the shoebox of cassettes, picking out the Metallica one, and popping it in.

"You know any pizza places around?" Sam asks, hoping they've been in town long enough to know. 1990 doesn't come with 3G service so as of right now, Sam doesn't know where to go.

"Head that way," Dean answers, pointing up the street. Sam pulls out onto the road in the direction he was told to go in. An awkward silence sets in as Sam peers over at the former version of his older brother while he nods his head along to 'Battery'. He has no idea what to say to him.

"So you're gonna help dad hunt that werewolf?" Dean asks Sam in a quite even and nonchalant tone.

"Ah, yeah," Sam responds with surprise. "Didn't know you knew about werewolves."

"I know about a lot of things," Dean answers quietly while looking out the passenger window. "Like I know you're a hunter."

"That I am," Sam states, impressed with Dean's ability to read people so easily at a young age.

"And I know your name is probably not Tom," Dean keeps revealing. Sam looks at him with wide eyes and Dean just huffs. "Chill, you don't have to tell me your real name. I can just tell when Dad's lying."

"So why did he lie if you can tell?" Sam asks.

"For Sammy," Dean answers back flatly. "He wants to protect him from that kinda shit."

"Watch your mouth, dude," Sam warns him before he could stop himself.

"You're not my dad," Dean rebuts.

Sam grows quiet for a minute, unsure of what to say next, but luckily his chatty older brother makes his life easier on him.

"You have any brothers?"

"Sure do," Sam smiles brightly with the question. "An older one."

"Mines a pain in the ass," Dean grumbles. "I always have to watch him and all he ever does is complain or read. He doesn't like cars, or good music, or good TV shows… nothing."

"I doubt he's all bad though," Sam tries to fight back. "I bet you have fun now and then."

"Yeah, just not lately," Dean says. "Been just the two of us for too long."

"I hear that," Sam says under his breath. If only this Dean knew how similar life will be in a few decades. "But you know he looks up to you, right?"

"I guess," Dean incredulously says.

"He does," Sam assures him. "Why do you think he's reading that ghost book you gave him?"

"Because it's awesome," Dean explains away.

"No. It's because you told him to. He wants to be like you."

Dean gives Sam a look of complete disbelief.

"It's totally true," Sam confirms. "He gets a good grade and you tell him you're proud of him. He hits a bull's-eye in target practice, you high-five him and he smiles for days. That crap means the world to him."

"Huh," Dean nods and accepts what Sam tells him and Sam feels happy he could get his older brother to understand how important he is, no matter what Sammy did to make him nuts.

"Right there!" Dean shouts suddenly when he catches sight of the pizza place he knew of. Sam pulls into a parking space out front and Dean's already out of the car before the Impala is even turned off.

"Never fucking changed a bit," Sam mutters to himself while trying to catch up with the very excited and very hungry kid.

* * *

Following Cathy and Brian from their houses to a local diner, Dean parks their stolen car in the lot out back and they wait a few minutes before heading in. Dean knows at this point he should be mentioning the paperwork from her house and his and Sam's suspicions, but he doesn't have it in his heart to tell her. It would hurt so damn much and the look on her face would be more than he could handle. Plus, they still didn't have solid proof. Basically, he's fully aware of how much of a chicken shit he's being.

"You're gonna be ok," Dean reminds quietly, squeezing her shaking hand a little tighter, as they walk across the small restaurant and find a booth right next to where Cathy and Brian are seated. Lizzy nods as they get closer and does what she can to not stare down the two people as they pass. She keeps her focus up on Dean in order to hide her face from them, knowing the resemblance would give her up.

Sliding into the booth, Lizzy with her back to Brian and Dean across from her, getting a clear view over Lizzy's shoulder at Cathy, they settle in and try their best to not look too suspicious.

"What can I get you two today?" a middle-aged waitress asks loudly the second they sit.

"Um, beer please," Lizzy orders, not really paying attention to the server as she strains her ears to hear the conversation behind her. A beer sounds pretty damn good right about now. She might need the liquid assistance.

"Beer, and a cheeseburger," Dean answer when his turn is up. Lizzy gives him a surprised look at his food order. "What? We never ate the food Sam and I got. You should probably get something too."

"I'll steal from your plate," Lizzy tells him without looking at him as she just can't find it in her to be hungry right now.

"Great…" Dean mumbles, not wanting to share his food.

"That all?" The server asks while looking between the two of them.

"All set for now, sweetheart. Thanks," Dean grins out and they're left alone. He watches as Lizzy turns her head slightly to the side, her face concentrated on the two people talking at her back. The waitress drops off their drinks and they listen as the pair talk about work, Brian's upcoming family vacation, Cathy's classroom, and many other random topics until the conversation takes a certain turn.

" _So, how's she doing?" Brian asks while bringing his coffee to his lips._

" _Great, actually," Cathy answers. "Grades are really good, she in the highest reading group with Lou, her teacher says she's really motivated and working hard. Couldn't ask for anything more."_

" _Good," Brian answers back. "That's good to hear."_

" _Though Sandy also said she's been talking too much in class. Wonder where she gets that, huh?"_

_Brian laughs at the statement._

Lizzy slightly smiles along. Her mother was a big talker and so was Lizzy. Add it onto the massive list of things she gets from her mom.

" _Well I'm sure the person she's talking to is my other daughter as per usual," Brian remarks, making both laugh. "I doubt she's working alone on that one."_

As Lizzy's face scrunches in confusion, Dean can feel his stomach knot with the comment. Brian's other daughter. Shit. Sam was right. He should have warned her. Now it's too late. She's going to lose it.

"Other daughter?" Lizzy mouths to Dean, earning her a shoulder shrug when Dean pretends to not know anything. To Lizzy, Brian has a daughter and a son. The end. What the hell is he talking about?

" _She still loving dance?" Brian questions._

" _Love is not a good enough word," Cathy laughs. "Obsessed is more like it. It's all she talks about. It's all she does all over the house."_

" _Think I should pop Lou into classes?" Brian suggests. "Might be something fun for the both of them."_

" _Like they don't hang out enough much as it is," Cathy returns. "They're attached at the hip."_

" _Just like sisters," Brian brightly comments. "Just like it should be."_

"Thanks," Dean says to the waitress when she drops off their never looks up at her though. His eyes are trained on Lizzy's through their eavesdropping. She wears her hearts on her sleeve always and he can see the utter confusion. He knows it's only a matter of time before the bomb drops completely and he reaches across the table to grab her hand in anticipation. Physical contact always makes everything better and much more manageable for Lizzy so he does what he can.

" _Sure, she might like it," Cathy answers. "We could carpool and make my life a little easier."_

_Brian laughs. "I'll talk to Jane when I get back."_

" _I have to say, the move has worked out really nicely. Don't you think?" Cathy tells Brian._

" _Yes and thank you again for doing that," Brian sincerely says. "When the Smiths put that house up for sale six months ago, it really was the perfect opportunity. I can't ever repay you for giving me the chance to be so close to her."_

"What the fuck?" Lizzy whispers to herself, the conversation getting more and more cryptic.

" _Brian, I never wanted you out of her life," Cathy explains. "You know that."_

" _I do," Brian says back. "And I know you couldn't ever tell Paul. I couldn't live with crushing him like that. And with Jane finding out she was pregnant a few weeks earlier… this was the best way to go about this situation."_

" _Absolutely," Cathy agrees. "And now, the kids get to know each other like family, you can see Lizzy much more often, it's really the best we can do."_

"Shit," Lizzy mutters, eyes blown wide as she looks over to Dean with utter panic.

"You're ok," he calmly and very quietly reminders her, gripping tighter onto her hand and doing his best to reign her in and curb the pending meltdown she'll hopefully have later. He doesn't want her losing it now, in public, in front of her mother, and paternal father, from 1990. "Look at me. You're fine. You can do this."

" _Cathy, I really owe you for this," Brian huffs._

" _Trust me, it's the least I could do," Cathy returns. "Without you, there'd be no daughter in either my or Paul's lives. You've given us the world."_

Lizzy's face drops completely before becoming an ever changing mess of emotions. Dean watches as he sees fear, anger, sadness, betrayal, everything. So much to process. Too much to think about. She clamps her other hand down onto his wrist as her eyes plead to him for… anything.

" _Well here's to the magic of alcohol then, huh?" Brain jokes, eliciting a laugh from Cathy._

" _Don't remind me," she lightly remarks in a joking tone._

" _It's getting late, Cath," Brian says. "Should probably get home before Lou passes out. She's dying to read more James and the Giant Peach."_

" _Good!" Cathy responds. "That's a great book, I'm glad she likes it. Her reading level is really high and that'll keep her on her toes."_

" _You want to send Lizzy over for breakfast tomorrow?" Brian asks. "Making chocolate chip pancakes."_

" _Oh, she'll love you!" Cathy laughs as she stands up._

" _Wouldn't be the same without her there to eat them with us!" Brain laughs._

Lizzy bows her head, not able to focus any longer on anything. Brian always made chocolate chip pancakes, Lizzy's favorite, whenever she'd eat breakfast with them. Lou told her he never did it unless Lizzy was over and she never knew why until now. Her real father just wanted to make her happy. A single tear drops down from her closed lids and lands onto her lap.

Cathy and Brian head out the door as Dean watches them leave. That couldn't have gone any worse. He waits, giving her the time to process everything. He's shocked when after only a few seconds she lifts her head, face now serious and set.

"Let's go," she says, pushing out of the booth.

"L…"

"Dean, let's go," she determinedly and angrily says, already a few steps closer to the doorway. He knows what he's looking at immediately. Lizzy's taking the anger road. Fucking great. He quickly pays for the meal he didn't eat with what he has left in his wallet and walks quickly out the door behind her.

* * *

Pizza crusts and paper plates littering the motel room, Sammy and Dean are now sitting quietly on the couch, enthralled by the Ghostbusters rerun. Dean quotes nearly the whole thing earning annoyed looks from Sammy as he hates when Dean talks over the movie. Sam and John have settled into the table, John's research splayed out across the surface as they quietly chat, keeping their words out of ear shot of the kids.

"I was hoping this bastard would show two nights ago on the full moon, but nothing," John explains. "No vics with missing hearts anywhere in a hundred mile radius."

"Hmm," Sam hums while reading over the police report from the first victim. "Usually a werewolf doesn't stray too far from its home."

"Exactly why I'm fresh outta explanations for this one," John complains.

"At least you know it probably hasn't turned anyone else since there've been no more attacks," Sam comments heavily. This case is bringing up a lot of difficult memories for Sam.

"God, I hope not," John huffs. "Don't want to have to go tracking down the wolf that turned the other wolf that turned the last wolf... well, you get what I'm saying."

"Yeah, it doesn't actually work that way," Sam lets him know. "You can't return a person back to being human after it's gone werewolf, not even by killing the wolf that turned that person. That's just an old rumor."

"Really?" John says with surprise.

"Unfortunately, yeah," Sam returns sadly.

"Sounds like you know from experience," John pries while grabbing his journal.

"I do," Sam quietly confirms, the pain of losing Madison still hitting him hard to this day.

"So you two are a working together, huh?" John asks as he opens his much thinner journal to the werewolf entry in order to add the newly confirmed information. "The Winchester boys taking care of business?"

"Yeah, we are. We make a pretty decent team, actually."

"Makes me happy to hear," John tells Sam with a smile. "I'm glad you boys are working together. You can trust each other, you're blood. It's perfect."

"It can be. I mean, don't get me wrong. Having my brother as backup it great. But Dean's still a huge pain in the ass and we still have our moments," Sam lets John know.

"I can assume," John smirks after the fight they walked into earlier.

"But Lizzy's around and she helps to curb that when she can. She's made living with Dean a lot easier."

"She seems pretty important to you two," John observes. "They been together a while?" He's curious about the girl his son is very clearly in love with.

"Yeah, it's been some time," Sam answer. "But it feels like it's been forever… which is a good thing, I think."

"And they're, ah... good?" John implores with total concern and curiosity.

"They're ridiculous," Sam admits. "She's perfect for him. She eats too much, drinks too much, has way too much…" Sam pauses, reminding himself that he's talking with his father and should leave his eldest son's sex life out of this conversation. "…Love for music. And whatever Dean's lacking in, she helps him with. And vice versa. It's a pretty solid thing they got going."

"If you ask me, she seems like she'd eat him alive," John remarks while pointing to his face, having already seen the strength and power that is Lizzy. "She's a tough one."

"Let's just say she keeps him well in check," Sam huffs. "Lizzy's good to have around."

John looks down at his journal and smiles something proud. Sam can tell he's happy that there is hope for his kids in hunting. It may be minimal hope, but it's hope all the same.

"And for what it's worth, I like her a lot," Sam reassures as he praises Lizzy. "She's not only there for Dean at the drop of a hat, she's there for me too. Lizzy's caring and strong and she holds us together. Hell, she's become my go to as much as she's Dean's."

"Guess she wasn't lying then," John remarks while writing.

"About what?" Sam implores.

"She told me you were like her brother," John tells him, peering up at Sam. "That she's become family."

"Definitely," Sam grins, knowing how true that was.

"Well, she must have earned that then," John remarks. "We Winchesters don't let people in very easily."

"No we don't, and trust me. She's earned it."

"To get me to give up Mary's bracelet for her to have, she damn well must have." John laughs as Sam does what he can to force a completely insincere smile.

"Hell, she's a Winchester in all but name at this point," Sam admits, knowing he's repeating exactly what his brother has said in the past.

John nods, accepting that their family has grown in the future. He likes the idea of that.

"So what do you think?" John nods to the research once he's done writing. He's looking for Sam's well versed insight.

"Well, I think there's no werewolf, honestly," Sam tells his father. "One random kill that has wolf written all over it and then nothing? Sounds like a copycat."

"What do you think did it then?" John wonders, never having seen a creature copy another creature's kill.

"We ran into a shifter pretty recently that did this kinda thing," Sam says, remembering the severely damaged shapeshifter that mimicked monsters from movies. "But I doubt that's it. There would be a clear motive around the murder if it was."

"Yeah, there's definitely no clear motive on this one," John returns. "Damn it, there's no hunt here, is there?"

"Whatever was here is definitely gone now. I'd say no," Sam sadly answers, looking over at Sammy and Dean on the couch. No hunt means moving on and moving on means a new school. "Hey, um, dad?"

John looks over to Sam with the hint of a smile, liking the way dad sounded coming out of his much older son's mouth.

"You think you could hang out for a little bit maybe?" Sam asks of him. "Stick around here. Let them stay in one place for a just a little while?"

Furrowing his brow, John just stares back, making Sam think he's made a mistake.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't say stuff like that…"

"Yes you should," John interjects. "You're talking about your own life. Look, I know I'm not dad of the year. I know I've given the two of you a difficult life to live, but there are reasons for that."

"Believe me, I know that," Sam quickly tells him. "I know all about that. And you picked the right path for us. We needed to grow up this way. You know what's coming for me, what happened to me and what's gonna happen. I know you do."

Nodding slowly while looking sadly over at little Sammy, John confirms Sam's suspicions.

"And because of you and how you raised us, Dean and I were ready to fight when the time came. We were never going to outrun what life had, and still has, in store for us. The only reason we're around right now, alive and still fighting, is because of you."

"Well I'll be damned," John grins softly. "You know every day I wake up and second guess myself. Wonder if this is right, wonder if I'm choosing the right thing for you boys. This… hearing you say that…." He sighs and washes his hand down his face, the relief spreading through him as he looks over at his two sons that he loves more than anything. He clears his throat suddenly and changes the subject, an old Winchester trick for when emotions threaten to take over. "You've been here awhile. Think I should drive you back over? Check on your brother and the girl?"

"Crap, yeah. Probably a good idea," Sam answers.

"You two wanna go for a spin?" John calls over to his sons on the couch.

"Where to?" Dean asks immediately.

"Gonna drop Tom off at his house," John explains, standing and grabbing his jacket. "It'll get you guys outta the motel for a while."

"Ok," Sammy responds while getting up. Dean follows suit and all four pile into the Impala together.

* * *

 


	12. She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister

* * *

"That doesn't sound good," Sam says when he gets out of the Impala parked out front of his temporary home and looks over to the house they're occupying. He can hear Lizzy's angry voice from inside it and he knows that at this point Dean could probably use his assistance, or another person to take some of the heat at least.

"Should I come in?" John asks out the rolled down window.

"I'll leave that up to you," Sam answers, not taking his eyes off the house as he grows more worried. "When Lizzy gets mad, it isn't good… at all."

"Well now it sounds like you could use the help," John comments, getting out of the car to join Sam. "You boys stay here. I'll be right back."

"Yes sir," Dean complains, tired of always waiting in the car or the motel.

"Just don't say I didn't warn you," Sam says over his shoulder to his dad while jogging towards the house.

Sam pushes through the side door, walking quickly through the house towards the sound of heated voices, John hot on his heels. They come upon Lizzy and Dean standing on opposite sides of the living room.

"Why did I have to find this shit out at all!?" Lizzy loudly yells, her emotions taking over like they always do. She's so damn emotional it's exhausting, Sam thinks momentarily. "I don't understand how this helps anything!"

"Lizzy, you gotta quiet down," Dean warns with a tentative step in her direction. "There are neighbors a few houses down. We don't need any cops coming and finding us."

"Who gives a shit!? My world is fucked! My mom's a whore, Dean! A total whore," Lizzy shouts. "And my dad isn't my dad! What the fuck!?"

"So you found out, huh?" Sam sadly asks after she makes it clear that she did. Unfortunately, he realizes his mistake after it's been made. Lizzy freezes, her eyes staring icy daggers into him, completely ignoring John's presence in the room. She holds very still while her anger builds to a whole new level at what he says.

"You knew," she spits out at him with a low, scary tone. She looks over to Dean whose face gives him away instantly. She whips her arm out to point accusingly at him with a dropped jaw. "So did you!"

"Way to go, Sam," Dean sarcastically says to his brother who is now standing next to him. "Good job."

"You both fucking knew!?" Lizzy shouts, taking long fast strides towards Dean as she does. "You let me walk into that diner blind!?" She shoves him hard in the chest, making him back up a few steps. "You didn't even warn me! What the fuck, Dean!?"

"Lizzy, it was only a theory. We weren't sure," Sam tries to explain, but the fire growing within her won't hear it.

"Oh no!? You weren't sure!?" Lizzy turns her attention to Sam, her fists already balled and ready.

"No," Dean quickly returns, trying his best to get Lizzy's ire off of Sam. She was his girl and if she's gonna try and pummel anyone it'll be him. "We had a clue but there was no proof so we didn't say anything. We didn't want to burden you for no reason."

"Oh yeah, good move," Lizzy returns angrily. "This is  _so_  much better!"

"Seriously, calm the fuck down," Dean tries one last time.

"Nice job on these two, John!" Lizzy finally recognizes the now nervous man. "A couple of conversationally stunted assholes you created here!"

"Hey! Whoa!" Dean holds his hands out at the insult, ready to move in if she speaks that way to his father again. He knows she's angry, but she's about to take it too far. "Little too much, L!"

"I would  _never_  do this to you two!" Lizzy shouts again while looking between the younger Winchesters. "I have been nothing but honest with both of you since the day we met! I would have told you the minute I found out!"

"And in hindsight we should have too," Sam tells her. "We feel awful about this. We absolutely should have told you."

"Damn straight you should have told me!" Lizzy shouts. "I had to find out, completely unprepared, that Paul was never my actual father! The man I called dad every fucking day of my life was completely betrayed by my mom and Brian is my fucking father!"

"Lizzy, I'm sure they meant well by not telling you," John speaks up, feeling the sudden need to protect his sons from her ire.

"They meant well? My God damned neighbor is my father, but your kids meant well! Shit! My poor father. And Lou's mother, oh God. She didn't deserve that! She was like my second mom. I'm… I'm…" Lizzy's face drops suddenly and it softens for the first time since they got back from the diner. The air in the room grow thick while the three men wait. She sighs in a defeated tone. "Shit. I'm Louie's sister."

She says it quietly, the discovery almost audibly shattering her heart into pieces. Sam and Dean don't move a muscle. Lizzy's anger has a tendency to burst through when least expected so until they're sure they aren't about to get socked, they give her a moment.

"She was my real sister," Lizzy says evenly. " _My_ sister."

She hadn't let herself think about it this way before. The deceit and lies her mother lived every day and the anger Lizzy has over it clouded her ability to really think about what having Brain as her biological father really means. It means her father isn't her real father, it means her mother is a cheater, but most importantly it means that she has a little brother and a very important sister.

"It's not so different, L," Dean tries to rationalize in a calmer tone. "You already considered her like a sister, right?"

"Right," Lizzy absently agrees, only partially hearing him.

"Now, it's just true," Dean explains. "You loved Lou and you still do. This doesn't change anything. You still would have had the same exact relationship with her."

Without another word, Lizzy sits down on the couch and folds her hands in her lap, staring blankly at the plain white wall across from her. She zones her mind out, finding it easier to drill holes into the white abyss in front of her than to allow it to think. Her thought process stops temporarily and she sighs loudly.

"L?" Dean calls out to her after a few moments of complete silence from her. She's scaring him. This isn't her usual way of dealing with heavy things. She punched shit or chewed someone out, or hell, she sometimes dragged him off somewhere to take her frustrations out on him with some good old-fashioned angry sex, but she never did this before. She never did… nothing. "If this is a mental breakdown, you gotta let me know," he half-jokingly tells her.

Her expression changes to a concentrated one as she tilts her head and closes her eyes. She has no idea what she's concentrating on, but something in her makes her do it. She feels her emotional stress and pain being projected outward and suddenly Lizzy knows he's on his way.

The flapping of wings are heard and suddenly Castiel is standing in the corner of the room looking over at her. His concern is clear on his even more stoic than usual face.

"You're hurt," Castiel more states than asks, hand grasping firmly to his blade.

"Holy shit!" John jumps when Castiel pops into the room out of thin air. It shocks him and he reaches for his flask of holy water, but Sam interrupts him.

"It's ok," he tells John, a hand on his forearm to stop him. "He's the angel Lizzy told you about. Same team."

As John watches with wide eyes, Castiel ignores John's being there.

"Where are you hurt?" Castiel asks taking steps toward her, ignoring all others in his presence. She was his priority in the moment and if she needed healing, that's what he is going to do.

"No, I'm not hurt," Lizzy explains up to him with confusion. "And I didn't pray for you either."

"I felt you," Castiel explains. "I felt your pain. You seemed injured."

"I ..I didn't mean to call out to you, Cas. I'm sorry. I just…" Lizzy trails off, unsure of how to even explain what she's feeling and thinking.

"I'm failing to understand," Castiel admits as he walks to stand right in front of her seated form. He drops a hand on top of her head, closes his eyes and concentrates. "You are indeed hurt."

"No, I'm fine," Lizzy tries again, hands now checking herself for injury as he's making her second guess herself with his certainty.

"No you are not," Castiel says, taking a rigid seat next to her. "You're hurting a fair amount. But it isn't physical. It's purely emotional. You hurt this way when Lou died. And when Dean was sent to hell."

"Hell?" John's eyes fly wide, staring over at his eldest son. "Dean!?"

"Later," Dean tries to brush off in a hard tone. That was not a conversation he wanted share with his past father, especially when to him he's just his eleven year old son. No, that conversation is far too much.

"Where you there for me back then too?" she questions, getting the feeling he's been there for her without her knowing quite often. Looking to him with innocent and saddened eyes, she asks again. "Like when I was a kid? Where you around?"

Castiel just looks at her thoughtfully for a moment, his blue eyes searching her face. "Yes, I was. I see you have done your research."

"Why is this happening, Cas? Why do I have to know all this?" Her voice elevates and her eyes watering. Castiel's face wrinkles, as if the pain she feels is his own. Dean and Sam are taken by surprise. Normally the angel was a blank slate, his face never registering any form of emotion.

"I felt you deserved to know," Castiel explains to her.

"But why?" Lizzy begs to him, eyes spilling over. "Why couldn't I think Paul was my real dad? Why do I have to know that Lou is my sister? It hurts so bad, Cas. Why?"

Castiel drops a hand over his chest as he sits alongside the crying woman.

"Elizabeth, I have been with you your entire life," Castiel explains. "The last thing I want for you is to be upset or hurt. That is not my aim, though I feared it would be a side effect."

"Is that your way of saying sorry?" Lizzy asks incredulously. Castiel just looks to her, head tilted to the side.

"Yes."

"Well you suck at it," Lizzy sobs as she peers over to Castiel. "I know you wouldn't try to hurt me. I know. But I just don't want to in on this stuff."

"Would you think it fair of me to always keep you from the truth?" Castiel wonders. He's let her in on almost everything, most of the secretive parts of her life, because she did in fact deserve to know and after following her his whole life he had been sure she'd prefer to be informed rather than in the dark.

"No," Lizzy tells him after contemplating the question for some time. "You're right, I should know." Lizzy pauses, closes her eyes. "Was she supposed to die? Like that?"

"I assume you speak of Louise," Castiel returns.

"Yes," Lizzy answers. "Was she supposed to die before we found this out?"

"You never were supposed to know," Castiel explains. "Heaven's plan does not include either of you ever finding out about your familial bond." Castiel sighs and reaches to take Lizzy's hand that is resting on the couch beside her, Lizzy surprised when he does. "It has been the most difficult part of my duties over the past twenty-six years. I know the love you each had for the other. I wanted you to know, but I was always denied the ability to let you in on it. I apologize for that. I should have…"

"Done exactly what you did," Lizzy finishes for him while looking down at their interlocked hands resting on the couch within the space between them. "Don't blame yourself so much. As much as I am hurting, you did the right thing."

"Yes, well," Castiel brushes aside the understanding moment. "And no, Lou was not supposed to die. Her death was a surprise to all of us."

"So not everything is planned out?" Sam pipes in from the sidelines.

"Most things are not in fact preplanned by heaven," the angel confirms. "Just certain people and certain events have the helping hand of my father… and in turn angels like me. Believe me, Lou's death was not my father's doing. In fact, we were all highly disappointed when that happened."

"Why?" Lizzy asks with a little alarm.

"She…" Castiel pauses, guilty eyes looking to Sam briefly before returning to Lizzy's. He can't look at Sam for this one. He felt too badly for him. "She has half of your bloodline and all the knowledge you do. She made for an excellent backup plan."

"Backup plan?" Lizzy asks. "Backup for what?"

"For you," Castiel explains cryptically. "She could never be as strong as you but if need be she could take your job if necessary."

"The job you won't tell me about," Lizzy remarks and gets silence in return.

"But you can bring people back, right?" Dean adds in. "I mean you yanked my ass outta the pit. Can't you just do the same for Lou?"

"My father has to command that and the task would be quite difficult with where she is," Castiel answers. "Although, I would be willing to do it. Lou would still be here if I had any say. I truly believe she deserves a second chance."

"Me too," Lizzy remarks quietly. "What now?"

"Now, we get you back," Castiel tells her while standing. "You have learned all you can here and the other angels will be thrown off if I return you now."

"But I still don't understand so much," Lizzy pleads. "I mean, why? Why are the Winchesters here? Why don't… oh shit!"

Lizzy and Castiel stand and look upward at the same time, causing Sam and Dean fear.

"What is it?" Dean asks with alarm watching as Castiel tightens his grip on his sword, looking at the ready to fight.

"Cas was followed," Lizzy tells them. "And they're fucking pissed off."

"Stand together, quickly!" Castiel loudly commands.

Lizzy reaches out, taking Dean in one hand and Sam in the other. Dean peers over to John one last time, exchanging a look to let him know he's sorry they had to go so soon.

"Get him back?" Dean asks of Castiel, wanting to ensure his father's safety.

"Of course." Castiel's hand moves towards Lizzy, ready to fly them back to their own time, when he stops cold.

"What's the hold up?" Dean asks quickly.

"No!" Lizzy suddenly shouts, turning sharply to John. "John! Are Dean and Sammy out front!?"

Without answering, John is sprinting for the side door, backtracking quickly out to the front yard. He stops the second he steps out of the house, fear gripping every nerve in his body when he sees a stranger standing between him and the car.

"Hello, John Winchester."

* * *

 


	13. The Perfect Match

* * *

"Hello, John Winchester."

As the rest of the group catches up, John is caught completely off guard by the presence of the stranger.

"Where are my boys!?" he demands when he sees the empty car behind the large suited man standing on the grass in the front yard. His heart begins racing immediately.

"With all the hype around your children, I thought the great Johnny Winchester would be more… impressive," the man patronizingly chides as he casually paces around the yard, hands behind his back and eyeing John in an aloof manner.

"Uriel!" Dean shouts out, running to his dad's side while highly disturbed to see the sinister angel suddenly visiting them. "What did you do!?"

"Hello Dean, Sam, Lizzy… and Castiel. Ah, good to see you brother."

"What are you doing, Uriel?" Castiel booms out as he steps in front of the group, sword at the ready, as he prepares to keep his human cohorts safe.

"Trying to undo all of the tremendous damage you're already caused," Uriel angrily responds. "You are well aware that what you are doing is highly against orders."

"I beg to differ," Castiel sharply returns. "Orders or not, I did the right thing. This poor girl deserves to understand what is happening to her."

"And you think that will end well?" Uriel asks with surprise and eyes narrowed at his fellow angel.

"Regardless of how it ends, Elizabeth is a good person," Castiel defends, lifting his sword little high. "Having watched over her since birth, I know this to be absolute fact."

"Ah yes, the sniveling, pathetic animal with good intentions. She is just another pathetic cockroach under our feet, Castiel. That is all. She is not the saint you seem to view her as. I think we all can agree on that, right?" Uriel rebuts, cocking an eyebrow at Lizzy as he does.

"No, but who the hell likes saints anyways," Dean comments in her defense. "Bunch a' fucking no-fun prudes if you ask me."

"Such quick wit," Uriel quips with disdain. "Those oh so clever one-liners always spewing from your ever flapping mouth without a single thought. You really are a one of a kind, Dean."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Dean returns with a serious tone.

"Don't," Uriel answers back quickly.

"Where are they!?" John shouts out, ready to know what it is that happened to his kids. All this talking isn't getting him any closer to finding them.

"They are in a safe place." Uriel smiles, his pure malice for the humans clear as day. "I simply took them for collateral."

"Collateral against what?" Sam yells over to the powerful angel.

"Against you getting away," he explains to the group in front of him. "You flee and go back to your own time, knowledge still intact, I make sure you cease to exist when you get there. The childhood version of you won't take another single breath."

"No!" John shouts out.

"So either you let me take away your newly acquired information, or…" Uriel's grin grow a little in size. "Cute little Sammy and his brother Dean will not get to see another day."

"Relax, he's full of shit," Dean challenges while eyeing Uriel with hate. "They've been so hard into us for a while now that I'm pretty sure they need us around. They can't kill us."

"Don't be so damn certain," Uriel lies. "You two are a dime a dozen. Foul mouthed, drunken hunters with poor decision-making skills… not exactly difficult to come by."

"Uriel, I am warning you…" Castiel begins.

"Oh please, you warn me Cas?" he arrogantly interrupts. "I don't think so. You've grown weak and untrustworthy."

"Fine!" Lizzy breaks in, ready to end the verbal fighting and get the kids back. "You bring them back right now, give the kids back to John unharmed, you do whatever you have to do to us."

"L, no," Dean says to her pleadingly.

"Why not? What would be the point of knowing about my past if you two ceased to exist when we got to our time?" Lizzy asks him while covering the few steps between them. She places a hand on his arm and looks up to him sincerely. "Already told you, I'm not doing this life without you. I'd rather be in the dark about my own life than be without you and Sam."

"But that's not right…" Dean tells her.

"No shit, but what choice do we have?" Lizzy says right back.

"You need to know!" Dean gets angry with her way of thinking. "You deserve to!"

"Not at the cost of your fucking lives!" Lizzy yells back, letting her hand drop. "Are you nuts!?"

"Can we save this little domestic dispute for another time?" Uriel calls out, ending their argument were it was. "In the name of my father! Aren't you two supposed to agree on everything?"

"That's kind of a rarity actually," Dean counters with annoyance. "We like to keep the spice in the relationship."

"Ah yes. The extraordinary bond formed by father himself between two mud monkeys," Uriel mysteriously says. "Look at you two. It's amazing how good we really are. Aren't we Cas?"

"Uriel," Castiel warns out with both anger and fear in his voice but Uriel just keeps smiling in return before looking back to Dean and Lizzy.

"So Dean, it appears that you appreciate our hard work greatly."

"What are you blabbing about?" Dean asks with utter confusion. "What work?"

"Lizzy, of course," Uriel proclaims. "We made her to be exactly what you'd want after all."

"What!?" Lizzy immediately asks with total fright over the heavy statement. Her eyes nearly pop out of her skull as she takes a step in Uriel's direction.

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean asks, face scrunched and feeling disgusted already by the angel's brazen words.

"Like you haven't wondered about how oddly similar you are without a hint of suspicion attached a few times," Uriel spits out while looking to Dean. "She likes your music. She loves food and eats as much as you do. She curses, she hunts, she is highly attractive, and to top it off she is almost as big a slut as you are, Dean."

"Watch your fucking mouth!" Dean shouts, angry to hear the angel speak of his Lizzy that way.

"And who else could ever understand you as much as she does?" he keeps going, ignoring Dean's threat. "She lost her parents to a demon, she was thrust into the hunting life, you even share an adoptive father figure. Did you not ever stop and think about how similar your lives are? What are the chances that it's just a random occurrence?"

"You fucking asshole!" Lizzy bursts out, fists balled as she takes large, anger-filled steps in Uriel's direction. Sam, knowing her well, reaches out and grabs her around the waist, holding her back as she fights against him while still shouting. "I am  _not_  some moldable, impressionable bitch for you to use as you like!"

"That is  _exactly_  what you are," Uriel informs her heatedly, the fire in his voice coming through clearly. "We molded you into the perfect match for Dean Winchester. That was always your purpose, since birth. You wanted to know everything, did you not? Well there it is. You were made by us for our purposes and only our purposes."

"Fuck you!" Lizzy screams in sheer madness as she begins to fight harder against Sam with all she has. "I'll kill you!"

"That's not true," Dean comments while stunned, turning to Castiel. "That's not true… Cas?"

Castiel's silence as he looks to the grass beneath his feet confirms it all.

"No," Dean lets slip out while looking at her, anger toppling her much better judgment. There's no way that could possibly be true. Why would heaven care enough about him to do that? How could he live with this information?

"Sam, let go of me!" Lizzy fights still, her fists landing on his arms hard. Sam flinches when the sharp metal of his mother's charm bracelet stabs into his forearm.

"You can't take him on, Lizzy!" Sam shouts to her, trying to talk some sense into her, as John steps towards the two with the intentions of helping Sam hold her back. Before he can get to her, Lizzy stomps on Sam's foot hard, making him groan in pain and loosen his grip just enough. Her training comes in quite handy now as she slips out of Sam's slackened hold on her easily with her self-defense background. She pushes past John and barrels by Castiel, swiping his sword from him in the process.

"I am not just some pawn for you winged ass-fucks to get what you want out of Dean!" she darkly informs Uriel as she approaches him quickly. She twirls the silver angel blade in her hand expertly before gripping tight as she goes in for an attack. "I am exactly who I want to be, exactly who my parents made me."

"You mean who your lying whore of a mother and fake father made you?" Uriel evilly provokes, still cool and collected as Lizzy eyes him.

"Don't you dare talk about my family," she glaringly warns, moving in to strike. Raising the blade above her head she drops it down hard, only to find the angel brought out his own blade and blocks her blow with it.

"And do not think for a second that you have a chance of winning this fight," Uriel growls, pushing her away from him. "This is not a battle you could ever win. I suggest you stand down."

This makes her even more angry and Lizzy, after recovering from her few steps backwards after being pushed, moves in again.

"Lizzy, stop!" Dean shouts, taking steps in her direction but having Castiel hold his hand out and stop him. "Do something!" he asks desperately of Castiel.

"He won't hurt her," Castiel assures.

"How the hell do you know?" Dean asks loudly.

"We have our orders," Castiel cryptically explains. "Lizzy is off limits."

Dean looks at Castiel with utter shock and horror before turning back to the mini battle playing out on the front lawn. She's off limits which means she's seriously important. Shit.

Uriel deftly blocks every blade swipe and punch thrown by Lizzy. He was right, she is no match for him. Lizzy finally sees an opening and grabs Castiel's blade with both hands. She brings it in with all intentions of thrusting it straight through the angel's stomach. Before she can take the shot, Uriel calmly reaches out and presses two fingers to her forehead. Her body instantly drops lifelessly into a heap at Uriel's feet.

Dean and Sam are sprinting to her before she even hits the ground.

"I suggest you stay back," Uriel evenly warns, blade pointed in their direction. "Unless you want me to inflict some serious damage on this young lady."

"You won't," Dean challenges with dark anger, knowing he can't after what Castiel just told him.

"Try me, monkey boy," Uriel smirks and the brothers both freeze, neither ready to be responsible for any harm falling on her on the off chance that Uriel goes rogue. He already seems more than vindictive as is. "She is fine," he explains, his wingtip poking into her side. "Consider it an involuntary nap. Now, since you clearly aren't all in agreement here, I'll do you this one favor. I'll give you twelve hours to come to a decision. I'll find you then and I'll either erase your brains or the kids die."

"You son of a bitch!" John shouts out, having a difficult time dealing with the idea that his kids are in such danger. He's working tirelessly his whole life to avoid this kind of thing from happening. It's his worst nightmare come true.

"Watch your tone with me," Uriel says quickly back before happily leaving them with his departing words. "You have until tomorrow morning."

With that, the angel is gone, leaving disagreements, fear, and an unconscious Lizzy to take over where he left off.

"Cas!" Dean shouts on his way across the lawn to Lizzy with Sam hot on his heels. He lands on the grass at her side, lifting her head into his lap. "Wake her up!"

Castiel strides quickly to the slumped woman and presses his fingers to her forehead, eliciting a large, loud inhale from her as her eyes pop open.

"Hey, relax," Dean softly tells her with a hand on her cheek. "You're good."

"Dean?" she looks with wild eyes up at him. "What happened?"

"You went off the rails, as I believe the saying goes," Castiel angrily remarks, roughly taking back his blade that was still in her hand. "Not a smart idea, Elizabeth."

"Not at all," Sam adds, upset with her way of reacting to such a powerful being. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I was angry," Lizzy admits while sitting up. "The things he said… Cas, was he telling the truth?"

Castiel looks down at her with hardened eyes. "We will discuss this later. Right now, we need to get Dean and Sam back where they belong. One issue at a time."

"They have my kids," John says in a panic a few feet back. He hasn't moved through the whole ordeal. He couldn't. "Shit, my kids are with that asshole."

"And we'll get them back," Sam reassures quickly.

"John, they will be returned to you," Castiel repeats. "I will make sure of it." Castiel disappears.

"Where the fuck…" John starts.

"He's off doing work," Lizzy explains, her eyes closed in concentration. "He's getting us weapons and searching for Dean and Sammy. He'll be back soon."

"Alright, let's get back inside," Sam suggests. "We need to figure out what we're going to do."

* * *

 


	14. They're Fine.  They're Together.

* * *

An hour after Uriel's departure, the four hunters are still in the living room of the model home, Dean, Sam and John standing and thinking aloud while trying to come up with a plan. They're getting nowhere fast as they have no weapons and no way to find the location of the young Dean and Sammy without Castiel's help. Lizzy, however, is sitting curled up in the corner of the couch. She's been silent since they got back inside. With everything Uriel dropped on them, she's at a loss.

"I think we really just have to wait for Cas to get back," Sam finally concludes. "We're kinda screwed without him."

"He'll know what to do, or at least have some info for us," Dean concurs while glancing over at Lizzy for the millionth time. He's worried about her, and worried may not be the best word for it. He's scared. And he's unsure of how to approach her after the reason she's nearly comatose is technically his fault. Being told she only exists to make him happy… that's beyond heavy.

Looking over to Sam for some kind of help, his brother offers no answers as he has none. Both stare powerlessly at the other, neither knowing what to say or do.

"Ah, boys, why don't you go out front and grab whatever you can from the trunk that you think would come in useful," John suggests while tossing the keys to Sam. "You'd know what's worth having on us better than I would."

Dean gives John a questioning look, hesitant to leave him with Lizzy like this. John just nods, giving Dean the assurance he needs. The brothers goes outside and John very slowly makes his way to the couch, sitting on the middle cushion next to Lizzy.

"I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass," John starts in a serious tone. "I know there's nothing I can say to make any of what you're going through better."

Shocked to hear his open dialogue, Lizzy looks over to him and locks eyes. He's sympathetic towards her, she can tell.

"Thanks," Lizzy says quietly in return, honestly thankful to not hear any 'it's fine, everything will work out' kind of bullshit. There's no way anything is fine. She hates when people brush off massive issues and act like they aren't as big as they are. Thankfully John isn't like that.

"But I do know that you're strong," John tells her. "Stronger than most. Sam told me earlier that you're a hell of a girl and now I've seen it firsthand. I'd want to kill that son of a bitch too." He looks to her knowingly and Lizzy nods her head. "Hell, I do."

"It was a really stupid move on my part though," she admits quietly to the legendary hunter who must look at her like a fool after what she did. "I tend to do that sometimes, let my anger win… though I've gotten better once Dean got on my ass about it. From day one when we met he's been trying to make me better and help me manage my anger issues."

"How's he done that?" John asks, wondering how anyone could rein in this woman. She's a time bomb he's beginning to think.

"He, uh," Lizzy pauses. Maybe telling Dean's own father from a past time that usually when she blows her top his son will fuck the anger right out of her was a bad idea. "He came up with an alternate to throwing punches that works for me."

"Should I even ask?" John prods with narrowed eyes.

"Probably not," Lizzy responds.

"Yeah," John says while patting her knee. "Well at least you know that he's there to help you and make you a better person just like you are for him. No matter what the angels say, sounds like you guys are a two way street."

"We are," she agrees. "Dean's done more for me than I could ever explain. It's definitely a mutual thing we've got."

"Wonder if they planned on that," John thinks aloud.

"Most likely," Lizzy grumbles pessimistically.

"Either way, I need you in this fight," John tells her, his business like tone returning. "I know it hurts, I know it's unfair, but unless you help me get my boys back, there will be no Dean for you to be with or not in the future."

"I know," Lizzy says back, seeing his logic for exactly what it is.

"So time to sack up, soldier," John tells her sternly. "Let's go get my kids."

She shares a tight-lipped grin with John and sighs after his little pep talk starts to sink in and stick with her.

"Damn, you're pretty good at that," Lizzy says to him, sitting up tall and agreeing with his rational completely.

"Lots of practice," he explains.

Lizzy wraps her arms around John's neck, thanking him for the new perspective she so badly needed. Dean. It's the one thing that's going to keep her going. He's still there and they can figure it all out after. It's become their motto. Family first and we'll figure the rest out later.

It's then that Dean and Sam come back in, a duffel over Sam's shoulder, to find the two they left inside embracing on the couch. Lizzy breaks the hug, dropping a kiss on John cheek before cupping his face in her hands and making a vow to him.

"I will get them back, John. You've been unrightfully involved into this mess, just like your kids have. This has been all about me so I'll get them back to you, I promise you that."

Lizzy lets go and sits back again while closing her eyes, trying her best to find Castiel. It's been a while since they last saw him and she feels they need to have him back in order to make a plan of attack.

"Where is he?" Dean asks, knowing just what she's up to. It's only been a few days since they figured out that she had this ability, but he knows she's using it when he sees it.

"Far… really far," she says through closed lids and a concentrated face. "But on Earth. He'll be here soon."

"What'd you grab?" John asks, getting up from his seat and walking towards Sam. Sam unzips the duffel and grabs a few items.

"Knives," Sam tells him. "And this." He hands over a paper with a sigil drawn on it.

"What do I do with this?" John questions while sliding one of the small knives Sam gave him into his back pocket.

"It's the only thing we have against angels," Dean explains. "It's kinda like a distraction, like iron or salt to a ghost. Makes then back off and disappear for a bit, but only for a bit."

"And, um, it has to be done in blood," Sam keeps going. "It's drawn on a wall, a door, pick a surface and when you high-five the shit outta it the angels disappear."

John nods, pocketing the paper and finding himself even more worried for his kids. Sigils in blood is only a distraction? These things mean business.

"It'll be ok, John," Lizzy explains after watching his face twist. "I've never broken a single promise in my life. I'm not starting now." Lizzy's words come out dark and brooding, something feral and protective within them. "Cas is coming."

"About damn time," Dean complains as the angel appears in the living room.

"Sorry I took so long," Castiel says with clear annoyance at Dean's remark while staring at him. "The items I had to procure were not easy to come by."

"What did you get?" Sam asks quickly, ready to get moving.

"These." He holds up three angel's blades. "They were not easy to get," he explains sadly. " _Do not_  lose these."

"Did you find out where they're being kept?" John hopefully asks.

"Yes," Castiel explains. "They're in a cabin in remote Alberta."

"Canada?" Sam asks with shock.

"Isn't all of Canada remote?" Dean quips quickly.

"Most of it," Castiel returns. "I can take us there. We can evaluate the situation once we arrive."

Lizzy pulls everyone into a line, holding hands and ready to go. Castiel gives her a look, an almost smile if she hadn't known better, and she nods her readiness. Castiel drops his hand on her head and they're gone.

* * *

"What can I do to make you more comfortable?" Uriel stiffly asks the two young children sitting at the long, splintered wooden table in the middle of a ramshackle, two room cabin. Sammy looks to him with guarded fear, not really wanting to ever answer this unknown man. He knew strangers were bad, dad had told him so several times before. He and Dean knew better than to trust someone they don't know. Now this stranger teleported them like some Sci-Fi movie Dean would make him watch to a scary, dark house and he's officially frightened.

"Yeah, that's not creepy," young Dean remarks from across the table from Sammy, thinking this guy's question is not exactly comforting like it's supposed to be.

"Dean! Dad said not to talk to strangers!" Sammy warns his brother in a loud whisper, worried for his safety.

"Isn't that just adorable," Uriel darkly comments. "I'm not here to make you uncomfortable, boys. I can get you whatever you require."

"What's the catch?" the world weary Dean questions.

"No catch," he's told.

"Well that's just a load of crap," Dean responds, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back with an eye roll.

"No crap here, boy," Uriel assures him. "Go ahead. Ask for something, anything."

"Bring us back to our dad," Dean answers very quickly, Sammy sitting up and looking to the intimidating man with wide and hopeful eyes.

"You could have anything in the world and you choose your father?" Uriel asks in disbelief.

"Definitely," Dean answers with absolute certainty.

"Yeah," Sammy concurs brightly, hoping to go back.

"You want to go back to John? The guy who leaves you alone for days on end? The guy who orders you around and sucks the fun right outta your lives?"

"Our dad is a super hero," Dean angrily spits back. "So yeah, we'd like to go back now."

Silence fills the dining room as the angel considers his predicament.

"No," Uriel simply says to Dean.

"Why not?" Dean asks loudly, annoyed that he was told to ask for something and when he did it wasn't given to him. "You just said…"

"You'll see him tomorrow morning," the intimidating angel interrupts. "For now, you stay here."

"Kidnapping is a felony, you know," Dean once more angrily says.

"And so should smart ass comments like that be!" Uriel shouts, losing his patience over the child's relentless quips. Both Winchester kids stare with bug eyes at the outburst, the fear actually hitting Dean for the first time since they got to the cabin. The angel then leaves them, disappearing into the night air before the kids' eyes.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sammy asks from across the table, his body rigid with fear.

"Not sure," Dean answers. "But I do know dad's on his way. He'll come and get us."

"How do you know?" Sammy worries.

"Because he's dad," Dean huffs. "I wasn't joking when I said he was a super hero. He'll come for us. I swear it."

"I hope so…" Sammy worries, curling up in the seat as he looks around the dingy and long abandoned cabin. "I want to go home."

"Me too, dude," Dean tells his little brother as he looks around the small area, devising some kind of plan if he can. "Me too."

* * *

"This is the joint?" Dean comments once they've arrived at their intended destination. The group is situated behind the tree line about a hundred yards from the place Castiel brings them to.

"Yes," Castiel confirms as the group looks over the small and darkened log cabin situated in a snow blanketed clearing in front of them. The front has a crooked door in the center and a window to either side. The middle of the roof is sagging with decay and wear and it appears that no one has touched the place in decades.

"Scary place for a couple kids to be dropped into," Sam says aloud.

"They're fine," John assures. "They're together in there. They're ok."

"Hey," Lizzy calls out while pointing to one of the windows in the front of the building. They all look and see Dean's small face peering carefully out through the tattered curtains and surveying his surroundings.

"He's looking for a way out," John explains with sheer pride once he sees his son's eyes dart about. "I know he is. Dean's a survivor."

"And he needs to protect Sammy," Dean adds knowingly. It doesn't matter the age or time, Dean will always get Sam to safety, no matter what it takes. He turns to Castiel. "So is it safe to say that this place is surrounded?"

"Very much so," Castiel confirms. "And heavily."

"Great, how do we get in then?" Sam asks.

"I can get us in," Castiel offers. "But I am sure they are ready for me to do that."

"Then we need a distraction or something," Sam says. The group grows quiet for a few moments as they all think over the situation at hand.

"How about we go through the front door?" Dean says with an expression of mischief.

"The front door?" Sam doubtfully asks, knowing he'll probably hate whatever this plan of Dean's is that he so quickly came up with.

"Hey, we need to preoccupy the dicks while Cas gets in there and zaps little us to safety, right? Buy him some time?" Dean asks the group before looking strictly to Lizzy. "Right?"

Lizzy looks at Dean with suspicion. "Yeah..."

"Well, I think you and I can make that happen while the rest go in."

"By walking through the front door?" Lizzy questions suspiciously.

"You trust me, right?" he asks, already fully aware of the answer.

"Unfortunately," Lizzy responds, nervousness blanketing her tone.

"Then stop worrying so much," Dean smiles at her. "We got this."

* * *

 


	15. Bite Me, Ken Doll

* * *

"Shit!" the young kid yells when he tries to kick the back door with his heavy boot for the fourth time, the lock still not budging one bit. "What is going on here?"

Dean tried the front door, most of the windows, and now the back door too but they're all closed tight with super glue or something, despite everything being so old and brittle that it should crumble with little force. This whole scenario is off, he thinks to himself. That mean guy must be like the crap his dad tells him about, the crap that wants only to hurt people. He and Sammy need to find a way out fast before the he gets back as Dean's starting to really, actually fear the guy.

Every couple of minutes while roaming around the house and trying to devise some kind of plan, Dean's eyes would glance over to Sammy who's still seated at the crooked, warped table to make sure he's as ok as he'll be and every time he's greeted by hazel eyes that are currently holding more fear within them than Dean's ever seen before.

"Stop looking at me like that," Dean scolds over to Sammy in frustration from his place still by the back door where he stands for a second to catch his breath. That look makes him upset every time he sees it.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Sammy returns, lowering his eyes into his lap. While peering down after making his brother mad, something he always felt awful about after he'd been yelled at, he makes an offer to hopefully lessen Dean's anger. "Can I help?"

"Nah," Dean responds downtrodden, now bummed out for snapping when Sammy did nothing wrong. He's just scared. "I'm not mad at you, Sammy. I'm mad at the jerk that took us here."

"I know," Sam sheepish voice responds, still feeling slightly responsible.

"Just stay there, ok? I'll get us out, I promise."

Sam looks at Dean and nods with little hope. He has a bad feeling about this.

Dean sighs and looks around the decrepit, wasting away house. Unbelievably, this place is worse than any of the flea bag places their dad's ever brought them to. There's still some furniture left by the last occupant that's now sagging and stained and some random items here and there lying around. Broken chairs, some old empty cans and glass bottles, an old school iron frying pan on the rusting stove that can't still work… bingo.

Picking up the very hefty piece of cookware, Dean walks to the window closest to the table Sam's sitting at.

"Holy crap," he comments, shifting the pan in his grip. "This thing is crazy heavy."

Sammy watches as Dean holds the pan handle like a baseball bat and winds up.

"Be careful!" Sammy calls out to when he figures out what Dean's up to. He doesn't want his big brother to get hurt.

"I'm always careful," Dean calls back over his shoulder with sarcasm as he gets ready. He swings with all his might, one of the glass panes shattering the second the pan makes contact. As the shards fall to the ground at his feet, Dean smiles wide. They have a way out. He's gonna get them out. He turns sharply to Sammy. "You ready to run?"

Sammy nods as he gets down from his seat quickly, ready to leave as soon as he can. He hates this place.

"Good because once I bash this window good, we're gonna have to run like hell outta here," Dean turns back to the window to take a few more swings but stops short instead. "What the hell?"

Both boys walk slowly to the window with slack jaws. Once in front of what should be a square of shattered glass, Sammy reaches up and runs his fingers over the smooth, unbroken pane that Dean had just busted and is now somehow whole again. Looking down at the dirty floor, there aren't even pieces of broken glass on the ground anymore. It's like the window healed itself when they weren't looking.

"Dean…" Sammy shaky voice starts to air all his worries.

"Yeah, I know dude," Dean answers, already sure of what Sammy was going to say to him.

"Look!" Sammy suddenly shouts as he points out the window after something catches his eye. They both put their faces a mere inch away from the glass as they watch a woman come out of the dark tree line. She has a man behind her with his arm locked around her neck and a gun pointed to her head. "Isn't that your teacher, Dean?"

* * *

"They're never gonna buy this," Lizzy says under her breath to her faux captor. "They know you won't kill me."

"That's fine," Dean answers, making sure once more that the safety on his gun is on while it's aimed at her temple. "We're just a distraction to buy time anyways. We just need to keep them occupied for a while.

"They might kill you," Lizzy tells him.

"No they won't," Dean boldly answers but honestly holds some reservation as to how true his statement is.

"But what if they decide to go for it?" Lizzy worries up to him while he keeps walking her toward the cabin. "This is dumb, Dean."

"And you thought we were gonna start being smart now?" Dean brushes off before he yells out to the angels he's been told are there. "Hey, dickbags!"

The clearing in front of the house stays eerily quiet as his insult echoes around them. No other sounds and no movement what so ever.

"I thought Cas said this place was surrounded?" he whispers to Lizzy as they trek closer to the house.

"Trust me, it is," she assures, feeling their angry presence all around them. "They're just waiting."

"Fucking wimps," Dean mutters before taunting out loudly once he knows they are really there. "Marco!"

"Polo," a suited figure returns calmly and with conviction as he steps out from behind a tree a few feet from the cabin. Seven other angels make themselves known as they come out from the shadows and trees all around them, stance tall and sights trained on the intruders. "What do you think you're doing, Winchester?" he asks in an annoyed voice.

"Going for a nice brisk walk through the freezing Canadian woods. It's really breathtaking up here."

"You can never just answer a question, can you?" the ridged angel quips with a look of disappointment in the hunter.

"You want the truth? Fine. I'm getting my ass into this house while dabbling in a little hostage negotiations," Dean honestly responds with his patented grin firmly in place.

"Sorry," the nameless angel says as he holds his hands out to his sides and shrugs. "We have orders to keep you out at all costs."

"Even at the cost of her life?" Dean challenges with a nod towards his hostage, Lizzy acting right along like she's afraid while locked in his grip.

"Oh please. You'd never kill her, Dean," the angel rebuts with a tone of obviousness. "Did you really think this half-baked at best idea was going to work?"

"His brother is in there," Lizzy frightfully tells him while grasping at Dean's arm as if to pry them off. "He'd do anything for Sam, you know that."

"And he'll do anything for you too."

"Are you nuts!" Lizzy shouts over to the angel as he remains calm.

"Contrary to how you idiots view us, we're smart," the angel returns. "Dean would never kill the perfect Lizzy Noonan, we're all aware."

"You willing to take that chance?" Dean questions, barrel pressing harder into Lizzy's head as he challenges the all-too-sure angel.

"Absolutely," he returns with total confidence. "You'd won't pull that trigger."

"And how can you be so fucking sure, huh?" Dean questions with narrowed eyes.

"Because we'd stop you before you could do it." The angel stares him down, silver blade dropping down from his sleeve as he does. Looking around he sees that every angel surrounding them also has their weapons at the ready.

"Alright, you got me," Dean admits with over-the-top casualty as he pulls his gun away from Lizzy's head and place it in his waistband at his back. "I was just kidding. I'm not gonna kill her."

"We know," the angel rebuts, having been fully aware that this would be the outcome.

"I'm just gonna use her as an angel shield to get inside." The angels all take a step forward in threat and Lizzy moves into action. She pulls an angel blade of her own out from its tucked away place behind her back and turns to face Dean, jumping up onto him with her legs locked around his waist and her one free arm around his neck. Her right arm is extended out behind his back, sword pointing out to the angels, and she's looking over his shoulder.

"You bitches can't touch me without getting smote right in the ass and I know it," she calmly taunts and the angels all stop in their advancing tracks. "I'm fucking protected, douche bags. Anyone comes near him, you all die. Now back the fuck off!"

Dean starts walking with a normal, casual gate and a smirk as if to taunt the angels. It isn't every day that one so easily wins against the dicks of heaven so he takes a moment to really enjoy it. He has an arm wrapped around her back and he's giving the middle finger to the angels he passes while smiling at the resentment in their faces. She might be one of the best weapons in their arsenal right now. It's like they had a nuke on their side all along and just never knew it.

"You know, that was pretty fucking hot right there," Dean says to her when he turns his attention to the woman wrapped around him, having found her threat to keep him safe a bit of a turn on not surprisingly. "I love when you threaten to beat people up for me, baby."

"I have to defend my man, don't I?" she returns and kisses him hard on the lips in order to show off a little before looking back over his shoulder to add a little insult to injury. "Bet you regret making me love him so much right about now, don't you bitches?" The clearing remains silent as not one of the angels as a rebuttal for her. It was their doing after all and it's being rubbed right in their faces.

Dean reaches the front door and presses a finger to his lips in order to tell her to be quiet. He turns the knob slowly and pushes the entrance open, luckily without a squeak from the old hinges. The two can already pick up on the voices inside, Uriel being one of them. They step inside the threshold and disappear from the sight of the clan of angels outside.

* * *

"Look!" Sammy say while pointing out the window both children are looking out of. "Isn't that your teacher, Dean?"

"Not quite," Castiel tells them as he along with Sam and John appear in the cabin without warning. The two boys whip their heads around immediately toward the voice. With the distraction Dean and Lizzy are causing outside they know they have bought themselves a precious few second to grab the kids and flee.

"Dad!" Sammy shouts as he runs over to John. John couches down low to the ground and Sammy barrels right into him, wrapping his small arms around his neck tightly. As he's getting nearly strangled by his youngest son that is shaking in his arms, John stands up and looks over to Dean. He's still standing by the window alone.

"You ok, Dean?" John asks over to his son.

"Yes sir," Dean says down to the floor, his head hung low with the disappointment he's sure his father will have in him.

"What's the matter?" John immediately asks, rushing over to his oldest son while his youngest stays attached to his side. "Are you hurt?"

"No sir." Dean doesn't look up at his father still. "I tried, I swear."

"We need to leave," Castiel loudly warns over the conversation he's watching, knowing Uriel can't be far if the angels out front have tipped him off already, which they surely have.

"Just a minute. Tried what?" John asks frantically, needing to understand what his son is so upset about. He kneels onto the wooden floor and lifts Dean's chin. "Tried what, Dean?"

"To get out," Dean tells him. "To get Sammy somewhere safe."

"I know you did," John says, his hand running down the back of Dean's head. "You did everything you could."

"But I failed. We're still here."

"We have to go!" Sam shouts, feeling their outdoor distraction won't stop Uriel from getting there for a long enough time for this little heart to heart. John doesn't acknowledge him at all, just focuses on his oldest son.

"You didn't fail," John tells Dean sternly as his son looks away with shame. "Hey!" Dean looks back with John's voice. "You didn't fail. You tried your best and I'm proud of you for that."

"You are?" Dean asks with bugged out eyes.

"Yeah, Dean," John tells him. "I'm always proud of you, dude."

Dean doesn't respond, he just moves in and hugs his dad as unlikely as it is for him to do. The more John sees of Lizzy, the more he realizes that she does in fact love his kids with everything in her, no matter what age. She was willing to have a gun pointed at her head while walking straight at the enemy for them. Now that's love and devotion and because of that John takes what Lizzy had said to him earlier very seriously. He trusts that she would say only the truth and he tries his best to make sure Dean has a better experience in the life than he's been given from here on out.

"Well isn't that so precious," Uriel bitingly announces as he appears without warning in the room, a suited angel to either side of him.

"Damn it," Sam laments when he sees that their opportunity to leave with the kids without a fight is now gone.

"Back off," John booms out, standing tall with one arm in a death grip around Sammy perched on his hip and the other pushing Dean behind him. "I'm talking my kids and we're leaving."

"That's funny," Uriel says with a tiny smirk, taking a step closer to the family. "I see now where Dean gets his wonderful sense of humor."

"Bite me, dude!" Dean shouts boldly from behind his father's frame with the insult. Now that his dad is there, his bravery has grown to a much higher place.

"Uriel, just let them go," Castiel interferes, stepping in front of John and his kids with a sure stance.

"No. Unlike you, I follow my orders."

"Look," Sam pipes up and gets the attention of the powerful and vengeful angel. "You already have me here, Dean and Lizzy too. You don't need to keep the rest of them. You have what you want."

"That is true," Uriel agrees. "But I highly doubt that you three are going to give in and actually let me erase your past few days. Call it a hunch."

"Not without a fight at least," Dean answers, walking into the room confidently.

"Oh good," Uriel complains. "I was beginning to feel this room's collective I.Q. was getting a little too high."

"Eat me, Ken doll," Dean quickly responds, doing anything he can to keep Uriel talking and stall for time.

"Always with you smart-assed quips. You never learn do you?" Uriel darkly says as Dean suddenly doubles over in pain. As he hits the floor, clutching his chest, the angel smiles. "Heart attack. Easy and mess free."

"Dean!" Sam shouts out, running to his brother. Dean grasps Sam's arms hard as tears stream out of the outer corners of his squinting eyes. His entire body is tensed and jerking with the sharp and all-encompassing pain in his chest.

"Alright!" Lizzy suddenly shouts as she steps into the doorway between the two small rooms of the cabin, the right side of her body hidden behind the doorframe. "Leave him alone and you can do what you want with us!"

"Mrs. Noonan?" young Dean asks with absolute shock when Lizzy appears before him. She looks a little different, not so school teacher and a whole lot more bad ass. Damn it, he might love school now. She's pretty cool.

"Giving up that easily?" Uriel asks with surprise.

"Yes! Make it stop!" Lizzy shouts back, her eyes dark and angry with the pain she witnesses Dean endure, the pain she can feel in her chest from what he experiences. "Now!"

Uriel snaps his fingers and Dean's struggling stops as he lays out across the floor breathing heavily and feeling the relief of the heart attack ending.

"And I thought Sam and Dean had a weakness for each other," Uriel laughs to the lackey angel on his right. "These two might be even worse. It's pathetic."

"You ok?" Lizzy checks on Dean without leaving the doorway. He looks up to her and gives her a silent thumbs up in response before dropping his head back onto the floor to give himself more recuperation time. She nods back, letting him know she was ready to carry out the step two of their impromptu plan and that his pain wasn't for nothing. Looking back at Uriel with absolute hatred, Lizzy starts wheeling and dealing. "Alright fuck face, let John and the kids go and we'll do what you ask."

"Do you take me for a moron?" Uriel angrily asks her.

"If the shoe fits," Dean's labored voice remarks from the floor, getting a face of such anger from Uriel that Lizzy gets nervous that the heart attack might start up again.

"No we don't," Lizzy corrects, getting the mad angel's focus back on her. She could kill Dean for his mouth sometimes. "We just want to assure that they're safe. Cas can take them back right now while you do what you have to with us. It's a fair deal and you know it!"

"Elizabeth, no," Castiel tries to warn over to her, very weary of this plan. He doesn't trust Uriel left alone with the hunters at all. However, when Lizzy looks to him, he's calmed. Something in her eyes suddenly makes Castiel go with her. He trusts her fully and in the moment she somehow, without talking, lets him know they're good. "Fine, I will take them back now."

"And you have to leave them alone!" Lizzy points to Uriel. "Once we're back where we belong, there's no need for you to go after the kids or John. They're off limits!"

"As long as I get what I want." The Cheshire cat grin Uriel shares makes the hunters nervous.

Castiel walks over to the family standing huddled together, ready to take them back to safety, when John looks over to Lizzy. He smiles sincerely over to her, a silent thanks of sorts, before Castiel and the group disappears.

"Making the big boy decisions now are we?" Uriel asks of Lizzy.

"Damn straight," she returns with a half-smile, feeling confident now that the kids are safe.

"Guess we know who wears the pants in this relationship," Uriel insults down to Dean on the floor.

"Nope. I'm the brains of the operation," Lizzy rebuts with a grin. "Fuck off, Junkless. Literally!"

Lizzy slaps her hand hard onto the sigil she drew in her own blood on the back of the wall separating the two rooms. Bright white light begins to illuminate the room and Uriel along with his two cronies shout out in surprise as the glow overcomes them. The light bursts through the room and dissipates quickly, leaving the three hunters alone in the crumbling cabin.

Sam huffs loudly in alleviation once Uriel is gone and looks over to Dean on the floor. "Come on," he says as he pulls Dean up to stand. "Cas'll be back for us soon."

Once Dean is on his feet he looks over to Lizzy. "L?" Dean calls to her unmoving frame in the doorway. It take a second of looking at her to realize something is very wrong. She's standing in the exact same place as she was when she activated the sigil. Her hand is still on the wall and her eyes are completely unmoving, staring straight ahead at nothing. The cut on her forearm is still bleeding, the drops falling off of her elbow at a quick rate, but she doesn't react to it at all as the red puddle on the floor grows quickly. "Hey! Lizzy!"

Walking quickly to her, Dean waves a hand in front of her face and she doesn't flinch. He then shakes her by the shoulders, but nothing. No response whatsoever, just vacant eyes.

"L, come on! Talk to me!" Dean shouts to her, getting Sam's attention too. He moves to stand behind Dean and he stares at the frozen woman with fear.

"She's dazed," Castiel explains when he suddenly appears in the room. "Side effect of the sigil. She has angel blood in her and that part of her reacted to it."

"She gonna be ok?" Sam asks with wide eyes.

"We have to go," Castiel ignores the concern. Dean and Sam grab onto each of Lizzy's arms and Castiel takes them out of there immediately.

* * *

 


	16. Dazed and Confused

* * *

Dropping into the center of the Las Vegas hotel room that Castiel took the three hunters from just a few days ago, Sam and Dean do what they can to keep Lizzy on her feet while standing to either side of her, her body weight fully on them through her dazed state.

"Chair," Dean directs to Sam as they each link an arm under one of Lizzy's and pulls her to the furniture backwards, her heels dragging on the carpet as they do. Her body is ridged but still unmoving. Carefully depositing her into a seated position, Dean drops down to his knees in front of her. He holds her face in his hands and tries so hard to find her somewhere in the daze she's caught in.

"When's she gonna come to?" Sam asks Castiel as he stands behind Dean, frightened by the look in Lizzy's eyes… or lack thereof. She's always so expressive that seeing the blank stare from her is unnerving and wrong in every way possible.

"I cannot be sure," Castiel tells them. "A human with such a link to angels has never existed before."

"She better come out of this," Dean darkly warns without taking his eyes off of her. She sits with a stiff back, arms dropped to her sides, and feet planted on the floor. It's exactly how Sam and Dean put her in the chair.

Sam then notices the red spot on the carpet under Lizzy's right arm. Small red drops fall from her fingertips every few seconds and make the stain grow in size rapidly.

"Oh no," Sam complains, crouching to the floor and taking up Lizzy's arm, zeroing in on the slice on her inner forearm just under her rolled up jacket sleeve. "Shit, she cut in deep."

"I told her to take it easy," Dean says to Sammy while still holding Lizzy's face and peering at her. "She said we needed to work fast, needed a lot of blood. For the sigil."

"She's insane," Sam angrily says. "She coulda seriously hurt herself."

"She did," Dean explains while awaiting Lizzy's return to him. "But she wanted to save us."

"Cas," Sam looks over to the angel, eyes pleading silently for his help. Castiel walks quickly to Lizzy's side, placing a hand on her shoulder. Sam watches and waits, but nothing happens. Her cut is still wide open and bleeding fast.

"What the hell, Cas?" Sam asks up with worry.

"I don't know," Castiel returns, looking at his hand. "I think I'm weak from moving through time."

"Fuck," Sam complains and he's on his feet in an instant. "Good time for low batteries." He dashes out the door of Lizzy's hotel room and goes into his own, grabbing his medical supplies from his duffel and running back.

"This is taking too long. Why is this talking so long?" Dean just short of panics, his face wrinkling in pain as he impatiently waits. "Something's wrong."

Sam runs to the bathroom, grabs a towel, and returns to sit by Lizzy's side.

"Give her more time," Castiel strongly suggests.

"We've given her time, Cas!" Dean yells out, his panic finding him and gripping him tight. "Heal her! Now!"

"I can't. And she is not hurt, Dean. There is nothing to heal," Castiel explains.

"Then do something!" Dean loses it, the silence he gets from Lizzy taking over his better judgment.

"Dean, take it easy," Sam says to his brother in an equally panicked but lower tone as he takes up Lizzy's arm again and puts pressure on her wound to hopefully make it stop bleeding. "Yelling isn't helping anything. Just wait. She'll come out of it, right?" Sam turns to Castiel for an answer to make both of their anxiety addled brains calm.

"There is no guarantee," Castiel truthfully tells him before realizing his mistake when Dean's eyes meet his. "But I believe she will."

Dean sets his jaw and closes his eyes briefly to reign in his fury. Once under control he breathes out heavily before looking at her again. The feeling he gets from the sight of her makes him want to cry. She's right there, right in front of him, but no one's home.

"Come on, L," Dean quietly talks to her, hands still cupping her face, hoping she can somehow hear him. "Come back to me. I need you to come back to me."

Sam quietly cleans the copious amount of blood off of Lizzy's arm and listens to the pleas coming from Dean. It hurt. With all they know now it doesn't change a thing for Dean. She may have been made for him in every way and that should make him not want to be near her based on that alone, but he needs her. Nothing can change that.

"Lizzy, please don't do this," Dean continues to beg of her, tears threatening his eyes as he looks at her. "Please."

As Sam continues to press the towel over her wound he catches the slight couple of twitches in her index finger.

"Dean!" Sam calls out, grasping her hand in his. "Look!" He holds her hand out for Dean to see the movement. Dean's eyes blow wide with hope.

"Lizzy!" he shouts out her name as he looks back to her eyes. "I'm right here, come on back." He watches her eye lids flutter slightly, and then fully blink once. "There you go! Talk to me!"

Her lips move slightly as her face slowly comes alive again.

"Try, L! You can do it!"

"D…" she struggles out slowly with the sound of his voice. "De… Dean."

"Right here, baby," Dean tells her, taking her left hand and dropping it on his cheek. "Keep talking. Come on."

"Wh... wha… wha…" she keeps trying, eyes wildly looking around the room. She finds Dean's green eyes and locks on hard. Her hand still against his cheek she brushes her thumb against his five o'clock shadow. It's familiar, it's comforting, and it's what makes her come back fully. "Hi," she lets out with a slight smile once she can talk again. "What the fuck was that?"

Dean launches up on his knees and grabs her, hugging her in and locking his arms around her tightly. His heart races with relief. She's back. She came back.

Sam keeps a hard hold on Lizzy's injured arm as he watches her wrap her free one around Dean's neck. Sam sighs in relief. That was a close call, and even if they should be used to close calls by now, they're not. Not when it comes to the people they care about most.

Dean lets her go and returns his hands to her face, pulling her into him and kissing her. He always did this when he's been afraid for her. He needed to cement that she was still there and she wasn't gone from him.

Ending their kiss, Dean backs away but not by much. Looking into her eyes, he searches for the one thing he needs to see to be absolutely certain she's completely with them.

"What?" Lizzy asks him when he just looks at her without speaking.

"I don't know," Dean answer honestly, still looking.

"I'm good, Dean. Don't worry," she tells him with a smile.

"I'll never stop worrying," he rebuts, knowing how true it is.

"I'm here," Lizzy soothes. "I love you, Hot Shot. Relax because you're scaring me."

There it was. The spark in her eyes. It showed up when she told him she loved him. She really is ok. The relief is almost too much to manage.

"Hey," Lizzy quietly coos as she watches a tear roll down Dean's cheek with his certainty that she's fine. "Stop. Please. You'll make me cry and then Sam will start in and Cas will start sobbing like a baby… it'll be a whole big mess of a chick flick in here in no time." She warmly runs the pad of her thumb over his cheek, erasing the sadness from his face and Dean hugs her in again with her attempt at tension breaking humor, a trick he now knows she picked up from her mom. He decides in the moment he's never letting her go. Wherever she goes, he goes. He's never letting anything get to her again, ever.

"Ok, so no more angel sigils," Lizzy whispers to him in their embrace.

"Never," Dean promises.

* * *

"Whoa," Lizzy startles as she looks around the room. Sam is sitting to her right at the table in the hotel room, working at stitching her back together again, while Dean is sitting on the bed nearest the table. "Déjà vu."

"What do you mean?" Sam asks as he grabs the cheap whiskey bottle and twists off the cap.

"Dude, like four days ago we were sitting at a table in a motel room just like this," Lizzy explains. "You were patching me back up while Dean sat on a bed and we talked about my messed up life. It's the same damn thing all over again."

"Yeah, that's pretty fucked up," Sam responds truthfully after looking around. It did feel the same.

"Maybe this time we'll get some answers huh?" Dean comments as he looks to Castiel. "Alright  _Cassie_ , start talking."

Castiel looks at Dean oddly with the use of Lizzy's childhood nickname for him.

"First I have to ensure you won't be in Uriel's sights," Castiel explains as he walks to Dean and without warning drops the palm of his hand on his head. Dean's eyes roll back for a second and he groans in pain. As soon as it started, it was over and Castiel is backing away from him.

"The fuck, Cas!?" Dean loudly asks while cradling his head.

"The knowledge you gained over the past few days is now locked into your brain," Castiel explains. "Not even Uriel can erase that. He has no reason to come after you now."

"You just tagged my brain with a sharpie?" Dean questions incredulously.

"In so many words," Castiel concurs as he stands behind Lizzy and Sam, dropping a hand on their heads without prepping them also.

"Ow!" Lizzy complains once Castiel is walking away from them, deed done.

"Ah! So violated," Sam complains as he shakes off the sensation. After a few seconds he looks over at Lizzy again with the whiskey bottle once more in hand. "Ready?"

"Shoot," Lizzy tells him and Sam douses the knife cut. "Fuck," she hisses quietly while her wound is disinfected. She flinches but it's a much smaller flinch than a few days ago. She's getting more and more used to this kind of pain these days. She wonders if one day she just won't really even feel it anymore.

"What about dad and us in the past?" Dean wonders with serious concern over to Castiel. "Are they safe?"

"They don't remember our interactions with them so they are indeed safe," Castiel quickly says.

"What?" Lizzy worries immediately. "Why the hell not?"

"Because it would change too much about your present," Castiel explains. "I already broke every rule in the book by bringing you there in the first place. If I allowed them to remember… Uriel and the other angels would not have been pleased with that." Cryptic as his answer is, the hunters understand. "Also, you may not see me around for some time after all this. I may be out of… reach." Castiel surely had quite the retribution coming his way for what he did for the hunters, particularly Lizzy, and he's well aware of that.

"Well, thank you for risking you hide for me," Lizzy says to him with all sincerity. "You didn't have to do that."

Ignoring her thanks, Castiel takes a seat on the far bed facing the three hunters. Looking them over, his brow lowers as he feels a pang of regret.

"I needed to show you that I am trustworthy," Castiel tells them. "I hope I did that. Now I feel I have so much to explain. I'm not sure what to address first."

"Start at the beginning then," Lizzy sweetly tells him, sensing how absolutely difficult this is for him. Castiel still pauses. "Cas, it's ok. I already told you, you did the right thing here. I deserved to know. Now you just have to fill in the blank spaces, no matter how much they suck."

"The beginning," Castiel sighs, trying to recall everything clearly and ready for the storm he's about to certainly create. "It started centuries ago. God ordered that certain bloodlines needed to come together, bloodlines that were highly connected to the Nephelim. Years and years later, the results from such work came down to Catherine Smith and Brian Becker. They were meant to be together."

"So my parents being together, Cathy and Paul I mean, was never part of the plan?" Lizzy wonders aloud.

"No it was not," Castiel confirms. "It was my duty to make sure that Brian and Catherine were to fall in love and produce children. However, I was called away from my post on this planet at a point in time that was crucial for this to happen. When I returned to my watch over the Earth, I was too late. Brian had found Jane and Catherine had found Paul. They were each married to people that their destinies had not had planned for."

"So why not let it be then?" Dean wonders. "You guys fucked up. Call it what it is."

"It isn't that easy, Dean," Castiel rebuts quickly. "Centuries of hard work would have been, as I believe you would say, flushed down the sink."

"Toilet," Sam looks up from his work and corrects.

"Yes…. My father wouldn't allow that so it was put upon me to fix the issue."

"How did you do that?" Lizzy wonders, wincing as Sam slides the needle through her skin and starts to stitch her up.

"Alcohol. Lots of it."

"Don't I know that story," Dean quietly quips with a huff.

"So what, adultery isn't really a sin?" Lizzy questions as she doesn't understand how God, the one who supposedly put these rules in place, breaks his own word.

"It is a sin according to man," Castiel answers her. "There is a lot that humans have mixed up about what my father commands. Many have altered my father's will to suit their own personal beliefs. It isn't smiled upon, nor is it frowned on in certain circumstances. There are always exceptions to every rule."

Castiel looks at Lizzy and the emotional confusion he has over her, his adoration of her despite his need to stay neutral, makes this whole confession that much more difficult.

"I was forced to interfere," Castiel continues. "Once the affair was done, Lizzy was created. Paul had previously been told he was unable to have children and he and Catherine had been looking into adoption. You were considered a miracle by Paul. In a way, you were."

"So mom lied?" Lizzy painfully asks.

"She neglected to be honest," Castiel corrects her gently. "She never told your father of her unexpected indiscretion. She never had any intentions of ever cheating on him as she was a good, honest woman. The lapse surprised her more than anyone. Also, it would devastate Paul. She refused to do that to him."

"And that's why we moved next door to the Becker's," Lizzy fills in. "So Brian could be a part of my life."

"Yes," Castiel confirms. "It was also so that you and Lou could live like the sisters that you are. Elizabeth, I wanted you both to know so badly…" The angel sighs loudly while shaking his head. "You should have known before she passed. You both should have been informed."

Lizzy can feel just how upset and regretful he is over not letting her discover her and Lou's true relationship.

"She was always my sister in everything but blood already," Lizzy explains with pain in her voice in order to alleviate some of Castiel's self-blame. "Now I know it's official. We loved each other like sisters, maybe more than the average sisters do. Knowing this changes absolutely nothing."

"But I…"

"Cas, stop," Lizzy asks gently of him. "You told me all of this because you thought I deserved to know. You were right. If no one ever told me, sure I'd be ignorant to it all and live just fine, but I'd be living a lie. I've earned the right to know everything and you're the only one who would grab their balls and actually tell me."

"I also wanted you to know how lucky you are through everything, even if it does not appear that way," he continues. "From my perspective, Elizabeth, in the end you have been shown more love and compassion in your young life than most ever get. You're parents loved you fiercely, so did Lou's, just like they were your own. Shirley was you're biggest fan, Lou was you're closest confidant, Bobby is your surrogate father, and now you have Sam and you certainly have Dean. All said, you are a very blessed individual."

Lizzy makes a thoughtful face, letting his rationalization settle in. She did feel loved by so many during her time. They many not all be with her now, but they showed her the adulation that fills her heart to this day. She does feel lucky to have had that, and to still have that.

"That explains Lizzy's family, but what about us?" Dean asks. "Why were Sam and I there?"

"That is a bit difficult to explain," Castiel answers.

"Try," Sam adds in, looking seriously up from his stitching at the angel.

"It has to do with compatibility," Castiel starts in with a wrinkled expression. "We needed to test the waters."

"With what?" Lizzy pries suspiciously.

"We created a hunt nearby so that John would come into your town," Castiel begins.

"There was never a werewolf, was there?" Sam asks, knowing that his suspicions with John were correct.

"No there was not."

"So you just ripped some poor bastard's heart out to trap us?" Dean loudly questions, horrified that the angels would do such a thing.

"Yes," Castiel confirms for him. "But he was not exactly a moral man. I doubt that humanity missed him very much. We needed to get you to Lizzy's town in order to see if we were on the right track with her," Castiel tells her. "We needed to know if you two were what you were meant to be."

"Don't you mean you needed to see if _I_  was what  _I_  was meant to be?" Lizzy sadly asks, realizing now that Uriel didn't lie about who she was and her purpose in life.

"Unfortunately yes," Castiel confirms. "And you were right on target. Even with the age difference we knew you two had a connection."

Lizzy looks down at her boots while biting the side of her cheek, the harsh reality hitting her like a slap in the face. "That's all I am, isn't it? A pawn in this war of yours? A piece to play in the Apocalypse?"

"No," Castiel sternly rebuts.

"Everything I like, you made me like it," she adds in a down trodden voice. "Dad loved classic rock because I had to. My mother was overly understanding and abnormally strong so that I would be too. Everything around me and everything I experienced was to create the perfect being for Dean."

"I regret it all," Castiel admits to her. "After knowing you for so long, I feel highly remorseful for my actions, whether commanded by my father to do them or not."

"You can feel remorse?" Sam wonders.

"Yes. I was not meant to ever feel any human emotion but I learned over time," Castiel tells them before turning to Lizzy. "From Elizabeth."

"Well, I'm glad I could help make you better, Cas," Lizzy tells him with a little bite through her depressed tone. "And you too Sam, and especially Dean. Glad I could do the job I was forced into so fucking well." She sits with closed eyes and slumped shoulders.

"But you have," Dean tries to make an upside. "Without you we wouldn't…"

"There was never a without me, Dean," Lizzy sadly interrupts. "That's the point. I've never made a single decision, met a single person, done one fucking thing in my life that was fully under my control. Everything has been set up for me. Everything that's ever happened… Oh my God…" Lizzy sharply looks up at Castiel. "My parents! Did you kill my parents!?"

"No!" Castiel quickly answer. "That was indeed Laraje. She was the one who killed them."

"But you knew it was going to happen!" Lizzy stands up, needle hanging from the threads in her forearm as Sam had to let go when she left her spot in order to not inflict more damage. She marches over to the angel and stands just inches from his face. "You knew all along that my parents were going to die, didn't you!? They had to die, they had to, because that's what made me a hunter. That's why I can relate to Dean so well about his past and his life!" Her tears start forming as the ire threatens to topple her.

Castiel doesn't answer, just peers with narrowed eyes at her.

"How did you do it, huh?" Lizzy asks heatedly. "I know you bitches had something to do with it! Tell me! How!?"

"I refused," Castiel blurts out. "I had my orders to make sure Laraje went after them, to make sure the Hand of the Etruscan's was in your mother's possession, and I refused. I was punished for that. I was punished for  _you_."

"So who did it then?" Lizzy asks in a fiery tone with evil in her eyes.

"I do not know," Castiel darkly informs her.

"Who!?" Lizzy demands as she pushes him hard. After backing a step, Castiel's expression goes dark.

"I don't know!" he repeats louder this time as he charges forward towards her in anger. Dean jumps up from his place and stands between the two.

"Bullshit!" Lizzy shouts over Dean's height.

"Stop!" Dean shouts to them both, holding a hand out to each. "Knock it off."

Both stand with feet rooted in place and glare at each other. The deafening silence that takes over is torturous for the four in the room. So much information, so much to process, so much deceit.

"Cas," Dean starts, looking over to the angel angrily. "Your job sucks ass and as much as you don't like it, a lot of what's upsetting Lizzy is your fault. You can't change that." He then looks to Lizzy. "L, he didn't want to do any of what he's been ordered to do, you have to understand that. Cas is trying to right his wrongs here and you just said he did the right thing. He's told you everything and he tried to protect you when he could. He's still on your side."

"Tell that to my dead parents," Lizzy grits out while looking over Dean's shoulder and glaring at Castiel.

"Alright, I think Lizzy needs a breather," Dean tells Castiel as calmly as he can. "Can we get a little time off here, Cas?"

Castiel looks at Lizzy with an odd expression. It's a mix of his guilt, his sadness, his anger with her reaction, and his affection for her. Without answering he disappears, leaving the three hunters alone in the hotel room. Lizzy huffs a few breaths to bring herself down after the highly tense conversation.

"Shit," she whispers to herself as she looks over her forearm now that the pain begins to settle in. She already popped the few stitches Sam had managed to complete and she was bleeding all over again. Dean sees it too and grabs the already bloodstained towel off of the table and presses it to her arm. Lizzy takes one look at him, her heart still filled with love for him but now so much pain too, and gives in. She starts crying, completely overwhelmed by everything. As her shoulders shake, Dean runs a hand over the back of her head and pulls her in. He looks over to Sam and they both silently share a moment of total sadness as Dean's arm's hold her tight. They never imagined that this is what would come of the girl that helped them so much over the past years. It was unfair and honestly more than they've ever had to deal with themselves.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispers into Lizzy's hair at the top of her head. "Lizzy, I'm sorry."

She continues to cry in Dean's arms. When he pulls her away from him, he walks her back to her chair at the table. He sits first and then pulls her into his lap. She curls up against him, letting him take her arm and lay it back on the table for Sam to work on again. She's still bleeding and they needed to stop it.

"You've been so good to us," Dean tells her, bringing his arms back around her body to blanket her in safety. "You've helped us and stood by us… now it's our turn to do that for you."

Sam subconsciously nods his agreement as he sets to work once more on her injury.

Dean tilts her head up to look at him. "I mean it. We owe you so much and now we're stepping up. Whatever you need, no matter how big, we're there. You're  _not_ alone."

"That's just what they want," she cries up to him, the sad tears spilling over continually as her voice hitches erratically. "They want us together. That was the whole master plan."

"Then fuck 'em," Dean tells her. "We haven't listened to those assholes once yet. We're not about to start now. We do things our way."

"I can't do this anymore," Lizzy sobs, grabbing Dean's shirt in her fist through her misery, desperate to cling to something she knows and believes in but with her wavering faith in who this man is to her, the comfort she seeks isn't what it should be.

"Yes you can," Dean rebuts strongly, trying to give her his strength and faith in her.

"I don't want to," Lizzy adds, her eyes tiredly looking to him. "I don't want this anymore."

No knowing how to respond, Dean presses a hand to the side of her head and pulls her in again, resting her cheek against his chest and then combing through her hair. The three exhausted hunters sit around the small hotel table, not talking as Lizzy cries over her life and Sam tries to physically put her back together. Emotionally, that was another story. There were no words to fix this, no magic phrase to erase the pain. Only silent support.

* * *

 

* * *


	17. Where Do We Go From Here?

* * *

The room is dark and quiet save for the passing voices of those also staying at the hotel while they walk by the door to their room. Her arm hurts, her head hurts, her heart hurts while she lies still in bed with Dean behind her, his arms strongly wrapped around her waist. Even with the severe lack of sleep she's gotten over the past few days, she hasn't been able to fall asleep at all, everything playing and replaying on a loop in her mind.

The one thought that threatens to destroy her is exactly what is keeping her up. She can accept that her father wasn't biologically hers (he loved her no matter what so blood or no blood, she's his kin), she can get past that she saw Lou again and knows she's her sister (she'll actually cherish having that moment in the long run considering how much she misses her), she can even get over that fact that she isn't all human (because at least she part good guy… if angels can be considered the good guys that is). All those things are fine but having been created specifically for Dean, that one hurt.

It more than hurt. It sucked completely and it leaves her wondering. Would she have loved music as much, would she have that bond of music with her father Paul, if she wasn't supposed to? Would she be obsessed with food half as much, because damn it she loves food? Would she be angry still or a well-adjusted person? Would she live a normal life without ghosts and demons? Would her parents be alive? Would Lou be alive?

Now her head hurt even more. If Dean had never existed life would be so different, so easy and so happy. Not to say that he doesn't make her happy. He's the only bright spot she has at this point and just being with him makes her more than happy. But if Dean never was or if he never needed a perfect match, her  _whole_  life aside from her love life would be happy, not just that one part of it. What a mess.

Suddenly the arms around her, meant to comfort and reassure, are absolutely stifling, holding her down and constricting her. She feels imprisoned in them, like she has no choice. Really, she doesn't.

"Dean," Lizzy calls out in the darkness, already trying to wriggle free from his hold.

"Mm," is all he responds with, having found sleep as easy to come by as a hunter can ever manage. He's exhausted.

"Dean, wake up," Lizzy tries again, shifting to sit up.

"What's wrong?" he asks her with worry, bolting upright immediately once she wakes him.

"Relax. Just need to talk to you," she tells him, trying to calm him down. He' s been an over protective disaster that hasn't let her leave his sight since they got back so she does what she can to not have him freak out when she interrupts his rest. "I need to say something."

"Yeah," Dean says while settling down. Sitting next to her he brings an arm around her shoulders. "You alright?"

"No," Lizzy answer truthfully. "I'm pretty fucking far from alright." She sighs heavily, not ready to say what she must. It's going to break his heart, but she has to get it out. "I… Dean, I can't do this."

"Do what?" he wonders as she drops her head down to avoid him.

"Hunting," she answers. "Being on the road. Being near you. I think I need some time off."

Dean tightens his hold on her and lets the ache in his chest take over.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Dean admits, having been concerned that after all this she wouldn't be able to go on the way the three of them had been. "I was afraid you'd run."

"I'm so sorry," she says, her voice choking on the words. "I don't want to hurt you but I need to sort through this. I can't do that while I'm around you." Looking up at him and seeing the pain in his eyes kills her. "I have to find a way to accept all of this before it ruins us."

Dean sadly nods and keeps quite, truly understanding what she's saying. Lizzy turns to sit facing him and holds his face in her hands.

"I don't blame you for any of this. Not at all," she tells him honestly. "But right now it's hard to look at you and not immediately be reminded that you're the reason for everything that I am and everything that's happened to me. I don't know how to feel about only existing for you. That's a pretty heavy thing to be aware of."

"I wish it wasn't true," Dean says to her. "I'm sorry, L. I would do anything to fix his. I would never want this for you."

"I know that," Lizzy tries to calm him. She kisses him once and doesn't let her hold on him go. "And I love that about you. You'd rather I wasn't perfectly made to make you happy. I appreciate that completely and this doesn't change anything in the way I feel about you."

"You sure about that?" he nervously asks.

"Absolutely," she tells him with all honesty. "Dean, I love you and that will never change, ever. That's the one thing about all this I'm ok with. All of this shit, the molding me, the set path of my life, the lies, the loss, in the end all these things brought me to you. How can I be completely upset about that?"

"But once you have time to think everything over, what if you can't do  _this_  anymore?" Dean asks her, his shaking hands taking hers from his cheeks and grasping tightly. "What if you don't want _us_ anymore?"

"That won't happen," she determinedly says.

"What if it does?" he asks again, pressing the question.

"It won't," she stresses her words. "With all the unsure shit in my life do you really think I would throw away the one thing I'm actually certain about?"

"I don't know," Dean says sadly and it kills her to hear. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Neither do I," Lizzy truthfully tells him while climbing onto him, her legs straddling his and kissing him again. "But you need to trust me here. I have to go home, be alone for a little bit and think, but nothing,  _nothing_  will make me not love you. I will never leave you, ever. I told you that before and I meant it. I don't break my promises."

He pulls her in and kisses her again as the crushing weight starts setting in. He isn't ready to let her go. Being with her all the time was something he very easily got used to and waking up alone, not having her by his side… he's not prepared for that.

"Is this what you really need? To go home?" Dean asks her, praying for her to say she didn't.

"Yes," she whispers back, knowing she's hurting him. It hurts her too. She doesn't want to be without him… but she  _has_  to be without him for the sake of  _them_.

"Ok," he says with sheer sadness. "We can leave tomorrow."

The look on his face makes her devastated for having to do this. "I'm sorry," she says again, knowing she's making him feel this sad. "Dean, I don't want to disappoint you like this. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he says as he hugs her in, reveling in the warmth of her and taking advantage while he can. It'll be gone soon. She'll be gone soon.

* * *

Three days of driving and they finally pull up to Lizzy's apartment. She offered to fly home, let Dean and Sam be off on their hunting way and avoid the long road trip across the country, but Dean had insisted on driving her. Lizzy is fully aware that he's just stalling and looking for more time before they part ways and she's ok with that. It was her decision to get out for a little while and it affects him greatly. She's fine with giving him a little more time if that's what he wants.

Walking through the front door Lizzy sighs. There's something about this place that feels like home. She hasn't lived there in months and the memories here aren't all good ones, but it's the first place she's felt comfortable being in since she lived in her childhood house. This place is all hers, it's stable, and it makes her calm just being there.

After dropping her bags hastily onto her bedroom floor with a toss, she flops down into her oversized couch in the living room with a loud 'ahh'. Sam joins her, taking the other end of the sofa and they both listen as Dean moves around her apartment. Stealing a glance at each other, Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she yells to him from the living room as he's rummaging through her kitchen cupboards. She already knows what he's up to but she asks anyways.

"Being the super smart guy that I am," he simply shouts back as he pulls a large metal canister of salt out from under the sink. He begins lining the windows starting with the room he's in and making his way through the entire apartment. Once he reaches the living room, lining the window closest to the doorway, his audience silently watches him in his overprotective, neurotic state.

"I can do that, you know," Lizzy tells him with all seriousness.

"Just trying to help," he tells her while still working. "You still have holy water under the bed?"

"Yes," she evenly and slightly exaggeratingly answers. She's fully aware that he's being cautious for her sake and, in the long run, for his own mental well-being also. Dean tends to get like this when he won't be around her for a while.

"And a knife?"

"No," she answers and pauses in order to get his concerned face going. Once Dean whips his head away from the window he's currently lining to look at her, she sees it and smiles. "I have a shotgun filled with salt rounds instead." She widens her grin.

Dean breathes out a sigh of relief. "What about…"

"Sit down," she directs to him while pointing to the recliner next to her.

"L, I'm just making sure…"

"Sit down," she more sternly repeats. "Please. You're gonna make me nuts."

Reluctantly he listens, dropping the canister in his hands under the window he had been lining and walking over to her. He plops begrudgingly into the seat with an 'oomph' and looks over to her with lifted eyebrows.

"You need to calm down," she tells him in a loving manner. "I lived here alone for a long time before and I know how to protect myself. I'll be fine."

"I just want to make sure you're as safe as possible, that's all," Dean tells her. "It'll help me sleep better when I'm gone."

"Oh so this is all about you then?" she jests while looking at him with faux exasperation.

"It always is," Dean retorts, sharing a shit eating grin that never fully reaches his eyes.

"But you're being insane."

"No he's not," Sam rebut after thinking it over. "With all we know now, there's no more being too cautious. I'm thinking that now you might be pretty high up on the hit list, Lizzy."

"Oh yeah, right underneath Sam and Dean Winchester," Lizzy remarks, finding it hypocritical that they see her as so helpless on her own when they have a higher price on their own heads, she's sure of it.

"Sam makes a good point," Dean adds. "You have to be careful. Shit's gonna be gunning for you now, L."

"And it wasn't before?" Lizzy challenges. "Look, guys, clearly nothing has changed about who I am besides the fact that I'm aware of it now. Like always, I will be wicked cautious. And you can call me every day and do the fatherly check in bullshit. Hell, you can takes turns being the one to nag me."

"Are you still sure this is a good idea?" Dean asks for the umpteenth time since she told him she needed to go home.

"It isn't about this being a good idea or not," Lizzy explains with sadness. "I have to stay here for a little bit. You know I would only do this if I have to."

"It's gonna be weird," Sam comments. "Got so used to you being around all the time."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Lizzy smiles small. "What the hell am I gonna do if I'm not saving your asses every second? I'll have so much free time on my hands."

Sam smiles back but Dean's drooping face remains. Normally he'd have a comeback for such an audacious comment, but not this time. The idea of leaving without her still hurts too much to be able to find the humor in her words.

"So I'll make you a deal," Lizzy says to both brothers. "I'm gonna run out and get some food in this place and make something for dinner. I don't have the heart to send you back out there without giving you at least one home cooked meal since it's been diner food only for months. While I'm gone you two can do whatever you need to fully secure this place to your personal satisfaction. Good?"

Sam and Dean look to each other and silently agree. It would help them feel better about everything in the long run to know she's as secure in her apartment as possible.

"Yeah, alright," Dean reluctantly agrees, still hating everything that's happening. It goes against his better judgment, his instinct, everything in him.

"Good." She stands up and kisses his forehead before looking at them both. "I'll be right back. Try not to totally destroy the place, huh?"

Grabbing her keys, Lizzy heads down the front steps and when the front door closes and the brothers know she's gone, they start moving.

"You want to finish the salt?" Dean asks Sam while he heads to the hallway closet where her arsenal is held.

"Sure," Sam answers as he picks up where Dean left off. "You think this is a good idea, letting her stay here alone?"

"Not at all," Dean answers, taking up some of her knives.

"Yeah, me neither," Sam admits, finishing up the windows in the living room. "We can't help protect her if she isn't with us and it feels… kinda like we're abandoning her."

"But it's the other way around if you ask me," Dean remarks, his disappointment coming through loud and clear.

"You can't blame her though," Sam rebuts while stepping out into the hallway and looking over at his brother. "She was told she was made specifically for you. I can't imagine finding out that my whole life, my personality, my everything was made a certain way to please someone else. That's heavy, Dean. How would you react if the tables were turned?"

"I know what you're saying, Sam, but it doesn't help," Dean returns, walking past his brother and heading for Lizzy's bedroom. He picks up her pillow and slides a sheathed silver dagger into the pillowcase. "I mean, how the hell am I supposed to deal with this? What am I supposed to say to her? I never wanted this."

"She knows that," Sam confirms while watching Dean from the doorway. "She just needs to process it all and figure out how to live with it."

"And who's to say that once she's done thinking it over that she won't ever want to see us again?" Dean asks. Sam knows that the 'us' really means 'me'.

"Just give her some time," Sam suggests. "She'll figure it all out. Lizzy would never shut us out of her life."

"Yeah," Dean says with clear disbelief.

"She wouldn't," Sam reiterates. "And you'll see that."

"At least one of us has some confidence," Dean laments, sitting down at the edge of her bed and running a hand down his face. He sits quietly for a minute, Sam waiting in the doorway for Dean to say something, anything, but he doesn't. Sensing Dean needs minute to himself, Sam leaves and finishes up with the salt before heading out to their car for more items.

Dean scans the room he's in. It's always been a little barebones around her place but it makes sense. She never lived there for more than four months at a time so why bother. A half full closet of clothes, a half empty dresser, a bed, and not much else. It feels incomplete and in his head he's always felt there was a reason for that. To him it feels like she's been waiting for him to fill in the missing parts. His clothes should be in the empty half of her closet, his towel should be hung on the empty hook next to hers in the bathroom, and his shoes should be in the empty corner of the foyer at the bottom of the stairs. He knows that would never happen, there was no getting out for them, but a guy can wish can't he? He's always held out a sliver of hope and kept himself sane by telling himself that one day they can get out and truly be happy.

Now, it feels like that possibility is slipping away slowly but surely….

* * *

 


	18. I'll Back You Up

* * *

“So where to tomorrow?” Lizzy lightly asks Sam as she drops a blanket and pillow onto her large couch for him. 

“Uh, heard from an old hunting buddy of dad’s a few days ago,” Sam explains as he shuts down his laptop while sitting in her recliner, by now known as his ‘spot’.  “Said there was a ghost in a school in Virginia that he couldn’t get to and asked us to look into it.”

“That’s not super far,” Lizzy responds, shaking out the blanket and laying it across the couch all the while looking for any bright side she can as they prepare to leave her behind. 

“Yeah, and it looks pretty cut and dry which is nice,” Sam tells her.  He’s not surprised that he’s sad about her getting out for a while, but it’s more than he expected.  He really got used to her being a part of their daily lives. 

“That’s _very_ nice,” Lizzy says in agreement, knowing cut and dry is rarely their thing.  She takes a moment to watch Sam carefully, studying his face, and Lizzy grows concerned.  “Hey, ah, you feeling ok, Sam?” she wonders when she gets a good look at him standing under the ceiling light of her living room.  The bags under his eyes are much more pronounced than even the past few days and he looks paler.  “You coming down with something?”

“I’m just tired,” Sam brushes aside, lying to her completely.  Lizzy gives him an annoyed look as she marches over to him and slaps a hand to his forehead.

“You feel warm,” she warns him. 

“Lizzy, I’m fine,” Sam says while immediately yet gingerly taking her hand off of his head.  It’s just been a while since he’s ‘juiced up’ as he likes to think of it.  Of course, he can’t say that to her.

“Take some ibuprofen before you pass out, just in case you’re getting a fever or something,” she instructs to him.

“Yes mother,” he dryly agrees, earning him a swat on the butt as he walks out of the room and makes his way to the bathroom.  Lizzy follows him out and stops before heading into her bedroom.

“Night Sam-I-Am,” Lizzy reluctantly says just like she does every night but this time knowing it could be a while before she says it again.

Sam turns back, smiles slightly and huffs.  “Night Lizzy.”

Once he disappears into the bathroom Lizzy lets herself feel the pain.  Of course she’ll miss Dean, it’ll hurt like hell once he’s gone, but the amount she’ll miss Sam is no picnic either.  Especially after everything in Vegas she feels tied to him now in a way she wasn’t before.  A lot has been said about how they view each other and what they mean to each other.  He holds a bigger place in her heart now than ever before. 

And then she walks through the door of her bedroom to see Dean and the pain gets so much worse.  He’s sitting at the edge of her bed, hands folded and head hung low.  When he hears her he looks up to her and she really gets to see what she’s doing to him.  The sadness is breaking him and the look in his eyes makes her want to say fuck it after all and head out with them in the morning.  But that wouldn’t be right, it wouldn’t help anything, and in the long run it would be even less fair to him and their relationship.

Closing the door behind her, Lizzy pauses.  Very rarely does she find herself unsure of what to say or do around Dean.  Everything always came easily for them, probably because it was supposed to, but right now she’s at a loss.

“You’re absolutely, one-hundred percent sure about this?” Dean asks one last time, that tiny little speck of hope driving him to make sure.

“No,” she admits while leaning down to rummage through her duffel bag, pulling out her IPod and standing again.  “But I know I don’t have a choice.”

Dean nods and looks away, making her chest physically hurt.  Her own sadness was bad enough, but right now she swears she’s picking up on his as well, making it almost hard to breathe.  She’s been able to do that a lot lately, feel what he feels.  She’s starting to think it’s a side effect of being pumped with angel genes.

Lizzy walks to her bureau and pops her IPod into the dock there.  Maybe music as a backdrop will help make this suck less.  Also, she isn’t letting him leave without a proper goodbye and traumatizing Sam further wasn’t something she wanted to do.  She starts up her playlist ‘Easy Listening for Non-Pussies’ and the room fills with Dave Matthew’s voice singing ‘I’ll Back You Up’. 

She then moves to the bed and climbs onto it, settling in behind him and wrapping her arms and legs around his torso.  Pressing her palms flat against his chest, she finds sanctuary in the feel of his heartbeat that she can just make out.  She never told him she did this, but anytime she could hear or feel the even drumming in his chest she felt peaceful, safe, and at home.  It reminded her that he’s still by her side and he always would be.

“This isn’t me leaving you,” Lizzy assures him, cocooning him within herself. 

“I know,” Dean lies completely.

“Stop doing that,” Lizzy asks of him, her head resting on the back of his shoulder.  “I know when you’re lying and right now you’re lying your pretty little face off.”

“How do you always know?” Dean asks her.  She’s always been inside his head but lately she’s been reading him a little too well for it to be comfortable.

“Can feel it,” she explains as she hugs him in tighter.  “I’m like tapped into you, remember?” 

“Yeah, not weird at all,” Dean remarks.

“It isn’t so bad,” Lizzy assures. 

“Just… come with us,” Dean tries again, voice not even a little hopeful this time.  He knows she won’t.

“How would that be fair to you?” Lizzy wonders aloud, hoping to make her point clearer.  “If I don’t take some time to really figure this shit out, it will be worse for us in the long run.  I can’t end up resenting you for all of this when none of it’s your fault.  If I end up having a grudge towards you that could kill us.”

“This fucking sucks,” Dean complains, defeated as he holds onto her hands clasped around his chest, knowing everything she says it true.  He’d die is she ever resented him for anything. 

“Sure does,” Lizzy concurs.  “But it’s just temporary.  Give me a little bit of time and I’ll be ok.  And we’ve done this before, you on the road and me here.  We can do it again.”

“But I don’t want to,” Dean turns his head to look at her behind him. 

Lizzy sighs and closes her eyes.  “I know.  I’ve gotten used to your stubborn ass always being around and bugging the shit outta me.”

“And I’ve gotten used to your sarcastic ass always being mean to me.”  Dean tightens his grip on her hands.  “Maybe I’m just being a baby.”

“You totally are,” Lizzy confirms.  “But I like that your being a baby.  Means you love me.”  She kisses the back of his neck as one of her hands drags its way up his chest to rest on his shoulder.

“Yeah.  I do,” he confirms.  “I’m sorry if I’m making this worse for you.  I’m just not good at letting shit go if you haven’t noticed.”

“What?” she questions between kisses.  “You bad at letting things go?  No way,” she caustically says as her lips return to his skin once more. 

“Shut up,” Dean jests sadly as he feels her shift behind him.  Lizzy moves so that her legs are tucked under her, leaning forward against his back and craning her head as her lips travel around the side of his neck, over his jaw, and finally land on his lips.

Moving his mouth against hers, Dean does all he can to commit this feeling to memory.  The internal warmth he always experiences whenever she kisses him might be what he’ll miss the most.  It’s everything he cares most about in life in one simple action. 

“I think sometimes you forget,” Lizzy starts to explain, eyes slowly opening and lips brushing his.  “That I love you as much as I do.”

Dean looks at her, her bright brown eyes searching his just inches away, and considers what she says.

“You’re all I want,” she continues.  “Just this, and _that’s_ why I have to stay here.” 

Without another word, because what does one even say to that, Dean turns himself around and presses his lips to hers.  He trusts her completely with this decision, even if he’s taking it horribly, and needs to show her just that.

Dean slowly eases her back until he’s hovering over her reclined form.  Pausing for a moment, he looks down at her lying underneath him with awe.  Every now and then he has these quick flashes of amazement.  When she fusses over him getting hurt, when she’s worries about Sam just as much if not even more than he does, when she speaks her feelings for him aloud, when she does something just too cool to be normal, he finds it hard to understand why he’s earned himself this.  Even after finding out how controlled her life has been up until this point, and all because of him at that, she never once thought about breaking what they have off.  The thought just never was an option to her.

When he feels her hands running down the sides of his face, he focuses again.

“I so don’t deserve you,” Dean admits, lowering himself until he’s propped on his elbows on either side of her head.  She makes a face of sadness over his words and opens her mouth to rebut him.  “And don’t tell me that I do, because I don’t.  I’m sure of it.”

“You’re frustrating,” Lizzy tells him as she once more wraps her legs around his hips. 

“It’s been said,” he answers flatly and kisses her once more, not letting her answer back.  She’d just be lying to him anyways. 

Lips and tongues moving slowly, they take their time.  They’d been able to do whatever they want whenever they want for months now, diving into bed or the backseat of the Impala whenever the mood struck.  Now that luxury is going to be put on a bit of a hiatus and both fully recognize the change.

Lizzy hums her sheer love for him as his lips leave hers and trail their way to her neck.  Tongue slowly dragging across that one spot that always gets her, she moans a little louder when he finds it.  That’s all she needs to be ready for him completely.  Very rarely did he have to do very much to turn her on.  Sometimes it was something obvious like when he would purposefully come out of the shower in just a towel hung low on his hips when Sam was out for a bit, knowing just how she’ll react.  Other times it could be something as insignificant as a certain look he gives her without knowing or a specific tone of voice he uses.  It was just too easy to want him. 

Backing away and sitting up on his knees, Dean takes his shirt off and drops it onto the floor.  Lizzy’s hands couldn’t have gotten to his bare torso faster.  She sits up tall, her legs still around his, while her fingers take in the perfect feel of him.  She looks up straight into his eyes with absolute devotion.  As she places soft kisses on his stomach, she wonders yet again if he’ll ever see himself the way that she sees him. 

“I wish you knew,” Lizzy says up to him before she runs her tongue in a line from hip to hip just above the waist of his jeans. 

Dean moans quietly with the sensation of her tongue while bringing his hands to tangle in her hair.  “Knew what?” he sighs to her, unsure of what she’s telling him.

“I wish you knew,” she further explains while getting up on her knees also to be face to face with him, her hands holding onto his sides.  She stares into him with his hands still in her hair and makes sure he’s listening, _really listening_ to her.  “How absolutely stunning you are.  How truly _good_ you are.”

Dean makes a hurt face, still so unsure of how to react when she says these kinds of things to him.  He’s not good, he’s despicable in his own mind.  He’s the absolute opposite of her thoughts and he’s still trying to make up for his past wrong doings every day.  Attempting to rebut her, Lizzy doesn’t give him the chance.

“And don’t tell me that you aren’t,” she echoes back to him.  “Because you are without a doubt.  You’re wonderful and you need to know it.”

“You’re so lame,” Dean smiles to her, not having anything but humor to give back.

“No, baby,” she starts, hands cupping his face and not laughing with his name calling.  She’s being serious.  “You’re just blind.”

She brings him in again, kissing him with everything she has in her.  All her love and want and faith being shown to him through her actions.  She loves him so much that sometimes it hurt, making moments of his own self-doubt that much tougher to witness.  She’ll get him to see it though, see who he is and that hell didn’t take everything from him… someday.  She’ll find a way make it happen.  She’s determined to do so because he deserved to know.

His hands untangle from her hair and move lower, slipping under her shirt and running along her waist.  Sliding his palms up her sides and taking her t-shirt with them, Lizzy raises her arm high for him to keep going.  Lifting her shirt over her head, Dean sighs.  He loved when she’d lounge around without a bra on when at their motel at night or doing research.  Not only did she look just damn good that way but it made his life easier in times like this. 

Arms tightly wound around his neck, Lizzy slowly brings her lips to Dean’s as she presses her body against his.  She loved that feeling, her bare skin against his as the warmth of him consumes her.  Once he hits the road again, she’ll be cold once more, a bone-deep chill always in her until she gets him back. 

With one arm around her shoulders, Dean scoops the other under her knees, lifting her slightly before putting her back down.  He lays her on her back across the bed, her body stretching out as he watches from his place by her side.  Starting at her cheek, he places a loving hand on her before letting his fingertips travel, first over her lips as she kisses them sweetly, then over her chin, down the hollow of her neck, then her collarbone, breast, ribs, stomach, and hip before coming to her shorts.  His eyes follow his own hand as it moves, admiring her smooth skin, her battle wounds, her curves.  Grabbing her clothing, he slowly lowers what little she had left on down her long legs, once more taking the time to relish the moment. 

Her clothes now off, Dean peers back up at her with desire in his eyes as his hands make their way back up her body.  Lizzy sighs as she watches him carefully.  Granted she’s been told that she was a pretty girl from a young age but she always brushed it off, feeling weird with the idea that she stuck out in any way.  As she got older, the men at bars always hit on her and she would catch guys staring at her often enough, but not until she met Dean did she believe all the hype.  He made her feel beautiful with the way he’d look at her with sheer love and need in his eyes and the way he’d touch her with total worship in his hands.  Once again she thinks, even through everything, that maybe life wasn’t so bad after all.  She had him, didn’t she?

“So beautiful,” Dean says in a low, rough tone as he takes up her right arm, turning it to kiss over her still patched up wound on her forearm that’s sure to leave yet another permanent blemish.  “Could just look at you all day.”

Lizzy reaches over and pulls him in by the back of his head, kissing him deeply once more.  She likes that he’s getting much better at speaking his mind and, more importantly, his emotions.

As Dean’s tongue moves against hers, his hand starts drifting along her skin again.  Lizzy combs her fingers through his short hair while his palm slips underneath her slightly, feeling over the curve of her ass and down the back of her leg.  He lifts her leg straight in the air before parting their lips to place a line of kisses on it, starting at her ankle, down to her knee, and up her inner thigh.  Turning back to look in her eyes, Dean’s hand moves lower, lightly brushing between her legs and eliciting a moan of true appreciation from her.

Moving down the bed and ducking under her leg, Dean situates himself with her legs to either side of his shoulders.  He hooks an arm under each of her thighs.  With a quick lick of his lips and a burning look in his eyes, he lowers his head and gives her one long, slow lick upwards. 

“Oh God,” Lizzy groans out, a heated charge running straight up her spine.  Dean hums happily with her reaction and continues on, making unhurried movements in order to work her up slowly.  Lizzy doesn’t mind his extensive and busy sexual past for this very reason.  He got out the trial and error years long before they met and he’s perfected his personal technique to a wonderful point.  Now she’s just reaping all the benefits as he is damn good at what he does.

When she recognizes that he’s begun using her favorite move, the ‘suck and flick’ as she and Lou lovingly named it years ago, her eyes roll back temporarily.  “Oh, that feels so good, baby.”

Don’t I know, Dean slyly thinks to himself as he keeps working, listening closely to every hitched breath and beautiful moan she makes.  Her sounds where absolute music to his ears and they clue him in to her progress.  He knows a few more minute of this and he steps it up once more.

Her hands run through his hair and her legs tense up, giving him the go ahead.  His eyes look up and focus on her, seeing her closed lids and her heavy breathing.  He continues to watch closely as his finger finds its way slowly inside of her. 

Moaning louder, Lizzy arches her back off the bed with the added sensation.  “Yes.  Oh yes.”

Best reaction he could have asked for.  Dean still finds complete satisfaction every single time she hits the roof from something he does to her and now he gets greedy and impatient.  With the response he gets from her he wastes no time and adds a second digit, once more getting Lizzy to buzz with pleasure.  He’s getting from her just what he hoped to.  Time to go in for the kill.

“Oh fuck.  Dean, oh my God,” she moans as her hips move involuntarily along with him when he begins curling his fingers inside of her, hitting the right spot every time.  Her own fingers curl around the longer hair at the top of his head as she gets hit hard with the utter enjoyment of it all.  He has her right where he wants her.  Her voice elevates, her movements grow bigger, and, most importantly, her cheeks flush.  That’s his number one indicator that she’s done for.

“Yes!  Dean, oh God!  Dean!” she loudly says as her head falls back and body gives in to his efforts.   Grabbing tightly to a cheek in each hand under her, Dean keeps his tongue moving through her orgasm, all the while observing her reaction.  The look on her face, the tightening of her entire body, everything she does in that moment making him so, so happy.  He’s seen this entire country front and back: Niagara Falls, Northern Lights, Appalachian and Rocky Mountain, but nothing can compare to the sight she creates while he makes her lose her mind just like this.  It’s thrilling to feel and sublime to see.   Damn it, he loves her more every fucking day and it’s this right here that makes him sure of it.

“Fuck, baby,” she sighs heavily with a smile as she finally starts coming down, looking down at his face and having to physically pull him off of her with her hands.  “Need a minute,” she pants out while holding his head, a request for him to pause his pursuits as she’s hyper sensitive to every touch in the moment.  Dean smiles to himself while she lies back, catching her breath and gathering herself.  “So good.”

Dean begins kissing her inner thigh again and working upward.  He reaches her hipbone as his eyes still stay locked on hers.  “I love that.”

“What?  My going crazy because of you?” Lizzy smiles down to him.

“Absolutely,” he returns, tongue running its way up her stomach. 

“Mm, well you do a hell of a job, my friend,” Lizzy tells him, eyes closing again as she enjoys the sensation of him making his way up her body.

“Just want to make you happy,” Dean tells her, his lips finding a nipple and making her jump with enjoyment.

“You always make me happy,” Lizzy sighs out, his efforts once more revving her up.

“Try not to forget that,” Dean responds somewhat sadly as he kisses her collar bone.  Lizzy lifts his chin up to look at her.

“I will never forget that,” she tells him.  “Ever.”

Not waiting another second, Dean’s lips crash against hers as he hopes with all he has that she speaks the truth. 

Working open his jeans, Lizzy quickly pushes his clothing down his hips and then uses her feet to lower it down his legs.  Dean takes a moment to free his ankles before returning to her, settling into the familiar space between her legs.  Lizzy brings her hands to the back of his neck and pulls him lower, once more kissing him and taking the moment for exactly what it is.  It’s an expression of how much they need each other, it’s a true display of their love, and it’s their heartbreaking goodbye before not knowing when they’ll get to see each other again. 

Lizzy moans as she drops her head back once more when she feels him enter her slowly.  He’s taking his time and relishing her warmth, all the while looking down at her with nothing short of pure adoration. 

Leaning down, his mouth once more seeks her exposed neck as her head is tilted back on her pillow.  He moves over her slowly, his hips working at an even and calculated pace as Lizzy wraps herself around him, wanting every bit of her skin pressed to his.  Pushing her forehead to his shoulder as her face contorts with bliss, she lets him cover her completely, cocooning her in the safety of his body and his love for her.  Never in her life has she felt more important or more connected to another person. 

“I love you so much,” Lizzy sighs out in her moment of total cherishment as she brings her mouth next to his ear.  Her emotions roll through everything as Dean lifts his head to look at her.  

Without another word, as neither needed to say anything else when they were so good at communicating silently, he kisses her hard, his lips pressing to hers with a sudden urgency.  He felt like he couldn’t get enough of her.  It was never enough of her.  

* * *

 


	19. You Got to Change Your Evil Ways

* * *

Knowing that Dean and Lizzy would most likely be preoccupied with each other for the night, Sam sees the perfect opportunity to get back on track with his hidden life. He's been traveling for three days, missing in the past for three more, and the entire Las Vegas disaster took nearly a week including drive time. After being under heavy watch for so long and out of his supply for a while, he's hurting pretty badly by now. It's been too long since he's juiced up and if the several angry voicemails and text messages he's received from Ruby are any indication, she knows it's been too long for him also.

Pulling out his phone as he lies on his back sprawled across the couch, he stares at his phone while he waits for her reply. It's too quiet for it to be good, meaning Dean and Lizzy are done for the night, and it'll be harder to slip out unnoticed now. He prays their sleeping by now.

It's been over an hour since he sent a text to Ruby:

_In Mass. Need to meet up. Now._

Sam looks over to the clock and counts the seconds as they tick by. He's starting to fall apart. Lizzy was spot on. He's been sick for days; nauseous, shaky, and running a constant fever, and he's been doing everything he can to act normal. Lizzy and Dean still can't find out, they wouldn't understand, at least not yet.

His phone finally beeps and he jolts with excitement. Opening the message immediately, he reads:

_About damn time. Where?_

He's lucky she's available and he doesn't have to wait any longer. Listening intently for any form of noise coming from the room across the hall that previously had been filled with music and God knows what else, he's reassured by utter the silence and he sets up a place and time.

_Church we met at a few months ago. 10 mins._

Standing up from the couch, Sam slowly makes his way down the wooden floored hallway, cautious to not let his boots make a sound. He never undressed from his clothes from the day as he knew he was going to try and leave tonight. He just can't hold out any longer.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, he stops and checks Dean's leather jacket that's hung on the wall for the keys to the car. Closing a hand tightly around them so that they don't knock together and make noise, Sam slowly creeps to the door. He opens it with severe caution, steps out into the cold night air, and closes it behind him with just the faintest of clicks as the door locks in place.

After he hears that click, it's on. He sprints out the porch door, runs around to the back of the apartment and pushes the key hastily into the car lock. Yanking the door open as fast as he can, Sam folds himself quickly into the driver's seat. He turns the key in the ignition and is greeted by whatever local classic rock station Lizzy last put on blasting loudly. He flinches with a start and his hand flies to the volume knob, turning it down all the way. He sits still for a quick second, a hand to his chest as he breathes hard with the sudden moment. Music is now scaring the shit out of him… he needs to get to Ruby now!

Once he calms enough, Sam turns on the headlights and gets ready to drive. When he looks out of the windshield his heart jumps practically out his throat once more.

"Where you off to, Sam?" Lizzy asks loud enough for him to hear in the cab of the car as she stands in front of the Impala, arms crossed over her chest and face angry. She clearly pulled on a t-shirt and shorts hastily in her attempt to get to him before he left and she looks like she should be freezing in the cold winter night. However, she doesn't shiver and her teeth don't chatter. Instead she just looks straight mad.

"Shit," Sam whispers to himself before slowly getting out of the car, taking his time in order to come up with something believable to tell her. He stands tall and plasters on a fake grin that he hopes tells her all is well. "Sorry if I woke you up, Lizzy."

"You didn't," she explains, face still showing her suspicious anger. "My bladder just picked a hell of a time to be full. What's going on?"

"Couldn't sleep," Sam simply says and leaves it at that.

"We haven't had any solid sleep in over a week," Lizzy challenges with a furrowed brow. "You should be sleeping like a little baby by now."

"I wish," Sam huffs a forced laugh and shifts on his feet a bit.

"Where you off to at three in the morning?" Lizzy asks once again as she takes steps around toward the driver's side of the car and stands a few feet from him. She looks up at him and waits for his answer.

"Just going for a drive," Sam shrugs off. "Getting out for a quick second. Maybe grab some food."

"We drove all day for three days straight and you want to go for a drive?" Lizzy incredulously asks. "I just went shopping. Come in, I'll make you something to eat so you don't have to go out." Lizzy holds out her hand to lead him back inside and waits for him to take it while looking up at him with a suspicious smile.

"I, ah, I think I just need…" Sam starts to make an excuse when Lizzy cuts him off.

"You think I don't know something's up?" Lizzy finally admits. "I'm not stupid, Sam. I've been around you for months now. And as much as I know Dean is doing his best to turn a blind eye and pretend all is fine and dandy between you two, I know better. Whatever you're leaving to do… don't." She keeps her hand extended in his direction and waits once again. Sam stands there, staring at her hand and being torn completely. The shape he'll be in could be awful by tomorrow if he doesn't go meet Ruby, but if he leaves Lizzy will be so disappointed and highly suspicious. Shit, shit, shit!

"If you love me," Lizzy starts, looking into his eyes deeply as she pleads with him from the depths of her heart. "If you do in fact look at me like family, you won't leave right now. I honestly don't know what's up with you and where you go when you sneak out, but Sam-I-Am, please, if you care about me at all… stay here."

Sam sighs heavily before taking off his jacket. He takes the few steps to close the distance between the two of them and wraps Lizzy up in it.

"You're gonna get sick out here," he says to her quietly and with defeat.

"I'll still look better than you," Lizzy remarks about his own sick looking state as she hugs her arms around herself once she can feel the warmth from his oversized jacket.

"Looks like a dress on you," Sam flatly comments while reaching into the open car door and turning off the Impala.

"Not my fault you're a fucking gigantor," Lizzy says back quickly and a small smile creeps across her face once she's sure he's staying. "Let's go. It's wicked cold out and my feet are starting to freeze to the pavement."

"You're barefoot!?" Sam asks with shock as he looks down to her feet, toes wiggling against the freezing winter chill. "You're fucking crazy you know that?"

Sam walks to stand next to her and before he could protest Lizzy jumps onto his back. Her arms wrap around his neck and she leans into him, finally shivering against the cold. Something about the contact with her makes Sam warm up from the inside.

"It's been said," Lizzy admits, echoing Dean's words to her from just a few short hours ago as Sam starts walking back inside. "I'm glad you're staying."

Sam tightens his grip on her legs and takes in the weight of her on his back with happiness. "Just trying to appease the nag."

"Don't make me hurt you," Lizzy warns while kissing his cheek sweetly. His cheek tingling from the display of affection, he gets them inside quickly to keep her from freezing to death.

* * *

"I feel better already," Sam sighs as he leans back in the recliner, in his 'spot', in her living room.

"Best medicine I know of," Lizzy remarks while putting out the last of the joint. "It's a cure-all. Seriously."

"Mm," Sam agrees while closing his eyes. The comfortable chair, the smell of cooking frozen pizza wafting in from the kitchen, the relaxing effects of some good weed, hearing her voice… maybe it was worth sticking around after all. He does honestly feel better. His nausea is practically gone, he's hungry for once, and he's relaxed instead of on edge for once. The only problem is that his phone won't stop vibrating in his pocket now. He knows Ruby's pissed at him for not showing up. Good thing that in his haze he couldn't care less. He's enjoying Lizzy's company enough to not give a shit about the demon. Maybe when they next meet up he'll get Ruby off his back if he puts her on hers… that usually works.

Lizzy lies back on the couch wrapped in the comforter she took out for Sam and tries to get the chill out of her system. She really shouldn't have gone outside in so little clothing in February but it was a dire situation. If she stopped to properly bundle up he would have been gone before she reached the door.

"I talked to John," Lizzy starts.

"About what?" Sam wonders to her.

"Dean." Lizzy looks to Sam and starts confessing like weed always makes her do. "I asked him to go easier on him."

"Yeah right," Sam brushes off, knowing his father never went easy on anyone. His expectations were higher than reasonable for every person he'd ever met, especially his kids. Especially Dean.

"He listened though," Lizzy informs him. "I told him that Dean has no idea how awesome he is as an adult and that he shouldn't just be thought of as only your babysitter and keeper as a kid."

"You said that to dad!?" Sam asks with bug eyes. "And you're still alive!?"

"I said it in different words, but yeah," Lizzy explains. "I had to try, didn't I?"

"I guess," Sam answers, agreeing with her logic. Opportunities like that don't come along very often, if at all.

"And he listened to me. I think he took what I said to heart. I think me kicking his ass got enough of his attention to let him know he should take me seriously."

"Probably," Sam says with a smile. "I would've given anything to have been able to watch that fight." Very rarely did  _anyone_ get the drop on his dad.

"I got him good until he pulled out his gun," Lizzy smiles with pride. "It's a fucking shame he remembers none of that convo though. Now your brother will never believe me."

"Believe you about what?"

"About him being the great person that he is," Lizzy explains while lying back again to look up at the ceiling. "Dean has no idea how good a dude he is. I'm starting to think he never will."

"He won't," Sam returns, knowing how true her words are. Dean may be narcissistic in some aspects of his life, but it's a mask. He doesn't view himself as a good person. Never has and it's a shame.

As both get lost in thought temporarily, the room grown silent.

"You know, I was thinking…"

"That's never good," Sam remarks quickly.

"Shut it. I was thinking that we're perfect opposites," Lizzy comments quietly while still staring at the white ceiling above her and letting her mind continue to wander.

"How do you figure, Cheech?" Sam asks, eyes closed and forehead wrinkled. She always comes up with the most rambling thoughts while stoned.

"Easy. Everything about me is the opposite with you, Chong," Lizzy explains.

"No way," Sam brushes off, thinking she's just being a pothead.

"Everything, I swear," she reiterates. "Go ahead, pick something about me."

"Huh?" Sam asks as he doesn't understand the question.

"Pick, like, a detail about me that makes me… uh, me," Lizzy requests.

"Um, ok," Sam agrees with hesitation. "You eat a lot."

"And you don't," Lizzy responds quickly. "In fact, I eat tons of shitty food while you eat like a bird and only eat food for rabbits. You're a brabbit… or a rird."

"A rird?" Sam incredulously asks with an involuntary grin.

"Yeah, a rird," she echoes.

"Wow," Sam huffs with her ridiculous statement. "You are  _ripped_."

"So are you so you totally understand what I'm saying."

"Yeah, sadly I do," he admits. "Ok, how about this? I like research stuff and you'd rather rip throats."

"Exactly what I'm talking about," Lizzy says with excitement.

"You might be onto something there."

"Oh, I know I am," Lizzy declares. "You never watch TV and I worship the damn thing."

"And I don't like loud music so much while you'd rather blast your eardrums until they rupture."

"It's the only way to really enjoy a good song."

"Sure it is," Sam answer back sarcastically. "Alright, how about this; I'm not a whorebag and you are."

"Whoa!" Lizzy calls out with shock as she snaps her focus onto him. "Did you really just call me a whorebag?"

"Yep," Sam smiles while nudging her with his sock-covered foot.

"I bang one person exclusively, dude," Lizzy argues. "A whorebag that does not make."

"Ok, you have a point there," Sam admits to her.

"That's another opposite!" Lizzy loudly exclaims. "I enjoy all the wonderful and amazing aspects of having an active and healthy sex life…"

"A little too much…." Sam quickly interjects quietly.

"And you are terrified of getting your dick wet," Lizzy finishes her statement with a smirk.

"I'm not scared of sex, Lizzy," Sam rebuts quickly.

"You don't make a good argument for yourself then. When was the last time you got laid, dude? And no lying. I've lived with you for months and all's been quiet on the Sammy front from what I've seen."

Sam pauses. He hadn't gotten laid that she knows of. Ruby was a secret after all.

"At least I've never banged anyone in a dirty ally by a dumpster before," Sam argues, recalling a specific incident a few months back when the three of them decided to take a night off and she and Dean mysteriously disappeared out the side door for a while.

"That's low," Lizzy informs him quickly, pointing accusingly at Sam. This was not exactly a high point in Lizzy's recent history.

"It's the truth," Sam fights right back.

"Oh, come on! I was so hammered that night," Lizzy explains away. "I drank waaaaay too much."

"Can you even do that anymore?" Sam laughs at her, knowing her history with booze and how high her tolerance can be.

"Yes I can smart ass," Lizzy says right back. "And it's not my fault your brother is so fucking hot that I need to do such things to him when I do find myself wasted."

"Gross," Sam says, hating the turn the conversation has taken.

"You know, it was actually pretty fun," Lizzy admits to him with the aim of making him uncomfortable for calling her out. "And naughty."

"Enough," Sam waves his hand in the air to stop her, a flush coming across his skin.

"Seriously," Lizzy keeps going, ignoring him completely. "Dean pushed me against the wall of the bar and then he took my…"

"Alright!" Sam loudly gives in, afraid of getting a mental picture. "Alright, new topic."

"Be my guest," Lizzy giggles at his reaction.

"Ok. You'd rather drink your face off…"

"And you'd prefer have a few beers and then bitch out like a little bitch," Lizzy finishes while throwing a pillow at him.

"I am not a bitch!" Sam rebuts incredulously.

"Maybe just a little one," Lizzy smiles back at him.

"Fine. I got another one for you. I'm really, really, ridiculously good looking and you need to wear a bag over your head just to go out in public," Sam jokes while throwing the pillow right back at her.

"Hey! I think we both know who the real good looking one in this room is, jackass!" Lizzy laughs right back while pointing in a circle to her own face with a joking smirk.

"Ok, you got me there," Sam admits, cheeks a little rosy with his admittance of his thinking that she's good looking. He wasn't afraid to recognize that she was beautiful… even if it felt wrong of him to do so for some reason.

"Ooh, I have a really good one. I'm rocking the angel blood and you've got the whole demon blood thing going on," Lizzy adds lightly before realizing how hefty an observation it is. They both go silent as they consider the statement.

"Jesus," Sam huffs after some contemplation, the mood in the room going from playful to serious in a split second. "That is  _fucked up_."

"Yeah it is," Lizzy agrees completely once the idea settles in. "Never really thought of it that way before now."

"Shit," Sam sighs. "We really are opposites." Sam pauses for a moment before adding to the conversation in a way that will surely bring up a sore subject. "Maybe that's why we kissed."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Lizzy says with levity but really she's nervous. This was something she was definitely looking to avoid.

"The saying," Sam explains. "Opposites attract."

"But we're not attracted to each other," Lizzy rebuts.

"Well, no…" Sam trails off, not needing to be completely honest here. He really shouldn't have watched that video with the shifters in Vegas... "But I'm saying maybe that's why what happened, happened… twice."

Lizzy props herself up on an elbow and looks over to Sam with annoyance. "Dude, that was an accident both times. I was shitfaced and mourning, then you were shitfaced and mourning. It meant nothing."

"I know that," Sam tells her. "But if it was nothing then why didn't you tell Dean the truth when he asked?"

"Because I know him, Sam," Lizzy explains. "And so do you. You know he'd never understand. He'd react first and cope in a really shitty way later."

"But we lied," Sam rebuts. He doesn't want to drop anymore lies onto the untruthful pile he's already created.

"And we always will," Lizzy says. "He'll be jealous and blow it way out of proportion and be suspicious of us all the time over nothing. It isn't worth the unnecessary pain it'd put him through… we've all be through enough." Lizzy sighs loudly. "Sam, he thinks I'm gonna leave him."

"I know." Sam could see the worry clear as day all over his brother for days now.

"We let him in on this right now, he'll never believe me when I tell him I'm not gonna drop him, ever. Sam, please, can't we just shut up about this one and let it go?"

Reluctantly, Sam agrees. "Yeah, sure." For his brother's sake he decides to go along with her. She makes some great points and Dean has been through enough mental torture with all the new discoveries as of late. And his and Lizzy's 'legal' marriage. And their sex tape…

"Thank you," Lizzy tells him with all honesty. "I really appreciate that."

"Anything for you dear," Sam jokes with an eye roll before sitting back again and closing his eyes.

"Aw, you're so sweet, honeybun."

"Hey," a groggy voice calls over to the two in the living room from the doorway. Sam and Lizzy whip their heads in the direction of the voice with anxiety. How much did he hear?"

"Hey baby," Lizzy says happily, looking to appear innocent.

"S'that pizza I smell?" Dean wonders in his rough, sleep addled tone as he rubs his eyes and attempts to adjust to the light in the room. Lizzy laughs, over what she isn't sure. Could be the fact that he looked downright adorable with his bed head sticking out every which way as he asks about food in the middle of the night in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. Could be the relief she feels over her after he clearly missed Sam and her very involved conversation. It's probably both.

"Yes Hungry Man, it is," Lizzy answers with a grin.

"Sweet," Dean answers back while she gets out from under her blanket and stands up. She walks to him in the doorway and drops a hand on his chest while pushing up on the tiptoes.

"Take a load off while I go get it for us." She kisses him on the cheek before walking past him and disappearing down the hall.

Dean smirks as he takes a seat on one end of the couch, pressing his hair down as he settles in.

"She's something, ain't she Sammy?" Dean squints over to his brother with absolute pride, not being able to hold back his fondness in the moment.

Sam stops a beat before answering with complete honesty and an unstoppable smile. "Yeah. She's something all right." He really does think so.

* * *

 


	20. Love You or Leave You

* * *

Walking slowly around the corner of her apartment in the late morning, this time bundled in her winter coat and boots, Lizzy stops when she see them packing up the shiny black car she herself has called home for a long time now. She sighs to herself. Maybe Dean was right. This felt too wrong to be the right thing to do. Everything in her is practically shoving her toward that car, pleading for her to settle into the back seat, pull out her IPod, and start planning her next prank on whoever last fucked with her.

"Cut the shit," Lizzy whispers to herself before she forces herself to keep walking. "You're stronger than this." This was the right thing to do. She had to do this. It's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do. It's the right thing to do….

She forces one foot in front of the other until she reaches the car. Once she's near them her sorrow grows even deeper and makes it much harder to manage. "Well this sucks ass," Lizzy loudly announces with her hands on her hips.

"No shit," Dean grumbles. He's been in the worst of moods all morning with the knowledge of their leaving her behind weighing on him. As the seconds ticked by and he got closer and closer to their time of departure, the ruder and meaner his attitude became. The lovely parting blow job Lizzy woke him up with that morning didn't even help lighten him up all that much. He snapped at Sam when he attempted to inform him about the hunt that they were headed to and he was even short with Lizzy when she asked if they needed anything from her arsenal to take with them.

"But it'll be ok," she quietly reminds him with a heavy heart and a hand running up and down his arm.

"I'm gonna grab something I forgot inside." Dean sulks off around the building and disappears for from sight.

"I think we're all set," Sam says to Lizzy, ready to get the miserable goodbye out of the way.

Lizzy shares a lopsided grin with Sam before walking to him and locking him in a tight hug, her arms around his neck.

"I'm gonna miss you," she admits immediately.

"You too," Sam returns, knowing she won't understand just how much her absence will affect him.

"I didn't tell him," she says to him, a hand on his opposite cheek.

"You didn't?" he asks with utter surprise. Sam assumed Lizzy would have told Dean by now about sneaking out last night and once they hit the road the firestorm that is Dean's anger would reign down on him hard.

"No."

"Why not?" Sam wonders.

"Just stop whatever it is you're doing," she asks of him. "You don't have to explain any of it or come up with any excuses for me. I don't need to know why either. Just, whatever it is… stop." Backing away he sees the sincerity in her eyes as she looks up at him. She knows whatever it was that nearly made him leave last night can't be good.

Speechless, Sam hugs her in again, this time her arms circle around his waist and Sam closes his eyes as he rests his arms around her shoulders. The guilt trip. She is so damn good at those. What the fuck does he do now?

After a solid minute, Lizzy steps back and looks up at Sam to try and read his face. He looks sick as a dog again, pale face and dark circles under his eyes. He looks young to her in the moment, like a lost, sad kid who's been told his dog died.

"And take care of yourself," she scolds like a mother. "You still look like shit."

"Thanks again mom," Sam jests. She's always on their asses about better caring for themselves. She's right though.

"Watch it," she warns with a doleful smile. "If he ever makes you insane, call me, huh?"

"Done," Sam answers as he lowers his head to drop a kiss on her cheek. Lingering by her face for a split second, he has a very remiss smile on his lips as he takes in her scent one last time before standing straight again. "Bye, Lizzy."

"Bye." Lizzy nearly chokes on the word as it leaves her lips, surprised by Sam's true sadness. He was always unhappy to part ways with her but this time it seemed harder for him. Much harder.

As Sam folds himself into the passenger seat, Lizzy sighs heavily. One down, the tougher one still to go as Dean makes his way around the apartment and heads her way. The ache in her heart nearly ends her with his miserable expression.

"You're killing me, you know that?" Dean says to her with a wrinkled face as he walks up to her.

"Oh stop. I'm not killing you," Lizzy dismisses as she snakes her hands into his coat and around his back, tucking herself inside his heavy jacket. Draping his arms over her shoulders he looks down at her.

"I hate everything about this."

"I know you do," Lizzy responds as her sadness doubles the second she presses herself against him.

"It's wrong."

"No it's not, and you'll see that," Lizzy assures. "I want to not just love you, but actually like you through all this. Don't you want me to keep liking being around you?"

"I'm ok if you don't," Dean lies while getting a smile from her. "I can live with that."

"Well I can't," Lizzy answers back with a grin while hugging him tight and pressing her cheek to his chest. She can hear his heartbeat though his many layers and it makes her feel better at the same time as it saddens her.

"Keep the salt lines up," Dean instructs. "And don't remove the hex bags we hid around. And never leave home without holy water and a weapon, ever."

"I won't," she says, just trying to assuage him.

"If anything happens, you call me right away," Dean says, turning his head under to look her in the eye. "Promise you'll call me."

"I promise," she swears and kisses him quickly. "I promise I'll keep myself super safe. You have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Dean answers with clear disbelief.

"And you have to do the same," she warns. "No getting majorly hurt. Or killed."

"Deal," he answers while dropping his chin on her head and hugging her in tighter. "I can't promise I won't kill Sam now that you won't be around though."

"You need to watch him," Lizzy tells him seriously. "Like a fucking hawk."

"What else is new?" Dean grumbles.

"Just… seriously, watch him. Please?" Lizzy asks up to him, her pleading eyes meeting his and he shares a confused expression.

"Sure," Dean answers, still unsure exactly why she's so adamant about keeping an eye on Sam.

Lizzy sighs while looking at him and cups his face with her hands, pulling him into a long, meaningful kiss.

"Shit, I'm gonna miss that," she complains quickly before kissing him again.

"Damn it," Dean laments when they end their kiss and he hugs her in again.

"Call me when you get to wherever you're stopping tonight," she requests.

"I will," Dean answers her.

"And call me when you need anything," Lizzy adds. "And before you go to sleep at night. And when your alone and horny. And…

"Yeah, I get it," Dean stops her. "I'll call whenever I can."

They back away from each other and Dean stands looking at her.

"The second you're ready to come back, you'll tell me?" Dean requests of her.

"Of course," Lizzy agrees.

"Ok," Dean responds while pulling out his car keys and playing with them before prying his feet of the pavement, moving to the driver's side. He pulls open the door slowly and hesitantly gets in, slamming the door shut behind him. Starting the engine, Dean screws his eyes shut with frustration.

The knock on the side window is what makes Dean's eyes fly open. He sees her looking at him expectantly through the glass and he rolls down the window.

"You forgetting something?" she says to him with an annoyed tone.

"Am I?" he asks with utter confusion.

Lizzy practically dives through the open window and attacks him, kissing him hard one last time as Sam shakes his head with a smile at her behavior.

"I love you," she tells him once she lets him go.

"Ah," Dean responds, now knowing exactly what he forgot. "Love you too."

"Ok, now you can go," Lizzy tells him while wriggling out the window. She grabs Dean's hand on her way and gives it a reassuring squeeze before letting go.

Standing in the small lot while watching the Impala back out, that pull to make it all stop is still there. Lizzy holds strong and lets them go, waving sadly as they disappear down the road. Once out of sight, Lizzy closes her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

"Alright Cas, I know you're here," she admits, having felt his presence the second she got outside. "Come on out."

She blinks and Castiel is standing right in front of her.

"You know, you can't really look after me like you used to," Lizzy informs him. "I can sense when you're around now."

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Castiel explains. "The way we last parted was regrettable to say the least."

"I know," Lizzy concurs completely, hands sheepishly being buried in her pockets. "And I overreacted. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you."

"It was understandable," Castiel returns. "You had not had the proper time to figure out how to handle all that you are now aware of."

"Still haven't," Lizzy huffs.

"I assume that is why you are here instead of in the car with Sam and Dean," Castiel correctly deduces.

"Hey, I'd give you a cigar if I had one," Lizzy answers, letting Castiel know he's right.

"Why would you do that?" Castiel wonders.

"No reason," she gives up. Sometimes it was easier than explaining things to the angel. "Cas, I'm not mad at you, ok? I've had time to think it all over and while I think it sucks that you had to pull the whole Back to the Future crap on us, I'm glad you did. I needed to know."

"I'm happy you see it my way," he says with relief.

"And I really respect that you refused to be involved with what happened to my parents," she adds. "You've put yourself on the line for me a few times now. Just know how much I appreciate you for that."

Castiel smiles small, something he rarely if ever does.

"Now I just have to figure out how not to look at Dean with spite and I can get on with life," Lizzy truthfully tells him.

"You will," Castiel assures her.

"Damn, I hope so."

"I don't believe you are hearing me," Castiel tries again more seriously. "I am  _certain_  that you and Dean will be just fine."

Lizzy looks at Castiel suspiciously for a moment. "Let me guess; you know something I don't?"

"If you are referring to your personal strength of character and sheer devotion to Dean, then yes. I know something that you do not."

Lizzy laughs quietly with the angel's words. He really is out to help her and be on her side after all.

"Thanks," Lizzy tells him.

"You're very welcome," Castiel returns.

"Um, so… you gotta explain something to me. Why does Dean deserve to have someone made for him? Why him?" Lizzy questions, knowing she may not get a forthright answer.

"He'll need it." Castiel looks away, something he did when Lizzy was certain he was holding back.

"He'll need it? That's all I get?" Lizzy wonders with narrowed eyes.

"As Dean would say, damn straight," the angel answers with a hint of levity.

"Excuse me, but was as that a joke!?" Lizzy smiles at him with shock.

"I never joke," Castiel says with a straight face, eliciting a laugh from her.

"So what now?" Lizzy asks him.

"Now, you live on," Castiel explains. "And when the time comes for you to step up, you'll know it."

"So mysterious," she flatly observes.

"For now," Castiel returns before disappearing into the night without warning.

"And then there was one," Lizzy mutters to herself while walking towards the front of the building to head inside and start her healing process.

Once inside she heads for the living room to watch some TV and unwind for a second, hopefully without regretting her decision too much, but she stops short when she walks through the doorway. Her second hand coffee table has some items on it that she's never seen before. Walking closer she starts to identify what exactly everything is. The first thing she recognizes is the picture of her parents she found when she searched through the photos at her house. Slowly picking it up and looking closely, once more viewing her mother and father as a young, carefree, and _honest_  couple, she feels the tug in her heart over how much she misses them. Curiosity getting the best of her, she looks over at the other items. A cassette tape labeled Led Zeppelin in her dad's handwriting, a crayon written note asking her out, a glittery pink bottle of pink nail polish, a couple hair elastics that had been in Sam's hair at one point, and a note. Overwhelmed already she takes a deep breath before unfolding the note with her name on it that is written in all caps… not doubt Dean's handwriting.

_L,_

_A few souvenirs I took from out trip. I just want you to remember the good stuff that you've been lucky enough to have. I'm sorry life is what it is right now. I hope you can figure it all out soon and I can get you back. Won't be the same without you._

_Love you,_

_Hot Shot_

Putting the note back down, Lizzy sighs. Amazing. He's amazing. No matter what her purpose in this life is supposed to be, screw it. She belonged with him and that was a fact.

Shaking the bottle of nail polish she had used for little Lou's manicure just a few days before, Lizzy grabs her phone out of her back pocket. Quickly dialing his number, she pins the cellphone between her shoulder and ear while unscrewing the cap of the bottle.

"Miss me already?" Dean cockily asks on the other end of the line.

"You knew I'd call," Lizzy calls him out as she places one hand splayed out on the coffee table and leans forward.

"Yeah, I did," Dean admits.

"Have I told you lately how awesome I think you are?" Lizzy asks him with a cheek-breaking smile as she starts to paint her nails in the Pepto-pink and quite ridiculous color.

"Not in the past few hours."

"I love you so much," she tells him from the bottom of her heart.

"Knew you'd like it," he responds, his smile obvious on the other end.

"And by the way, when did you become such a fucking klepto…" ****

* * *


	21. Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

_Four Weeks Later_

* * *

 

Castiel appears standing outside of the hospital room to find Sam at the side of Dean's bed, sitting and watching vigil. After everything that just happened the brothers are a disheveled wreck, Dean beaten to a pulp by Alistair and Sam frightfully strong in all the wrong ways. Sam looks over to the angel with rage, knowing it's partially Castiel's fault what happened to his brother. He stands and leaves Dean's side for the first time since they arrived at the hospital when he walks out into the hallway to talk to the angel.

"Sam…" Castiel begins but gets cut off immediately.

"Get in there and heal him," Sam demands with fire behind his words. "Miracle. Now!"

"I can't," Castiel sadly returns, wishing he could help. He didn't want to involve Dean in this in the first place and he certainly didn't want what happened afterwards to occur either. His lack of power right now makes him useless… and burdened.

"You and Uriel put him in there…" Sam's clenched jaw releases just enough to talk.

"No," the angel denies. It wasn't him who put Dean in there… or at least he didn't want it to be him.

"…Because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together."

"I don't know what happened. That trap...it shouldn't have broken. I am sorry." Castiel's guilt is killing him. He's felt guilt a lot since meeting the Winchesters, and especially since watching over Lizzy her entire life.

"This whole thing was pointless. You understand that?" Sam continues to attack. "The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers."

"Perhaps Alastair was lying." Castiel can only hope this wasn't all for not.

"No," Sam confirms, fists balled. "He wasn't."

Sam walks away and returns to Dean's side. Castiel once again walks to the doorway but something in him stops him from entering. With Sam's anger, he feels unwelcomed.

"Get Lizzy," Sam darkly commands, knowing she needs to be here for this.

"Sam, I…."

"Go get her!" Sam even more sternly tells him.

With Sam booming voice the angel is gone, leaving Sam once more alone with the sound of tubes pumping and heart monitors beeping menacingly.

Dean's quiet and raspy voice suddenly attempts to call out for Sam after hearing his brother's shout pulls him to consciousness.

"Dean!" Sam whips his head around to see his brother's open eyes. He leans forward and grabs Dean's hand. "Hey, hey, hey. I'm right here, Dean."

Dean tries to talk through the tube in his throat, but again can't.

"I'm getting the doctor. Stay awake, ok?" Sam leaves the room and leaves Dean in peace. He closes his eyes and begins scouring his brain for what happened. Slowly it all comes back; Alistair in the angel's trap, him getting out, getting choked out by the demon. And his words… Alistair's words. He said Dean started it all.

A doctor comes into the room, two nurses following close behind, and suddenly he's being poked, prodded, and all around manhandled.

"Breathe in deeply on three," the doctor directs as he grabs ahold of the now disconnected tube in Dean's throat. "One, two, three." The tube is pulled out swiftly and Dean doubles over coughing, the irritation making him nearly choke all over again.

"You're ok," a young nurse says to him, rubbing his back. "Just calm down and breathe slowly."

The look he gives her through his coughing fit, one of sheer hatred, makes Sam relax a little. That's his brother through and through, thankfully.

"Do you remember what happened, Mr. Winchester?" the doctor quickly asks him once his coughing has calmed.

"Ah," Dean tried to blink through the bright light being shined in his eyes. His voice comes out raspy and damaged. "Got jumped."

It's then out of nowhere Alistair's words echo in his head.

_And it is written…_

"Where were you?" the doctor questions again, Dean's heart rate being checked by one of the nurses while the other checks his IV lines.

"Don't remember," Dean lies as all he can really hear is Alistair's voice sadistically torturing him with the truth.

… _That the first seal shall be broken…_

"Try to," the doctor asks of him flatly, having clearly asked these same questions several times before.

"I don't remember," Dean grits through his teeth as his anger begins to boil.

_…When a righteous man sheds blood in hell…_

Looking off to the side, he catches Sam's eyes with his own. He pleads silently to his brother, begging him to get these people away from him. Sadly, Sam doesn't move. He knows that the doctors are just trying to help and in his condition, Dean needs help.

_…As he breaks, so shall it break._

Dean closes his eyes and lays back, hands still assaulting him with their medical assistance, and he does what he can to hold it together. He needs answers, answers that will hopefully prove Alistair a liar, but deep down he already knows the demon told him the truth. He could tell when Alistair was lying to him over time. He didn't lie this time.

At least he knows Lizzy is on the way. If Castiel gave even the slightest shit about him still, he'd bring Lizzy there to him as soon as he can, to help him get through this.

* * *

"Fuck me," Lizzy complains as she is midstride towards the beer taps behind the bar. Cas's coming in hot and she knows it.

She's felt a weird shift in the air that's made her uneasy the entire day. Something was happening but she just didn't know what. At one point a few hours ago she thought she was getting the beginnings of an unprovoked panic attack when she suddenly couldn't breathe for a few while in her car outside the bar before her shift started. And then right after the headache hit, along with heavy a pressure on her chest. She knows something is not quite right but neither Dean nor Sam called her today. If something was truly wrong, they would have contacted her by now. They always did.

And now this? Cas coming for a visit at work? Really? He's just gonna pop in, out of thin air, in the middle of her work place? Son of a bitch.

"Elizabeth," Castiel calls to her, making Lizzy turn around to look at him, pint glass still in hand.

"Cas," Lizzy loudly calls with wide eyes, upset to see him. "What the hell are you doing here, dude? You're lucky no one saw you just drop in, literally." She looks around and is relieved when no customers seem to have noticed.

"You need to come with me," Castiel quickly tells her, in a hurry to leave.

"Whoa you look terrible," she worries when she sees his condition. He's dirty, his shoulders slumped in defeat, and he's hurt. She can feel his pain. It's in his back and… his grace?

"I'm ok," Castiel pushes her comment aside.

"No you're not, liar," Lizzy tells him.

"I'm here because of Dean," Castiel blurts out, desperate to get to the point. He left the hospital hours ago to handle some business and by now Dean and Sam are both expecting her at any point. "He needs you."

"What's wrong?" Lizzy asks, fear washing across her face and heart racing instantly as she puts the pint glass in her hand down and leans over the bar towards Castiel. "He's hurt, isn't he?"

"Yes," Castiel tells her. "We need to go."

"Shit, I should have known," she berates herself. The dreadful feeling she's had, the inability to breathe, the headache… she's felt  _him_  all day. He's been hurt this entire time. "Go outside and I'll meet you there."

Castiel turns around and hightails it out the front door as Lizzy rushes around the bar to leave.

"Johnny, I have to go!" she shouts over to her coworker as she runs.

"What's wrong?" he asks with sheer concern at her demeanor.

"It's Dean," she barely explains. "I really… I have… I have to go."

"Yeah, ok," Johnny answers back, getting her panic as a clear signal that something is seriously wrong. "Call me if you need anything."

"Thank you," she shouts over her shoulder as she sprints out the bar door and to Castiel standing in the middle of the parking lot. "What's going on? Is Dean ok?"

Without a word, he presses a hand to her forehead and they disappear.

* * *

Landing abruptly in the middle of the hospital hallway, Lizzy looks around her frantically for Dean or his room.

"Where is he?" she asks of Castiel, eyes still darting around when she suddenly sees the easily recognized frame of a man on the other end of the hall leaning against a door way. "Sam!"

He turns quickly towards the familiar voice and sees her running to him, her heeled boots clicking loudly as she does. Sam jogs a few steps towards her to get to her sooner, Lizzy slamming into him in a hug once she reaches him.

"What happened!?" she frantically asks him, her cheek pressed to his chest. "Sam, is he ok?"

"He'll be fine," Sam lets her know, the fear dropping away slightly with the news. "He's already awake."

"Awake!?" she worries up to him, pushing away from their embrace and grasping hard onto his arms. "How long was he out?"

"A couple hours," Sam explains. "It was scary for a little bit, but he's Dean. He always comes through."

"Oh shit, Sam," she sighs. "What the hell happened?"

"Sit with me for a second," Sam requests, pulling her by her hand towards a waiting room that is empty but she doesn't follow. He feels the tug on his arm when she stays in place.

"I need to see him,  _now_  Sam," Lizzy tells him with glassy eyes, her heart pounding a mile a minute. She needs to get to him. It's her only thought.

"Five minutes," Sam asks of her. "He's ok, I swear. And you need to know some stuff before you go in there."

Begrudgingly she walks with Sam to the waiting area, sitting in a chair facing him and keeping her need to get to Dean at bay. Sam would know best right now and if she should talk to him first, she will. But it's killing her. And ever since she got into the building, the physical pain she feels has doubled with her closeness to him, and her emotional pain is through the roof. It's like she's pulling it off of him and onto her without even trying.

"The angels took Dean," Sam begins to explain as he attempts to sort through the story correctly. "They got their hands on Alistair, strung him up and then called on Dean for help."

"Help with what?" Lizzy asks, a hand clutching her chest as the toll her emotions takes grows larger.

"A bunch of angels in Cas' garrison were getting whacked and they needed to know who was behind it," Sam says before taking a deep breath. "They needed Dean to get that information from Alistair. He's the only one who'd be able to work that out of him."

Lizzy backs up in her chair, ice running through her veins as horror coats her completely. "Torture?" she asks, the word not fully leaving her mouth as it dies on her tongue before it can full form. "They wanted him to…?"

Sam nods. He took the idea badly too, but the fear and absolute anger written in her expression is much worse than he could have hope for.

"Did he?" she implores, wide eyes filled with utter fright.

Sam nods solemnly again and Lizzy closes her eyes, the teardrops cresting as she does. He can't do that. He can't. It'll break him… and maybe it did. She always feared something like this happening once she discovered the truth behind his time in hell. Dean did the unthinkable and did it well for ten whole years. He came back to her destroyed, not the same man he was before, and reliving any of that could be damaging beyond repair. What that must have put him through...

"I knew it," she whispers. "Something felt off all day, felt horrible, and dark. I could feel him, Sam. I could feel him when he did it. He's not ok. This is so bad."

Sam leans forward, takes her hands in his, and looks at her, pain and all. He hasn't seen her in over a month and this was not how he wanted their little reunion to go. He and Dean had planned to surprise her in a few days, dropping in for a little bit before heading back on the road and hopefully bringing her with them. They both agreed they needed her around, her presence keeping both in check and making life more manageable. Sam's re-involvement in his mental exercises alone proves that he needs her around to help him. She asked him to stop and he wanted to, but the second she was out of sight he dove right back in.

"How'd he get hurt?" Lizzy finally asks, wondering how things went from Dean torturing Alistair to Dean being in a hospital bed.

"The trap sucked," Sam tells her honestly. "Alistair got out and attacked. Dean's lucky to be alive."

"The angels let this happen?" she asks, the fire burning hotter. "Their trap sucked so Dean is seriously hurt because of them?"

"And he's alive because Castiel tried to help," Sam rebuts. He's had time to think some things over. He's still angry at Castiel, very angry, but at least he came to Dean's aid when it counted the most. "If Cas didn't bust in and try to fend Alistair off when he did, Dean would be dead."

Lizzy goes from wanting to kill Castiel to wanting to kiss him in a matter of seconds. She conflicted once more as to how to feel about the angel. He needs to stop doing this to her, pulling her back and forth between trust and disappointment.

"Then where's Alistair now?" Lizzy asks, her grip tightening on his hands. "Did he get away?"

"No," Sam slowly answers. "He's dead."

"Good," Lizzy darkly responds, taking some pleasure in the fact that the thing that did this to her Dean is dead. Otherwise she would be out the door in a second, holy water and magic knife at the ready. "So Cas took care of him?"

"Not exactly," Sam sadly informs her, eyes falling onto the floor. Get it over with, he thinks to himself. Cas knows and Dean will soon too. He should just tell Lizzy and get it over with. She deserves that much after caring about him and trying to help him as much as she has. The letdown she'll have in him might be crushing, but it's right to tell her.

"Then how?" Lizzy asks, Sam's following silence keeping her on edge. "Sam…"

"Lizzy, I…" Sam starts but doesn't get through telling her. "It was me… that…." He shakes his head, mad at himself already for not having the balls to outright say it.

"No," Lizzy says with fear, taking her hands back from his grip. "No way. Sam, please…."

When he looks back up to her he looks so small. The guilt and shame in his eyes making him look like a kid again, waiting for a parent to dole out a punishment.

Lizzy immediately covers her face with her hands and brings her knees up to her chest. She sobs her disappointment and fright. She knew he was up to something, knew for sure when she caught him sneaking out of her place at two in the morning a month ago, and in the back of her mind this was it all along but something in her kept forcing her to deny her second guessing. He was Sam, he was doing the right thing, he wasn't using his powers. She and Dean did whatever they could to get him back on track. But she never was able to fully get through to him.

"I should have known," she cries out into her hands, Sam watching helplessly as he feels worse and worse for what he's done. "I knew something was wrong with you and I did nothing. I didn't do anything."

"Lizzy, it was my decision to make," Sam says, a hand dropping on her knee. "I saved Dean. It's a good thing."

"No, Sam," Lizzy looks up, her makeup running down her cheeks. "No it isn't."

"You just have to look at it differently, just once," Sam implores from her.

"I've looked at it every which way," she says through her tears. "I've tried to see it your way, I have. But this still can't be good!"

"Lizzy, please," Sam begs while reaching to wipe her makeup smudged tears but she just pushes his hand away from her before he can continue.

"I need to go see Dean," Lizzy tells him, standing up. She looks at him one last time before walking for the door. She pauses with her back to him before leaving, not able to look him in the eye again. "Sam-I-Am, I'll always love you, trust that. But this… I'm scared this and now… I'm scared of you." She sighs, knowing what she has to say to him will crush him. She tried so hard to not tell him this, but he's left her no choice as she goes for the gusto. "And Louie wouldn't want you to do this. She loved you and this is not something she'd want for you. She'd want to stop you however she could."

Lizzy leaves him sitting alone in the waiting room, silence all around him as Sam's shame makes him break. He remains there alone, doesn't go after her or go talk to Dean. He cries alone, lamenting what he thinks is the loss of an ally and good friend. He begins feeling that alone is something he might have to deal with a lot in the future if this is the reaction people will be giving him over his decisions. And all he wanted to do was help.

* * *

"Hot shot," Lizzy calls out while quickly making her way to the chair at his side.

"L," Dean sighs in relief just at the sight of her. He instantly feels a calm come over him with her presence, the stress of everything lessening and comfort finally being found for the first time all day when she takes his hand in hers.

"You look like shit," she says through her worried tears as she runs a loving hand down the side of his face, avoiding any swollen bruising she sees. He closes his eyes and leans into the warmth of her palm. God, he really does feel a million times better with just her touch.

"Looks worse than it is," he assures her through lying teeth. Actually, he feels much worse than he looks.

"I'm so sorry," she cries, her hand never leaving his cheek. "Dean, I'm sorry this happened."

"Hey," he calmly says back. "You didn't have anything to do with this."

"I should have," she rebuts. "I never should've left you guys. It was selfish and I should've stayed on the road."

"No," Dean tells her. "You needed to. And I'm glad you weren't there for this. It wasn't good." He pauses, contemplating what he should and shouldn't tell her. She's always told him to lean on her, to ask for help, to tell her things he needs to let out, but this one is heavier than anything else he's ever ask for help with.

"What's going on in there?" Lizzy questions him, her fingers lightly combing through his hair. His eyes meet hers sadly. "Hate to tell you, but I know when something is eating at you. Can literally feel it. What is it?"

Dean opens his mouth to answer but at the same time that familiar fluttering of wings fills the room. "Great," Dean grumbles as he looks to the other side of his bed, Castiel now occupying the seat there.

"Are you all right?" the angel asks.

"Is that a joke?" Lizzy loudly asks, her anger still there for the angels and what they've done to her Dean. Dean looks to her quickly, silently asking her to take it easy. She complies but her ire stays with her.

"No thanks to you," Dean answers with quiet disdain.

"You need to be more careful," Castiel informs him.

"You need to learn how to manage a fucking devil's trap," Lizzy spits out, unable to do ask Dean asks of her.

"That's not what I mean," Castiel explains simply. "Uriel is dead."

"Was it the demons?" Dean asks hopefully. He'd love for that dickless jackass to go down in the most painful way. Demons usually did a great job of that.

"It was disobedience," Castiel says.

"So it was you," Lizzy surmises, earning herself a hard stare from the angel.

"He was working against us," Castiel adds, trying to explain that he is, in fact, more on the humans' side of this.

"Is it true?" Dean question, needing to know the truth. "Did I break the first seal?"

"What!?" Lizzy nearly shouts to him with the loaded question. What the fuck is he talking about? First seal? Dean?

He ignores her question. "Did I start all this?"

"Yes," Castiel sadly replies as he feels Lizzy's panic grip her from across the hospital bed.

"What does that mean?" Lizzy asks quickly, Dean looking away from her with the question. "Someone start talking!"

"And it is written," Castiel begins to quote as Dean closes his eyes, willing Castiel's voice not to become Alistair's in his ears. "The first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break."

Lizzy's death grip threatens to break Dean's hand with its strength once the truth is given to her.

"Come on," she says disbelieving. "That can't be true."

"It is," Castiel firmly tells her before turning back to Dean. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you…"

"Jump-started the apocalypse," Dean finished for him.

"And we were too late," Castiel says.

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?" Dean asks, his voice cracking.

"It's not blame that falls on you, Dean," Castiel informs him.

"Damn straight," Lizzy adds, fearful that Dean will become a guilt-filled mess… as if he isn't already. She doesn't know if he can handle this much being put on him.

"It's fate," Castiel ignores her. "The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Dean begs of the angel. Castiel gets a faraway look and Dean gets worried. "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit!" Lizzy shouts at the angel, knowing he has to be aware of something.

"I don't," he repeats. "They don't tell me much. I just know our fate rests with you."

"Well, then you guys are screwed," Dean sadly tells Castiel.

"Dean," Lizzy sadly says his name with hopes to stop him from saying such things. Hearing him this weak, this broken, it hurts more than any fractured bone or gunshot wound ever could. This is crushing.

"I can't do it, Cas," Dean keeps going. "It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be."

As a tear slides silently down Dean's cheek, Lizzy breaks. She cries, looking at him, hurt by his words and his lack of faith in his own self. And to hear him think his father would be disappointed in him, she can't take it.

"Find someone else," Dean cries. "It's not me."

"Whether you want it to be or not," Castiel starts, looking straight into Dean's eyes. "It is you."

Castiel leaves them after his statement, the room is quiet but for the medical machines working. The lack of noise is deafening.

Lizzy climbs up onto the hospital bed and lays down next to Dean, careful not to jostle him or hurt him any further. She needs to be next to him, as close as possible. Dean looks away from her, unable to look her in the eye with the shame and disappointment he's sure she has in him. He feels her pull herself under the blankets and mold her body into his side. Her head resting on his shoulder, she begins talking, hoping she can get through to him.

"Please don't blame yourself."

"It's my fault," Dean says quietly. "I deserve every ounce of the blame."

"You didn't know," Lizzy rebuts. "And you did all that you could…"

"And I wasn't strong enough." Dean tenses up as the conversation rolls around in his head, tears still making their way sadly down his face. "I ended the world. All because I couldn't handle what I'd signed up for."

"No one could handle that," Lizzy tries again.

"No one but dad," Dean challenges. "He was down there years, centuries longer than I was. He never gave in. He never let them change him."

"And he's the exception to the rule then," Lizzy explains. "Your father was hardened long before he ever went down there. He already went through the loss of your mother, the absolute love of his life.  _That_  ruined him before hell ever could."

Dean doesn't speak. His soul aches but he doesn't speak. She may make a good point, but it doesn't matter. He feels her hand against his far cheek, turning his head gently to look at her. When he sees her bright chestnut eyes, for the first time since he'd met her he doesn't feel better. He feels more ashamed for letting her down, the one person he never wanted to ever let down.

"You tell me that if something came along and took me away that you wouldn't become something else, something cold and tough that could handle anything after that loss." She looks to him for an answer, but he just stares back, tired.

"I don't want to justify my mistakes anymore," he tells her in a sob before looking back out the window. "I made them and I have to own up to them."

"Then we'll figure it out," Lizzy tells him with her head back on his shoulder, holding him tighter than before.

"How do we figure out something so damn big?" his deflated voice asks of her.

"Honestly, I don't know," she admits. "But if you're supposed to stop it all, then we'll stop it all."

"L, stop giving me the Tony Robins," Dean begs of her. "Face facts here. We're screwed. I'm screwed. The world is gonna burn and there's nothing I can do about that. I'm weak. I can't…."

His head snaps sharply around to her when she grabs his chin and makes him look her in the eyes. The surprise of her harsh actions is added to quickly by her harsh words.

"Cut the shit," she tells him with anger. "You are Dean fucking Winchester. You laugh at demons and tell angels to go fuck themselves. You've conquered absolutely everything that has been thrown at you. You are strong and you can handle this. I know you. And how many times have you told me I can handle something that I thought I couldn't?"

Dean closes his eyes but she shakes his chin when he does. "Hey, look at me." Dean reluctantly does so. "We can figure this out, ok? You, me, Sam… you aren't alone. Clearly you have to do this and if instead of sack up you decide you're gonna act like a chicken shit over this, then I'm gonna kill you myself."

"What the fuck, L…"

"Angel blood, remember?" Lizzy reminds him. "That shit is in me. I was told that I'm gonna be important to the saving of the fucking world and  _you_  told me I could handle that.  _You_  told me I was strong enough to get through it all and I believed you. Now it's your turn to believe me. Dean, you are no push over and no pussy last I checked. Time to buck up. I already have because of you. You  _cannot_ quit on me," the tears begin to fall all over again. "Not now."

And with that, he fully breaks. Dean cries for really the first time in a long time. Lizzy pulls him in, burying his head in her neck and holding him tightly, showing him he's safe and she's there. In the moment Lizzy loses her cool too and cries right along with him. She isn't sure if it's the fear she has for both their futures, the fright she holds for what Sam's been doing, the physical pain he's in, or the fact that she's so connected to him through the Nephilim blood in her that she literally feel his pain as her own. Whatever it is, most likely a combination of it all, she gives in.

Sam picks a hell of a time to look in and check on Dean. He finds his brother and Lizzy clutching to the other sobbing and he doesn't know what to do. Air, he needs air.

Walking quickly through the hospital, he jogs out to the quiet parking lot. Hiding behind an old Volkswagen, he sits on the asphalt and leans his arms on his bent up knees. He drops his head against the bumper of the car with a sigh and looks up at the clear blue sky of the day. Most people are probably taking advantage of the weather, going for walks, getting yard work done, but here he is; hiding from the sorrow inside that hospital. Hiding from his brother because of what he did, his big secret revealed. Hiding from Lizzy and the way she's going to look at him differently from now on. Hiding from the always evolving burden that their fucked up lives continually added onto them.

"Leave us alone," Sam calmly yet angrily says up into the air above him. "It's too much. I don't know how much you think a few humans can handle, but we are way past manageable. We don't deserve this. All we've ever done is help others. We've given up everything for this shitty, horrible life we've been given. Stop making it worse. Please. Just… just…"

Sam lowers his head onto his forearms in absolute loss. "Just leave us alone. Please."

* * *

 

**_THE END_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment on this story or on any particular chapter. I will always reply and I always appreciate the help a comment brings, whether positive or negative in any way!


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